I remember reading your post a while back describing your struggles with dating, and now reading these posts as well it strikes me that maybe you're missing something important about how good of a partner you are. Like, you're checking all the objective boxes you think you need to check: stable, moderate/high status, attractive, tall, can fight other men, etc. You can get dates but they never seem to progress into something stable.
You remind me of a good friend of mine who's been fighting the dating market for years. He's similar: conservative, financially stable, owns two houses, good job, hobbies, relatively attractive, smart, charming, funny, etc. And I've watched him battle and battle and blame all the women. Meanwhile, me, the dorky friend got divorced and tried the dating apps for the first time (they suck), went on dates with two women and ended up marrying one and having a kid. So what's the difference? Well, the interesting thing is that my wife actually went on two dates with my friend years before we met. She said that at first he was great - fun to talk to, smart, charming. But by the end of the second date she new it would go nowhere. He was always 'on', always projecting some image. He's the equivalent of a high maintenance woman; very high standards, fussy, complains about shit all the time, feels like he is smarter and more cultured than everyone else. Me? I'm low maintenance. I find lots of body types attractive, I can flex and adjust around lots of quirks, I'm just easy to get along with. The most important thing for me was finding someone that had the same life goals, was compassionate and caring, and financially reasonable.
But there's good news! He finally did find woman that he lives with now and is planning to marry and have kids. She's South East Asian. Submissive. She wants the man who makes decisions and tells her what to do. She's lovely and I'm really happy for him.
No it's a pretty normal and reasonable reason to not go on date 3. Normal people, especially women, can get a feel for who you are pretty quick. And to follow up, we're still friends years later and my wife likes him, but she's also even more sure that she was right in her initial gut feeling about him. She likes him in doses because he's smart and funny and cares about his friends and family, but he's also an overconfident elitist.
It's funny that you assume the conservative man must be smarter. But considering that she completed two clinical graduate degrees concurrently and is actively being poached by employers in her field, I think it's safe to say that she's just as smart, if not smarter. The difference is that she has a good handle on how smart she is, whereas my friend -- while being above average -- thinks he's way smarter than he actually is and tries to impress people by using words like 'comportment'. It can be impressive on first pass but as you get to know him you realize that half the time he's talking out of his ass with extreme confidence. I love the guy but I know who he is.
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