Ex_Nihilo
3yr ago
Why do I find it so heartbreaking that so many 2022 FIFA World Cup commentators and panelists are women? I have a hard time articulating my justifications for these feelings, but there’s a weight in my chest as if I’ve lost a close friend or just discovered that my lover is cheating on me. One of those ideas that’s like seasickness - you feel like you’re going to die and everyone else thinks it’s pathetic and funny.
Ex_Nihilo
3yr ago
Just finished Sowell’s Black Rednecks and White Liberals, an astounding collection of prophetic essays from the early 90s that now ranks as one of the best books I’ve ever read. I anticipate I will re-read it frequently.
Ex_Nihilo
3yr ago
I’m fascinated by the female propensity to watch ads, to the extent that nearly half of all commercials during sporting events are aimed toward women. What’s going on there?
Ex_Nihilo
3yr ago
Thank you for sharing that. It's surprisingly heartening to hear of others in similar situations.
To draw from the example of Dietrich himself, the Bonhoeffer is more outwardly counteractive than the Schindler from the very beginning:
-
Forming and/or joining groups and associations meant to oppose the oppressive ideology, with a particular concentration on reforming the thought processes of schoolchildren and young adults.
-
Constantly plotting with sympathetic colleagues about how to strike the seat of power at the opportune time.
-
Leaving academia (as Bonhoeffer did) as a countercultural statement.
-
Signing one's own name to inflammatory documents and incriminating papers.
I also generally operate on your concept of balance; not being seen to advocate for the dominant ideology while building up just enough evidence in my favor that would give pause to any Inquisitional tribunal with suspicions that I am against them. I intend to live to see the end of this war, and to have had a hand in deciding its victor.
It's true, I have no analog to the cover of a factory nor to victims of a murderous regime, but I am the only unrepentant member of my race and gender in my department. Time and again I have seen that glint in the eyes of students (male and female) who see me as the last vestige of intellectual masculinity (not that I embody that in any definitive way, but given the environment, I might as well be Tolkien himself), someone who is proud of the Western world and the European legacy (in parts) and who maintains a spine in a world of competitive cuckoldry.
Without sounding too vain, I'm reminded of the Jordan Peterson phenomenon with young men finally finding shelter from a world that hates them. I think about where I and many others would be without 12 Rules for Life and feel the imperative of being the only lighthouse on a rocky shore.
But then again, maybe I am actually doing all of them a disservice by deceiving them into thinking this could be worth their time, deserving of their effort, a reason to be hopeful. Perhaps without me, accelerationism would take over and students who would otherwise "grin and bear it" would leave academia. Or perhaps I have deceived myself, and I truthfully do not alter the confidence and futures of students. Any of the above is possible.
What I want to do is alter the ideological temperature of the department, and I very much understand the impulsive scoff I often hear in reaction to that. But the fact of the matter is I've already seen results in small ways; students thinking about issues from two sides, contemplating perspectives they never would have had reason to consider before. So that vision is still there... essentially, I suppose I quixotically believe in academic reformation with the idealistic chaos of a Disney or Luther. I expect to have visions of the devil within the semester.
Working in Far-Left Environments; or, The Schindler-Bonhoeffer Spectrum
I (justly) don't tend to bring about much sympathy for being a logos-based rationalist in the overwhelming pathos of academia, which is why I have, on many occasions, mused to myself about why I legitimately desire to stay in a hostile environment as the very definition of The Enemy. The work is rich and fulfilling, the students are extraordinary and curious, and I have found a feeling of purpose that always eluded me in Industry.
And yet...
The feeling of being a "sheep in wolf's clothing" is ever-present, and the anxiety of "how long before I'm finally discovered" flashes constantly in the back of my mind.
To process this paradox, I have devised a system that helps justify and/or explain (to myself, if not to anyone else) what exactly I'm doing here:
I must choose a position somewhere between two polar opposites, both of which I have seen in others and one of which tends to work in the long term.
-
BE A BONHOEFFER || Attempt to diligently do your work in your own little corner until you can no longer pretend that all is well. At the moment the Eye of Sauron finally scans your hiding place, don't let them get the first shot off. Strike before they understand your true belief system, with the full understanding that failure means it's all over, probably in the field as a whole, not just that one place of employment. Be viewed with respect by those on "your side," even if some people are saying your time and/or manner was all wrong.
-
BE A SCHINDLER || Do everything in your power to appear the pristine model of their belief system, going to political functions, advocating for their causes, volunteering for all the seminars encouraging the community to smoke out the very thing you secretly are. Work diligently under the table to undermine their platform and save their targets of elimination. Survive and thrive as long as no one suspects that "there's something weird going on with that one wolf." Fall to the permanent blacklist if caught. Be viewed with reluctant respect by those on "your side" (after all, you did help to promote causes for the "other side"), even if those you "saved" don't fully realize what you put on the line for them.
My question: Is this a valid system of judgment? What have I neglected to think about? Can I really Schindler my way to retirement?
Yes, you're definitely on to something there. It's not that I don't enjoy meeting women with enthusiasm and knowledge of the game, it's just not the time and place (which now seems like the most taboo of ideas).
But there's something else happening there too. In 2022, women are, generally speaking, the enforcers of Woke Morality and, therefore, The Fun Police. This morning the BBC panel were rhapsodizing on how the World Cup needs to be about unity, diversity, equality, etc... and very much downplaying the competitive and nationalist aspects, both of which now seem verboten to glorify. So on a bigger level, it is ironically as if women in sports act as the executioners of real diversity, substituting it for a puritan globalhomo ideological version of Soylent: all the nutrients in controlled amounts with no variety, ever.
More options
Context Copy link