gafpromise
28d ago
I appreciate this post as it aligns with some of my own experience. I grew up in a Christian household so I also adopted a Christian-ese framing regarding some of my mental health issues. I had crippling depression and anxiety and low self esteem. I constantly had this voice in my head saying I wasn't worthy, I was a failure, everything I did was wrong, everyone was secretly laughing at me, yadda-yadda. I mean it was nonstop. I was mired in this sticky fog of self-hate and doubt that I couldn't see past and it was making me suicidal.
Looking back on it now, I have some thoughts about where all that stuff came from. But at the time, the way that I got out of it was when I started thinking of it as the Devil's voice or a demon's voice. Well, from what I read in the Bible I should be able to have power over demons. There's this old movie Labyrinth I watched as a kid, and the protagonist gives her speech against the goblin king at the end and she says "You have no power over me." A lot of people think it's cheesy, I guess, but it was exactly like that for me. Giving that voice a name, an identity that was NOT myself, and calling it out and saying, "you are not welcome here" - that was a real turning point for me. I developed my "real" internal voice, someone who could argue against the demon voice, mock it even, provide a counterpoint to the hateful things it said. And eventually I was able to banish it. I mean, of course I still have self-doubt and low points but it's never crippling or oppressive the way it used to be.
I don't think honestly that my experience is all that uncommon either. I've heard other reports from people who give that "evil" voice a name and personify it. Not necessarily with the demon framing, but I think it's just a way to split off that stuff from your core identity, give you a way to grapple with it while building an intact self apart from it.
gafpromise
1mo ago
I would push back on therapy being grouped with the other things. Therapy, broadly speaking, covers an extreme range of practices and modalities. I mean sure, if you're going to stick with DSM-V definitions (which insurance surely requires), those are meant to be more clinical and cleanly defined. This is dysfunctional; that isn't dysfunctional.
But people seek therapy for lots of reasons. Do you consider a life coach a therapist? How about someone to help you get over your fear of public speaking or someone to help you better organize tasks? I'd wager just about everyone has something they wish they were better at, some lack that they feel in their life. It can be hard to match up someone with the right therapist, the right intervention, but when it's successful it's absolutely worth seeking out.
So yes, I would bite the bullet and say that absolutely everyone could benefit from therapy, in the sense that we need someone outside ourselves to encourage, validate, motivate us and point to helpful tools and resources. For many people this is religion. For many people this need can be filled by a close network of friends or family. Those people have a natural, organic source that meets this need, but many other people do not. The need for validation and accountability is nevertheless, I would say, nearly universal.
gafpromise
1mo ago
Not OP but I dug up a single article on MSN - seems like an initiative in the UK designed for men and then in this one local community (chapter?) they decided to admit women. The article is very short on detail about who pushed it through, how much pushback there was, etc. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/we-put-the-pressure-on-to-join-men-in-sheds/ar-AA1Dmt17?ocid=BingNewsVerp
gafpromise
1mo ago
I too am bemused at kids being exposed to drag, it puts me in the same weird headspace as Las Vegas. (Caveat: I'm aware actual people with families live and work in Las Vegas, but I'm talking about the touristy stuff). It always struck me as quite odd that Las Vegas at least in its marketing, had tried to clean up their act and put on a family friendly sort of facade. You can search for family friendly attractions and find official Vegas tourism guides that just pitch Vegas as a fun spot for the whole family. I am still astonished at how many corporations think Vegas is an excellent place to hold their trade shows - and then are somehow caught off guard when the HR reports of inappropriate behavior start piling up.
The thing is, when you are actually there on the Strip, the "family friendly" facade is paper thin. The smell of weed is everywhere. Aside from the many scantily clad costumed characters you'll see roaming around in broad daylight, the many leaflets for various erotic shows, it's common to see tourists themselves cutting loose because, hey, it's Vegas baby!
I went for work events three or four years in a row, and my boss always looked for some attraction or some show we could see for a night out. And no matter how family friendly it was billed (of course the explicit stuff would have been way off limits because work function) I left afterwards wondering if I needed to make a report to HR. There was one occasion where we ventured off the Strip - that was a big mistake. I don't know the name of where we ended up but it was highly awkward to be there with my coworkers, let me tell you.
Drag shows hit me in a similar way. Like it's so clearly designed with particular content for an adult audience. The fact that this one person wants to tone down their act this one time and read little kids a book does not to me, take away from the fact that this is fundamentally an adult-oriented performance art, made for adult consumption. I am absolutely baffled why people want to sanitize it and pretend it's something other than what it is.
gafpromise
2mo ago
Aaand we've got another poster deleting their top-level and comments - same person as before?
gafpromise
2mo ago
Do you like urban fantasy? They're not completed but The Dresden Files are a fun time.
Codex Alera is completed, 6 books - that's a more traditional fantasy from the same author. I don't know about any ideological axes to grind in that one. In fact the political elements are interesting if a bit muddled because the "evil side" is clearly making some good points and the "good side" has failed the citizenry in various ways. But that tends to be more in the background as the main story follows the traditional "peasant has to level up and become a hero" saga.
gafpromise
3mo ago
I didn't care for the character of Bean as a protagonist. He just didn't work for me and I didn't connect to him at all. It was a shame because I actually liked the idea of exploring the geopolitical situation on Earth. But rewriting Bean like that, besides the deficiencies in his character, really ret-conned Ender's Game, and not in a good way.
But if you never continued on to Speaker of the Dead, etc., I do recommend giving it a shot. SotD and its followups go in a very different direction from Ender's Game but really introduce some fascinating ideas about contact between alien species, different modes of consciousness, that kind of thing. And they have one of my favorite Christian characters in fiction, FWIW.
gafpromise
5mo ago
Can you help me find new direction in 2025? I’m feeling a little lost in my career currently – US based. My core issue at bottom is that I never really developed a passion for anything. Broadly, I’ve been in “administrative” roles for 20+ years. As you can imagine, it hasn’t been super lucrative. I’ve never had much drive or ambition, but I do need to start thinking long term and how I can earn sufficient income to pay all my bills. (Full disclosure: bills include a somewhat pricey private school for my kid. I understand that choice has financial consequences. I’m not open to changing my mind about it. I’m doing a side gig as supplemental income but I can only manage about 10 hours/week.)
I was at a nonprofit a couple of years right out of college and then moved into a commercial real estate firm where I stayed for 15 years. The interesting thing about “administrative” roles is that you get to wear all the hats. At the real estate company I dipped into marketing and took a few graphic design courses. I liked that okay except I really am not that creative. I can execute others’ ideas but I’m lousy at coming up with my own.
I could have parlayed my real estate experience into a better opportunity. But when COVID hit I was unemployed for almost two years before taking an administrative role at another nonprofit because I was happy to get anything. Part of my “marketing” role at the real estate firm included helping set up trade shows, so I got a bit into operations and logistics, and I played up those skills to get the nonprofit gig. Here I do about half operational (supply ordering, workstation setup, equipment inventory), half HR-adjacent functions, and a sprinkling of IT support. (I got halfway to a COMPTIA A+ cert before I gave up.)
Where I’m at now is working for me in a lot of ways, including the flexibility which is a godsend as a single parent. But that’s not going to be quite so important in another year or two. As you can imagine the role doesn’t pay very well and not much chance for advancement. So let’s consider my options from least to most likely:
Web/graphic design: I don’t see myself pursuing it as I’ve let the skills get quite stale and my web design knowledge is 10 years old or more, and anyway isn’t AI going to take all those jobs?
Real estate: eh, I was never passionate about it at all, just something I fell into. Unless I wanted to become licensed or throw myself into Autocad maybe, I just don’t see it. And I’d have to explain the now 5-year break from it I’ve had.
IT: I actually do enjoy the helpdesk stuff I’ve been able to do, but I think I’m in the absolute perfect setup for it right now. The company environment means I’m not getting yelled at by end users and having to chase people down for payment, but there’s also no expectation of certain metrics/reporting or CSR scripts. And my knowledge would have to get a lot deeper if I wanted to find somewhere else.
And here is really where I’m torn:
Operations/logistics: from what I can tell I’m quite good at it. I have a head for details and patience for working through bureaucracy to get permits signed, make sure insurance is in line, all the tricky things that “idea people” don’t understand what it takes to actually execute on something. But where’s the advancement? Either I guess I supervise other people (which I’ve never done) or I help manage a larger site (10x the headaches). Only major drawback I can think of is if I get called in the middle of the night because a water main broke, or I have to be up at 5am to supervise an arriving shipment or something.
Human Resources: my current role is about 50% HR-Adjacent and it feels like it could be a good move. My HR experience is zero but I can take some independent courses at very discounted prices to bolster the educational side. But is this role susceptible to AI, or ideological capture? The ideological capture thing doesn’t concern me too much. One, I’d be more on the process side probably, and two, you can feel out organizations and get a sense for how much they buy in on the DEI-verse. One significant drawback is that it’s unclear if I’d be able to make the move internally (for funding reasons, not doubts about my ability). But an outside organization would be underwhelmed with my HR experience without having the title and education to show for it.
Either role probably gets pinned down by metrics and rigid processes more than I’d like. I like having the flexibility and autonomy to make decisions and propose common sense solutions as I see fit.
I mentioned education a bit ago. I find myself strangely excited to take HR courses. It’s an ideal subject for independent learning. I can’t imagine any operations-related courses that wouldn’t instantly make me zone out. Purchasing 101? Greening your building?
At one point I would have been interested in going further in IT. I’ve found it an incredibly difficult subject to learn independently because (1) you have to be motivated to do the hands-on work, and (2) having teachers/mentors/peers to ask questions to is incredibly valuable. Plus you need constant continuing education because it all changes so fast. To do it right costs money and time investment that I just don’t have right now.
And by the way, I do understand how HR is viewed in some circles. I’m not really interested in hearing about it. Fundamentally, I think a person of integrity in the right HR role performs a valuable and ethical function – i.e. one which businesses are willing to pay for.
gafpromise
6mo ago
Hi, just wondering if anyone here can jog my memory or help me find a reference for this. I remember hearing the idea once about how to the generalized masses, both an apex hero and a super-villian are both appealing. Maybe the analogy was explicitly between God and Satan? Regardless of ethics, both the hero and the villain have influence and power far beyond what average Joe could ever hope to achieve. So without considering moral consequences, they are equally likely to worship both. It sounds a bit like an idea I could have read in Terry Pratchett but it also sounds like an idea I would have come across in rationalist spaces. Does this sound familiar to anyone and could you link to a resource that discusses it in more detail?
gafpromise
8mo ago
Figured this is a good place to ask about "AI". I'm putting that in quotes because a lot of things that are called AI aren't actually. But here I'm referring to any tools that are marketed as AI. Let's put this out there first, I don't trust AI. I don't trust it with my personal data, I don't trust it to get things right, I'm annoyed with how ubiquitous it's becoming in online articles and internet comments. I think a lot of companies are way over-hyping their products.
And yet at my workplace, there was a webinar called "how can AI work for you". And there's this whole lineup of self-described experts in the industry trying to sell it as a productivity tool - like actual, reputable sources. So I'm thinking, I'm 100% a Luddite, I've never been an early adopter, but maybe I should be taking it seriously.
Yet despite all the breathless copy about how AI can do absolutely anything, I've found actual, tangible examples thin on the ground. So I thought I'd ask the Mottizens - are you using AI and how? Has it made your workflow better? Give me your success stories!
If it helps, we can say I'm in facilities management. So I do scheduling, purchasing, administrative stuff, light tech support, process write-ups, document management, and I have a stuffed tasklist of both recurring things and current one-time projects I'm working on.
gafpromise
11mo ago
I have had similar thoughts re the timing of this debate. Why have it so early? It is very unusual and it seems like the only reason I can think of is so that people can point to either candidate in a public forum and say, see, this guy can't cut it and here's the evidence. It doesn't seem like either of them come off well.
That's quite the assumption to just throw in there, just saying. You have presented zero proof that illegal immigrants make up a large number of hazardous DoorDashers on ebikes.
Honestly it sounds like the problem is that from a regulatory standpoint, ebikes and motorized two-wheeled vehicles are being lumped in with bicycles rather than being regulated as a separate thing.
More options
Context Copy link