YoungAchamian
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User ID: 680
YoungAchamian
8d ago
I think the desire is really to keep his defenders in the group. They are good actors defending their friend, not realizing he's a bad actor. That's admirable. They are good people. There is a fear that if they leave, he'll eventually do the same thing to them, which a lot of the group are worried about. It is altogether a surprisingly empathetic group, that is likely being taken advantage of by a narcissist. I do think this conflict has strengthened my bonds with the others in the group, especially the 7 others with grievances. So I guess that's the silver lining. I'm really just confused on how to effectively deal with manipulative narcissists in general, nipping this in the bud would have probably been far more effective.
Well according to him he's the victim here. He's given some "sorry not-sorry" type apologies prior to being booted. Played a "I'm diagnosed with Autism" card in discussion with the group leader, that only his defenders really believe. He's all together too social and charismatic for most people to believe that one. I think he ran for state senate when he was younger, which doesn't really code as Autistic to me. The motivation is really unknown for why he started bullying different people. The current motivation is obviously not to admit fault and stay in the group or at least drag enough people with him to start his own group. It really does appear as some sort of narcissism.
Edit: it was state house of rep
YoungAchamian
8d ago
He's very private with his sexuality but codes as gay or bi to most people. I'm straight. It was a hypothesis I had initially but it just felt too self-centered and his response was too extreme. Plus doing to this to other people makes that angle feel less likely
YoungAchamian
8d ago
Like it or not, Europe broke out of those conditions from 1,000 years of Catholic theocracy. Asia modernized by copying them. This is a well-known, historically supported story
Citation needed on this claim that somehow Christianity is the source of the technological advancement required to advance out of mud huts. Particularly when for the most of this time period everyone below a noble and a few wealthy merchants, still lived in mud huts.
YoungAchamian
9d ago
I'm mostly posting this just to vent but I also would like some feedback on handling bad actors in social groups.
I'm apart of this group of 15-25 board gamers/social deduction game players in my local area. About a year ago one of my closer friends in this group but also from prior to it did sort of a 180. Before we were playing lots of games together, sometimes 40 hours a week playing Frosthaven as a duo, and just starting to branch out into activities outside of board games. To afterwards him ignoring me, giving me the cold shoulder, and never being available anymore. I was understandably confused, I inquired to him about it and was essentially given the Uno reverse card and also told that I was imagining it. I never got closure on the subject but that oftentimes is a fantasy so shrug. He then for about 7 months after engaged in a fairly subtle but noticeable campaign of bullying, passive aggressive comments, ignoring, and deliberately targeting me in all the games we played jointly as part of the same general group. I was mostly content to take the high road, remain stoic, and ignore him. I snarked back a couple of times but mostly kept my composure. From time to time people inquired about the situation, I gave them my side, asked them to stay out of it, told them I didn't want the drama. and that seemed to work out.
Well, until about 2 months ago, when someone from the group approached me with a very similar story of how he had done the same thing towards her (more recently than me). She wasn't really willing to take it on the chin like I was and after more incidents of his bad behavior surfaced involving others as well things have gotten heated. Currently He got kicked from the private discord group. I co-host a game at a public game shop and he has been asked to take a break for a bit, until tempers have cooled.
This went over like a lead balloon and turned the dumpster fire into a nuclear explosion. He doesn't really engage, but he has two friends (who were also friends with everyone else) in this group very aggressively defending him. Calling all of us bullies, yada yada. It's all very dramatic. The realization among all the people with complaints + the leader of the group discord, about 9 people at this point, is that this main guy is very manipulative, some accusations about Narcissism Personality Disorder or Machiavellianism have been quietly whispered.
But in all of this I'm lost on what to actually do. I've made my peace that he's a bad actor and I just avoid him now. The group leader doesn't want a thorn left laying around, particular after the incredibly dismissive response he received when trying to work through it with the guy and then the vicious response he received from the friends after booting him. Other people in the group are much less level headed and want blood. And in all of this I am reminded almost of the whole MOP article.
YoungAchamian
2mo ago
That survival is largely down to medieval monks.
I always find this argument interesting because it is a just-so-story. Did medieval monks save classical literature because they were a scholastic order associated with Christianity or because they were a scholastic order and scholastic orders like to write things down and record literature. How much of the "Christian" element is important in their operation and why did Christianity in particular lead to the creation of these scholastic orders in a way that Greco-Roman paganism did not?
This led to a following thought. If these were Hindu brahmins/Buddhist monks would they too have recorded the literature, transcribing it so that it could be passed on? What about an Egyptian Pagan order dedicated to Thoth?
YoungAchamian
3mo ago
Fun list, I wish I knew someone with Kemet, its been on my "to play list" forever
I also wish I could just regularly get people to play Twilight Imperium 4e. I manage to wrangle a group of 6 together for a session this weekend. Hopefully I can turn it into a monthly or bi-monthly occurrence.
how is 80% possible? 12 games isn’t divisible by 5
technically 83% 10/12. I find it easier to just round.
I also appreciate your username, Schoolman.
Thanks, I suppose Bakker fans would be more common among this forum's participants
YoungAchamian
3mo ago
What sort of metrics are you looking for when adding to your collection? Great at Two-player? Strategic Depth? Complexity? I ask because Ark Nova is a pretty big jump from Wingspan. It's a much more complex, strategic game, much closer to it's spiritual predecessor Terraforming Mars.
It does play great at two player. My stats tell me out of the 12 games I've played of it, 80% was at 2p and average game time was ~2.5/3 hours If you want something closer to the Wingspan level of complexity I'd recommend:
- 7-Wonders Duel
- Splendor Duel (much better than the original)
- Azul (also scales well for when you want to play with others)
- Everdell (Another worker placement like Wingspan)
If you want to scale in complexity, I can personally vouch that these are all amazing plays at both 2 and greater play counts
- Ark Nova
- Brass Birmingham
- Spirit Island (Cooperative)
- Frosthaven (Cooperative campaign)
- Inis
YoungAchamian
5mo ago
I've played both with regular frequency, though my Victoria 3 skills are probably still fairly mid. AMA
YoungAchamian
1yr ago
I actually disagree with the whole private gathering exclusivity idea. my experience is that most people meet through meetups or they bring their existing friends. I know a couple groups in Chicago, that do the exclusively euro-style, long, strategy games in a rotating manner, and they use meetup to find new games/and or people and occasionally get together privately for a very specific game. Since moving away from Chicago a couple months ago, I'd say my new city has 11 board game bars in the area and I play at many of them through both meetups and private gatherings with people I met from those meetups.
YoungAchamian
1yr ago
I find it interesting that while decrying the woke colonization of speculative fiction awards you still have a very high opinion of The Broken Earth series. The first book, was very obviously good, but books 2 and 3 were flaming dumpster fires. With every POV character in book 2 being boring and predictable(besides the main protag) and book 3's lore of the world having the chance to be great but fell back on being entirely cliché and unoriginal. Book 3 also had an a very predictable ending, no deeper questions asked, its themes only shallowly furrowed. I'm of the opinion that Jemisin won the first award and merit + wokeness and the next two books entirely on woke themes. However I'm super curious why you think they are good if you want to write your thoughts.
YoungAchamian
1yr ago
As someone else said, Snakes and Lattes is one of the more geeky places in the city at least for board games. The Games Tender there has told me that they tried MTG and didn't get much of a showing. There is a DnD bar called Dmen Tap up in avondale that has a campaign on Weds, open to new people. Dice Dojo up in Edgewater is much more neckbeardy. I never did my FNM there but they sold cards and the clerks seemed knowledgeable. Avoid Bonus Round its super woke, wouldn't even stock secret hitler because it was made by "those people" according to them.
Thanks, I got the book and I'll check it out.
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