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This is what the "cleaned up" incels say. Because they understand that alternate stories aren't favorable so they make sure to frame their needs in a way that's quite palatable to a feminist society: it's all about companionship and so on.
Instead of admitting that the stronger male sex drive is its own incentive. Not the only incentive. But to deny that it plays a role...I don't find credible for neurotypical men.
It's like how no liberal Muslim with a hijab who makes it on TV ever uses the explicit Islamic justification for it (women should be covered in order to avoid sexual harassment) because it's obviously disfavored by liberals. So they make sure to couch it in the language of freedom that liberals do like. Liberals return the favor by credulous repeating their apologetics and carefully not looking at the elements of Islam that may be..."problematic" - same thing happening with incels now.
As a member of that "loser" demographic, I am 100% skeptical and won't take them at their word. Men who suck at dealing with women are more likely to be socially inept and anxious and thus unwilling to take even the minor risk to sleep with prostitutes, let alone seriously pursue casual sex. That doesn't mean that they don't want sex for its own sake. They just know it won't happen. So slave morality mandates some virtuous-sounding justification
That's all I think is at play, besides pandering.
As Bill Burr put it: there's nothing special about Tiger Woods (if anything many celebrities are surprisingly restrained). A random guy (incel in this case) at Home Depot has the same desire for casual sex. But he has no opportunity cause he's low status.
I mean, I've seen Republicans playing to the tenets of progressive morality (e.g. attacking affirmative action by claiming that affirmative action harms Asians - supposedly a "racialized"' group and therefore a sign of liberal hypocrisy)
This stuff seeps in.
Especially in this case: I don't think the idea that wanting romance and companionship is better than just sex is really even reducible to a "progressive" faction. The media pushes it through things like the soulmate story and, honestly, it will probably be preferred by actual traditionalists and not nihilist tradcath larpers.
The other problem is that "incel" conveniently means whatever people want - is it an actual coherent ideology or a demographic? Depends on whether you want to beat on incels or not. Obviously there are hardcore reactionary types who've gone into deep, weird rabbit holes that have nothing to do with the center in their country . Plenty don't really change their minds on the feminist ideology and their base assumptions (I guess you could call it the "blue pill"), even if feminists insist on treating them as an irritant or danger.
And, as I said, the ready-for-TV incels are selected because they say the right things. But, just as liberal Muslims on TV will never talk to you about the wife-beating verse in the Qur'an, the calls to imperialism and subjugation of the infidels when they insist Islam is great, the Good Incel will stick to the talking points. Both groups really do believe what they're saying and there might even be truth in it. But it's not the whole story.
That's what happened in my case - just too much anxiety, too much hassle since it was illegal. I've also seen some shit from incels that basically seems like socially anxious rationalization, as someone who would know it from the inside (e.g. when someone who's looking at middle age is giving hundreds of excuses and conjuring catastrophic worst-case scenarios - like, dude, you don't think you're in a worst case scenario? You're already this anxious, with no experience to counteract it, what do you think is going to happen if you miraculously actually find a similar aged woman? )
So, as I said, I simply don't take them at their word.
It isn't just about sex. Like I said elsewhere: the loss of social standing and companionship correlated with inceldom (especially of the "small friend group" variety as opposed to the "otherwise great and highly sociable guy but couldn't make it for some reason' type*) is very bad.
I just think the Standard Incel Talking Point - like the Standard "Islam is a Religion of Peace" one** - was picked to make incels sympathetic, but it does so by essentially reframing male sexuality into something considered more appropriate, just as the Islam one insists on reframing Islam to look more like Christianity.
* Especially when young, this type is less likely to stay in the camp.
** It's complicated but it has different views on that than the Christian New Testament does, that's for sure.
Yeah, tbh, while I may appear particularly hostile to incels themselves I'm not. Just as I'm not hostile to the liberal Muslim on TV. I just know to treat her with a grain of salt instead of as the avatar of the movement.
I know her talking points, I've heard them a billion times. I know when she says "that's not even in the Qur'an" that whether or not it's even true is besides the point, which is pandering to Western Protestant sensibilities.
I'm annoyed precisely by the fact that you can't discuss this issue without parroting acceptable talking points (not only on this; many male issues need to be put through the feminist lens) which imo lessens the chances of getting anywhere since the ideology is just not for men. It annoys me in a whole host of fields besides incels tbh.
Why do I insist on emphasizing sex? Obviously, being lonely is also devastating. There's the added danger of not having a safety net.
Well, because I suspect that a significant incentive to imagine that the (stronger) male desire for sex partners and the concomitant disappointment is (besides applying feminist theory to the wrong sex) simply so progressives can return to their naive Rousseauism on sex: everything that is bad is due to society and will get sorted out when
The Messiahthe patriarchy is smashed and we've socially engineered all toxic masculinity (which may include being resentful at failing at basic evolutionary imperatives...).Which to me is a convenient non-solution that sounds just virtuous but allows one to change nothing indefinitely.
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