aldomilyar
1mo ago
Some genuinely aren't sure if they want a relationship with the woman until things progress.
I think this is a decent amount of it. There's plenty of people who are just cruising for casual sex, but on the other hand if you're expecting to fuck by the 3rd date and within about 10 hours of meeting there's gonna be a ton of situations where the match was good enough to get that far but isn't going to work longterm.
Still the broad tragedy of the matter is that the average man could likely solve the online dating woes of the average woman within about 30 minutes if placed into their body by simply adjusting their expectations and being more willing to fight through the Ick. The average woman if placed in to the body of the average unsuccessful male will have to, at bare minimum, go on the normal journey of self improvement in most cases. I had to do it myself a couple years ago, and have the vivid lived experience of going from a 4 as a guy to a 7.5 over the course of a year or two and it's insane how night and day the two experiences are.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
I'd say they'd suck less for the average woman, if they were capable of setting up boundaries.
Prettymuch. The average woman is likely capable of getting into a stable relationship with a pretty good guy from a dating app if they just jiggle their preferences a bit. The average guy has to go on a massive path of self improvement to get attractive enough to then actually start meaningfully 'dating' then can maybe look at dealing with it.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
Also first past the post can hypothetically make it easier for upcoming prospects to slowly rise through the ranks over a series of years/governments and develop their governance abilities, on paper at least. Compared to the US system being prone to fairly left field shakeups every so often
aldomilyar
1mo ago
I live in Malaysia and there's kind of an automatic disgruntlement from the Malays on any opposing ethnic group since they're largely nonproductive. They are very hardline on not giving citizenships though due to prior experience with the Chinese and Indians. Malaysia also better adapted to giving illegal immigrants something to do and relatively low tolerance of violent crime.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
Singapore, Malaysia, Gulf States etc have all managed to keep temporary worker visas under control. It's just difficult under a Western system.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
Enough crypto/defi exploits where you won't necessarily get that great a bounty from whitehat and whilst the money that you'd pull out isn't necessarily 'clean' as you'd want it to be it also isn't necessarily theft to do the exploit.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
Washing that level of wealth is essentially impossible unless you've got Cartel or country-level infrastructure behind you. It's 'dog caught the milk truck' levels of issue for most people. Your most reasonable path would be to use mixers (and have to be third-party decentralized which are more rare than you'd think) and slowly chip it out and hope nobody unscrambles it since you then become a massive target for both the original owners of the funds and interested second parties of various levels of legitimacy and violence.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
Depends how vigorous you are with it. There's plenty of ways of mixing if you take it slow and steady but if you've hit a 9-figure hack you're probably better off just taking the 10% bounty as 'clean money'
aldomilyar
1mo ago
I think this is a bit of an oversimplification as somebody who works in the space, but definitely people outside of the space overexaggerate how easy it is to utilize for those activities.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
Wild speculation but I think accidental incidental pregnancy in the days before birth control plus getting shepherded into the workforce at a younger age probably helped mitigate a fair bit of the natural trend towards assholing. Also prior to women entering the workforce there was more of an impetuous to atleast present a pretense of meekness and agreeability in order to escape the household.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
Yeah or if they are gonna come it's more going to be about solving the dating app metagame than simply hustling on making yourself a productive member of society.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
I've never dealt with online dating, but I always imagined that the "no MAGA" is a blessing in disguise. It outs people as shallow thinkers or deranged partisans and makes it easier to sift them out of the pool. It would be much worse to go on several dates before finding out the truth.
I haven't been on the dating apps in a few years, but you don't get how hard it shuts down potential matches to put conservative on your profile and also how many of those potential matches are actually open to conservative beliefs they just have this strange conception that anybody identifying as conservative on a dating app is literally a Jan 6 attendee.
Though probably the metagame has contributed to a case where since most rational people stopped ticking that box, the boxtickers left are the MAGAest MAGAs who have no tact.
On your second point I'd generally say it's other way. I know plenty of 'good conservative women' who are absent of red flags, but a combination of a fairly conservative (Massive age skews, lack of fresh blood coming into their churches etc) social circle, workplace flirtation not being what it once was and frequently a lack of meaningful experience in courting means they just kinda get stuck in a loop when waiting for prince righteous to sally into their mortal life.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
Yeah I just think a decent chunk of men are gravitating towards this existence. My wife's youngest brother is essentially this in his mid-twenties. Games and maintains a hospitality job, but no interest in further education or really building anything. He's 'productive' in the sense that he covers his own expenses but he just doesn't really have any ambitions beyond a gaming laptop, discord etc. I'm surprised your example's in his 40s, but I know quite a large population of late-teens to early-thirties guys who are essentially this. They're not unhappy, just kinda... dudeist. They're not buying into society since they just can't really be incentivized unless they randomly hit it off with a girl one day (which has been the catalyst of the majority of times I've seen somebody right the course in their mid twenties)
I think the messiness of modern dating might be part of it, since IMO a large part of what drives low-motivation men beyond this local minimum is either attempting to get laid or the pressures of a significant other.
aldomilyar
1mo ago
I've met a few examples of this of his age, and a lot more in mid-twenties to early-thirties. Doing just enough to sustain one's gaming in a bottom-tier job and that's essentially it. Not even Hikkimori or obese anti-socials, just... bare-minimum minimum-wage work and gaming or another hobby like Bouldering or Jiujitsu.
aldomilyar
2mo ago
As a parent, my concern is that the contagion isn't strictly limited to households and parents that are encouraging of it. Widespread encouragement of what's quasi-suicide that could impact my kids is something that I find very distasteful, even if I agree most incidences will be in people who are generally my ideological adversaries.
aldomilyar
2mo ago
There were about 40,000 lobotomies ever in the United States over the course of decades and there are about 1.5 million Trans people in the United states. Even if only 10% of them are pursuing surgical correction/puberty blockers, that doesn't really line up. Lobotomies were likely more damaging case-by-case, but a 30%~ suicide rate indicates that there is no particular happiness coming from gender confirmation.
aldomilyar
2mo ago
This is a gigantic own goal that's more likely to be seen as akin to lobotomies 50 years down the line than anything else. It's close to unprecedented in human history to issue major invasive surgeries which barely even impact the longterm suicidal incidence and just shrug and call it self-expression
aldomilyar
2mo ago
Yeah but the issue with transgenderism is that 'gender dysphoria' is the phenomenon that can actually be described, everything else is conjecture and preferred ways of treating that issue based on differing ideologies.
aldomilyar
2mo ago
You do get a pretty big exposure boost for the first 24 hours on a fresh account
aldomilyar
2mo ago
Yes but the vast majority of women are not proactive in approaching in person, so if men are unwilling to be the first to initiate interest that's going to have a large impact on the amount of inperson relationships being kindled.
aldomilyar
2mo ago
Oh I'm married and with child now, having finally struck gold with the 60th but I did a ton of field anthropology along the way.
I live in a majorish metro, managed to work my way up from a 5/10 to like a 7/10 through weight loss + trial & error and essentially didn't turn down a first date with anybody who was open to get a coffee and not obviously a hard no.
aldomilyar
2mo ago
Right to spousal support started because, in the ideal world of "women do not work outside the home", once divorced a woman had little to no chance of income of her own. If you threw her out for a newer model, it was considered only fair to save her from ending up on the streets until she got a job or married again.
"The idle parent" shows your lack of comprehension of how a household works.
Yeah but the game has changed on both fronts. Incomes are more equitable between genders, and whilst domestic duties are still difficult the average Divorcee isn't an Irish Catholic Mother of 14 that needs to wash and darn the socks by hand. I think there's a potential middleground between the two approaches in which it is possible to acknowledge marriage as a partnership, whilst still feeling that divorce settlements far, far, far beyond the amount it'd take to literally retire and have a comfortable rest of life are a bit outlandish.
aldomilyar
2mo ago
I remember a few years ago that putting 'conservative' on your Hinge Profile was literally a death knell for matches.
aldomilyar
2mo ago
Bars and clubs have kind of died as a place for 'average people to unwind', especially past University age. There's simply too much competition from other entertainment mediums, atleast in my experience. A certain subset of extroverted nightlife enjoyooors rotate around between eachother visibly, but as a subset of the population I believe it's smaller than it has been historically.
Yeah. Simultaneously it can be hard to exactly explain gravity due to nested complexity in the real world, regardless of improved sensory equipment and yet still practical to assume that we're not gonna wake up tomorrow morning and fall into the sky.
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