jimm
10d ago
You can talk about the mechanics, and women will take an interest, but you still have to make the dish. Make the dish, and these problems go away.
jimm
10d ago
The key phrase is “put up with”, there’s still a limit on what people will tolerate.
It depends. If she respects you enough, and your politics aren't retarded, then it doesn't actually cost you anything.
There's a difference between "I'll put up with his stupid beliefs because he's hot" and "I'm willing to listen to this guy because I take him more seriously than I take myself... and he's kinda got a point".
You're trying to eat your cake and have it too.
If there's no real reason to be suspicious and it's just "I'm supposed to do this anyway", then the wife would be wrong to take it as meaningful distrust, and shouldn't.
If there is real reason to be suspicious, then he definitely should be asking, and she would be in the wrong to take offense at the possibility which by hypothetical is realistic.
Not all wives are like you, by the way. I didn't ask for a paternity test and don't snoop on my wife's phone, but this is directly related to the fact that she wouldn't object if I did. Likewise, my wife wouldn't ask me to take the fidelity test, and this is directly related to the fact that I'd happily take it to ease her concerns.
Sure, I'd be a bit concerned that she felt a need to ask in the first place, but the next step for individuals worthy of the trust is "Of course I'll help you verify, and you absolutely have the right to expect verification".
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