janeerie
Normie quokka
User ID: 713
janeerie
1yr ago
I feel the same way - there is a truly amazing experience that happens when you're in the middle of all those voices and getting in harmony with them. One thing that turns me off about choirs, though, is that often the directors like to do "difficult" music. I just want to sing, not struggle with my sight-reading skills.
janeerie
1yr ago
Agreed. Also, top level comments should not have the collapse bar on the left (we already have the expand/collapse icon). It's very difficult right now to find the beginning of new topics.
janeerie
1yr ago
In the US, the Episcopalian (Anglican) Church does a good job of this. It probably depends on the particular church though.
I'm pretty sure I remember reading about this study in Emily Oster's book, Cribsheet. I especially recall "Arthur" being called out for having this dynamic.
janeerie
1yr ago
Outside of the rat sphere there isn't really anti-natalism, but plenty of apathy around the idea of having children. I have many friends who just never got around to it (I was almost one of them), and I do worry about their future regrets.
janeerie
1yr ago
I recently finished The Three-Body Problem and was left with a feeling of general annoyance. I'm fine with trilogies, but don't end a book just hanging in the middle of the story. You have to have some kind of mini arc! I read the plots of the second and third books on Wikipedia, and I think I'm done there.
Then I picked up Pnin by Nabokov. His writing tickles my brain in just the right way and makes me so happy.
janeerie
1yr ago
I read it after seeing tons of rave reviews, so you're clearly not alone! It just didn't resonate with me somehow. However, I did really enjoy the parts inside the game, and learning about a period of Chinese history that I am pretty ignorant about.
janeerie
1yr ago
I'm pretty much in the same spot as your wife, and I still consider myself a liberal. I am also married to a conservative. He was a Romney-type conservative when we married, and has shifted right alongside the Republican party. It is difficult at times (especially during election years), but we are both very committed to the marriage.
That said, we are still aligned on basic values of how to live and raise our child. We try to tune out the political noise as much as possible and don't bring it up inside the house. This approach works well for us.
janeerie
1yr ago
I feel like there needs to be some kind of community for people in mixed-politics marriages. It seems we are a dying breed!
janeerie
1yr ago
As one of the last print newspaper subscribers, I've actually been really enjoying this story line (even though I disagree strongly with most of Adams' politics). I have wondered, though, how many readers know what the hell he's talking about. ESG is a pretty niche topic.
janeerie
1yr ago
It seems like something the wonks have an interest in, but I don't see it in the general discourse. I would be surprised if my non-terminally-online family members or neighbors had a clue what it meant. I could be wrong though!
janeerie
1yr ago
Online therapy services (like BetterHelp) are basically mental health fast food. I tried one because it was so convenient and cheap, and I quickly realized that my therapist was unlikely to tell me anything that had not already occurred to me.
I finally found a psych professor at the local university who sees a few patients on the side (I basically had to audition to get accepted). It's pretty damn expensive, but I'm getting much more out of it. I guess it's good that the fast food option exists for those who can't afford anything else, but I wonder how much people are getting out of it.
janeerie
1yr ago
I’ve heard Better Help is particularly bad. Can you say more about what went wrong in your experience?
There really needs to be an easier way to access therapy, but these services are not hitting the mark. There’s also a part of me that wonders if the problem is just that most therapists aren’t very good.
janeerie
1yr ago
Yes, I am very curious what the steelman argument is against such a practice. The speaker in their link seemed to be against surrogacy in general, so maybe that is the issue? Is it ok for two lesbians to have a baby?
janeerie
1yr ago
I'm not really sure what boobs have to do with anything, but yes, it's entirely consistent to be pro-choice and pro-surrogacy since both stances allow women to choose what to do with their bodies.
It sounds like your objection is the exchange of money for these services (assuming you think adoption is ok)? This seems similar to the objection many have to allowing people to sell their organs. It's an intuition I personally can't relate to, but there are legitimate arguments about the ethics of the practice.
janeerie
1yr ago
According to the latest ACX post, a QAnon-type newsletter is the top Substack in the "International" section.
I'd say "official" QAnon folks are pretty rare, but the ideas from that community have definitely gained a strong footing in US conservative circles. You won't find "X genuinely believes that elites blend up babies into smoothies," but you will find a lot of "X genuinely believes media and (liberal) political elites harbor a large number of pedophiles who are trafficking children."
janeerie
1yr ago
The first time I tried it, I gave up about 30 pages in. The second time, I decided it was one of the greatest things I've ever read. It's worth sticking with it!
janeerie
1yr ago
This might vary depending on how much you generally identify with characters in movies/shows. I get really immersed when watching something, and that immersion gets stronger for characters who I feel similarity to. For example, if I'm watching a show where a woman is fighting, I feel it in my body. Watching a show where men are fighting, I'm just an observer.
The experience is just fundamentally different for me, aside from any political/societal concerns.
janeerie
1yr ago
I do recall people complaining about Tom Cruise playing Jack Reacher in the movie, since the character is supposed to be a behemoth and Tom Cruise is more... petite. There was much celebration when the character in the TV show was played by a big guy.
I am curious if the strict gender norms you mention for eastern societies are worse for women with children vs. women without (my suspicion is that they are). This would seem to present a real disincentive to having children.
In societies with more equal/flexible gender roles, there is less of a loss to a woman's status and freedom when she has children, which makes it more attractive. Now just imagine if men and women bore equal responsibility for child-bearing!
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