Sheepclothes
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User ID: 2217
Sheepclothes
11mo ago
That was very beautifully said. I will notify you when I marry her.
Sheepclothes
11mo ago
Married men of the motte, I need a sanity check.
To put it bluntly, my partner is lower status and less intelligent than I am. 110 vs 125 IQ points. middle class vs upper middle class.
We've been together for a year and our relationship is otherwise great (unrelated mental hang ups i have posted about here before aside). I can see myself marrying and being content.
Unfortunately, I am a pretty HBD-pilled individual, and the concept of my future children potentially being less intelligent and of phenotypically lower status fills me with dread. (The woman in question has many many positive qualities I DO want my kids to have.)
Is it over? Is that alone enough to say I should break up because that shows how I don't really love her etc? Are doubts like this normal for a young guy who's maybe getting commitment anxiety?
I come from a family of fairly accomplished people. Upper middle class academics and some geniuses. Her family generationally is lower/middle middle class.
My children would inherit this.
Now I should add that her family is of perfectly average to above average intelligence. The biggest difference is that they have very little intellectual curiosity. Abysmal levels of general knowledge, archetypical shape rotators.
(They do have their own opinions and are independent thinkers but they are deeply "practical people")
I thought this wouldn't bother me, and it doesn't, in the relationship. But I dread my kids being like that.
Narcissism? Does my girlfriend secretly disgust me? Am I giving this too much thought? I really want some outside opinion on this, preferably by people with children. This is obviously something I can only talk about on this forum.
Sheepclothes
11mo ago
Class and inteligence are both very heritable. Choosing my partner is by a wide margin the most control I have over how my children will turn out. I am trying not to live with regret, which is why I want the perspective of parents who have already made tge choice.
Sheepclothes
9mo ago
Im younger, less long distance, not about to engage, but otherwise in the exact same boat. I have nothing helpful to say sorry. My current thinking is that this is just something introspective people have to suffer through.
Sometimes i whish she gave me a reason to break up with her. Maybe i need to be challenged by my partner in order to have something else to pour energy in. I love putting energy into the relationship.
Sheepclothes
10mo ago
First, watch this video: https://youtube.com/watch?v=HUzAukj2jMQ&t=15s Small channel but excellent, very well researched truth seeking etc. Watch it, especially if you buy into negative red pill narratives about women.
What comes next is regurgitation from what I learned from this channel, again he makes sure he uses the most up to date and replicated studies.
Thinking that your average looks and non-super charisma increases your chance of getting cheated or left is insecurity, and is its own thing. This is statistically wrong belief. These things don't raise the chance of your partner cheating on you or leaving you. On that point, since you're a Motte user, you probably like numbers and statistics. While numbers and statistics can't fix you, I find they help realize underlying issues.
On to the facts:
Men cheat more, and for different reasons than women. The most common reason to cheat for men is that they are horny. The most common reason for woman to cheat is that they are unhappy in their relationships.
I'm not going to dig up the exact numbers here, so just trust me or look them up yourself.
If a woman; is content in your sexual or romantic relationship, does not have a mental disorder like bipolar, is college educated and has a secure attachment style, She will not cheat It's just a vanishingly small chance. Men are the fallen creatures who bang people just because they see the opportunity.
If not everything here applies, you either should be happy if she leaves you, or you should work on improving those aspects of your relationship.
Leaving you for someone else is essentially cheating, but first ending the relationship. So I think most of the same applies.
The numbers are really on men's side when it comes to this. As long as you are a good boyfriend, you're golden.
Of course, that's just numbers. The numbers on getting over being anxious about your girlfriend leaving you are much worse. My best advice from myself and friends: Don't burden your girlfriend with it by not being honest with yourself and with her. Talk to her about it while framing it as the pernicious disease it is, and not something lacking in her, which is what she will interpret it as. Never ever delude yourself into thinking your fears are legitimate. Unless, you know, she's hanging around more with her best male friend than with you or something like that.
Sheepclothes
6mo ago
I have a really really hard to believe o1 or o1-mini even didnt improve the performance over gpt4-o. What does "used o1 where" possible mean? He didnt use it on day 8 for instance.
Sheepclothes
9mo ago
Get ducks
Sheepclothes
10mo ago
He got you too huh
Sheepclothes
8mo ago
The starship flights were going fast enough to get into orbit, but their trajectory was purposefully set so that after leaving the atmosphere they would crash back down.
Sheepclothes
11mo ago
Tests and some fudging to protect privacy
Sheepclothes
11mo ago
No idea. I gel with her perfectly well thats not the problem.
Sheepclothes
11mo ago
You make some good points, but are you a parent though? Im fully aware of the exact statistical difference this partnership will have on my offspring. I only care how succesful and capable my future children are, insofar that future me will care.
Yes and yes. That is a much healthier way of framing things, immediately makes me feel a lot better about having children, thanks!
It still however leaves the fear that i will feel alienated from my own children and the belief I have failed in endowing them with the capacity to achieve great things.
But it could just be projection from my much more intelligent father never saying he was proud of me or something.
(We are not married)
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