Joyful
16d ago
To the contrary we don't diagnose teenagers with personality disorders because all teenagers have personality disorders. BPD manifests early and mellows (not that I would date anyone of any age with it).
Modern society creates anxiety in males and females, its theoretically manageable and curable.
Joyful
16d ago
Brain development problems in the range of 8-10 IQ points. (More than half a standard deviation).
Joyful
16d ago
Puberty blockers cause permanent brain development problems as well as stunting sexual maturity at what tanner stage 2? They aren't harmless.
Joyful
21d ago
I'd dare call myself a 7/10 on a genuine gaussian curve, i.e 70th percentile for Indian men.
Are you only competing with other indian men? I thought you were in the UK for some reason.
Joyful
21d ago
I see a dozen woman a day on the streets who I can tell have had work done. I struggle to name a single non-celebrity man.
Yes, its unusual for regular people in most of the west. Are you sure you want to be vain enough to buck the trend?
Joyful
21d ago
I'd also add that this kind of surgery flags you as super vain to most western women. If its not making a huge difference it might be signaling you don't want to take on.
Joyful
24d ago
I developed a daily nap habit during the pandemic (wfh) that I would like to break. I always liked a weekend nap but this is ridiculous. I don't think this is actually "need for sleep" based because it happens regardless of the actual amount of sleep I get the night before and unlike at night it often takes quite a while to fall asleep. I'm sick of wasting 2 hours every afternoon so I pulled out the ole Atomic Habits to approach the problem anew. Now is a good time to tackle this as I recently moved so that is a good time to create new habits.
Things I've tried:
- more coffee. Delays onset of nap once I lie down but does not prevent me from wanting to nap.
- moving nap location from bed to couch to be less comfy. I will lie down on the couch but my sleepy self cannot be persuaded to not move once I want to really start the nap
- substitute meditation. fine, now I want my nap
Most stuff on the internet treats this like a sleep problem but it really isn't. It tends to happen regardless of sleep quantity and quality. It also happens whether or not I ate lunch so it isn't that. Naps are a great breaker of anxious or depressed states for me, so part of what I'm craving is that emotional reset (hence starting in the pandemic), but the daily nap happens regardless of mood.
Ok atomic habits says every habit has a cue, craving, response, reward.
Cues: bored, start mid-afternoon energy slump, craving emotional security, seeing it is 1 or 2 on the clock, glimpse beautiful cool sheets (which cues are most important?)
Craving: craving to nap wants only to nap and cannot be logicked to "go for a walk" (I walk enough taking the dog out 4x a day, thank you) or "go to the gym" as an alternative. Craving-self will not turn on an alarm to take an insufficient nap or similar nap limiting behaviors. I can take a book to the bed with me but reading and sleeping go together so this almost never prevents sleep.
Response/Reward: nap of 1-2.5 hours, emotional reset, possibly broken by having to pee because coffee.
So for some habits you can try to make them unappealing, but I don't want to do anything to undermine my desire for sleep in general. Instead I think we want to add some points of friction and set up an alternative behavior for that time of day.
Friction: close bedroom door and block it with laundry basket
Alternative: sit down in living room at first sign of craving and watch specific new tv show I haven't seen, telling craving self this is just a 45 minute delay to nap
Alternative: drink diet soda at 1-2pm rather than with lunch
Any other ideas?
https://sfstandard.com/2025/06/13/ice-arrest-bay-area-testicle-grabbing-brawl/
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