Being
1mo ago
It’s like a vacation area for plumbers.
Haha, don't sell it too hard! What about Pensacola drives it the #1 spot on your list?
Which developing world city would make be at the top of your list? Mexico City? My hesitation (perhaps unfounded) around many developing countries is instability of the political/economic variety. The Americas, at least, tend to more extreme swings than the first world typically experiences. Instability isn't a big deal if you are buying a vacation/second home, but for someone like me I'd be hesitant investing the significant resources (primarily time) to assimilate in a place that has a high chance of becoming significantly less hospitable.
Being
1mo ago
I've never seriously considered island life. I tend to think of the islands as a pretty strict dichotomy between the working class locals (involved in service and tourism industries) and the wealthy who bring their money with them.
Neither of us has spent any non-vacation time in any island nation so we are coming at it blind. Is there a particular nation you'd recommend above the others? Also keep in mind the kids aspect: would you want to raise your children there?
Being
1mo ago
Is there a specific country you would recommend if the visa wasn't an issue?
I don't want to trivialize the difficulty and I may just be naive, but I don't think that the visa question is actually that much of a determiner. Young, educated, financially successful professionals from the West are more able to obtain visas than others so YMMV. If it matters, we have EU and US citizenship currently.
Being
1mo ago
Agreed. I think the best criteria for determining when a challenge will cause growth or trauma is the likelihood of success. If you force a child to repeatedly endure a ritual they have 0 chance of succeeding at, that is abuse.
Overcoming a challenge provides a sense of accomplishment that has no substitute - for children and adults alike. Kids (over the age of 10 at least) can assess difficulty well enough to know whether the challenge was real or not.
Of course in order for a challenge to be real enough to provide that positivity there has to be a real chance of failure too. But then, learning to deal with failure is it's own sort of reward. It's a tough calibration and has to be adapted to the individual child as well.
Being
1mo ago
Are these constraints too strict or relaxed for you?
If I could live anywhere, it would be NYC... [you should live] in Eastern Europe
That was quite the twist haha. I'd love to know what context clues were used to make this determination. Has our measly 250k income condemned us to being Europoors forevermore? On a serious note, I will say that you did correctly deduce that NYC would not be our first pick for places to live. Is there a specific Eastern European nation you'd recommend? I hadn't considered these nations as I've never been there or known anyone contemplating emigrating there.
Being
1mo ago
Consider it added to my list. I'll get back to you in 5 months with my post visit review.
Being
9mo ago
Sorry I missed the cut, but I'd strongly encourage you to not do prompts.
The best posts on SSC, reddit motte, & here have always been the ones where somebody dives deep into their area of expertise and/or hobby horse.
Reading somebody's 500 words on a given topic can be worthwhile if the person is a skilled writer and spends a few hours on it.
Reading years of expertise and domain knowledge distilled down to a single essay is almost always a delight.
I worry that if everyone just sticks to the prompt two things will occur:
- People will be bored. And I'm not talking about just the eventual readers. The task will feel like a chore that people have to drag themselves over the finish line for.
- The final work will be bland. Think of the school essays. They almost always sucked. And not just because most students are poor writers. For any possible prompt chosen, the odds that the members of this writing circle are going to have the best takes on the internet are small. And if their takes aren't among the best, why should any of us read them?
Exception: anything personal. Examples of prompts that are worth doing are ones where the question is essentialy free form, but just focused. Stuff like:
- "Why do you post on the Motte?
- "Do you think the culture war should be waged? Is a détente possible? What do you think is the best possible path to a truce?"
- What is an issue that you feel strongly about that nobody else seems to? Do you think others should care more (read: rant away. Works best on a fairly lighthearted topic imo)
- On CW topics, Why do you believe what you believe? How do you evaluate incompatible worldviews when both are espoused by (seemingly) intelligent, rational actors supporting their positions with evidence?
- What are your core values? Do you have a guiding value or even just a heuristic that you find yourself circling back to?
Also: Throwing my hat in the ring as a backup if you need another. I asked about writing groups a few months ago: https://www.themotte.org/post/436/friday-fun-thread-for-april-7/84920, but didn't want to take on starting it myself ;)
Being
1yr ago
13 cm is quite tiny. Just the bench portion (excluding any legs) would be pushing 10. If you go DIY route I think it would be easier to make a detachable bench rather than foldable.
Sometimes DIY is easier if you just breakdown an existing product to fit your needs. If you start with something like this Amazon Basics Bench (I've had mine for a few years and it's surprisingly sturdy), you'd just need to cut the legs off and devise a new attachment mechanism.
Being
1yr ago
I think I'm going to spend a few weeks looking around and maybe trying out a group or two first. If I end up (20% chance) deciding to make my own I'll reach out!
What genre are you planning on writing?
Being
1yr ago
First off, big thanks! Your advice is high-quality.
It's a lot like finding a good gaming group, but it's more personal because you're actually critiquing each other. In some ways, it's like dating.
Alas, my gaming groups have always been IRL friends so I've never had that experience. The dating analogy is a fun one. If there was a Hinge for writing groups I'd be all about it. Set some filters, screen out matches with some bants, and meet up - sounds like the dream.
I would personally recommend online groups focusing on your genre over a local group, unless you really find it valuable to have that face-to-face interaction.
I definitely agree that at least general genre matching seems like a must, but do you think it would be worth the effort to try local? I live in a major US city so, at least in theory, it should be possible to have both. I imagine that having face to face interactions could reduce a lot of the issues around dedication. Sanderson advocated pretty heavily for in person > online and while he's not my favorite author, the man gets shit done. As someone who has no experience with either medium (outside of a classroom setting) I don't have an informed preference.
My best experience was joining a larger online group, paying attention to who was actually a decent writer and gave decent critiques, and then contacting them to form a small private group of our own.
This seems like a winning move. Almost the only move upon reflection. I'd imagine the typical gatekeeping dynamic is in play: any group that is open to outsiders is likely going to suffer the weaknesses of that openness. I imagine that joining a group with the intent to defect is probably a point in favor of online groups? Would be much trickier and ruder to splinter an in person group without hard feelings.
Being
1yr ago
Being
1mo ago
See my response to @Antitheticality who raised a similar point below.
Noted. At this point, I'm leaning towards trying to find an existing group. If I spend a few weeks looking and end up disappointed I'll report back and set something up. I tend to not like to half ass things so if I do decide to do my own I'll be signing myself up for a decent load of work.
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