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Notes -
I think I feel the same frustration - at some point I think I internalized some voice which says that I am obligated to do the optimal thing in every situation to accomplish whatever goals I have set for myself. I thrive when I have the ability to work hard at something which will bring about some good thing I care about in the world - but if hard work is not the best way to accomplish that thing, the little voice in my head says I have to take the shorter path instead. And so when I see evidence that the way to accomplish things is to grift or fake or even just do shoddy work, I feel bad about it and come to resent that source of evidence.
Is that similar to what you experience, or does your dislike of "grifting" stem from something else?
Yes, that does sound somewhat relatable to me. I'm not sure I resonate with the idea of my actions being "optimal," though, so much as... meaningful, I guess? I try to act when I have good reason to act, rather than just signaling my virtues. But I think maybe many people, maybe most people, exist primarily (if never quite wholly) in a support network of sending and receiving signals. As someone who is quintessentially "bad with people" it seems like that option is not open to me. I have to get by on competence--or at least I imagine it must be so. This does not appear to be true of others. It might be easier for me to accept this if those others were not so frequently active hindrances to my own projects.
I recognize that this is to some extent just the human condition.
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