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PaperclipPerfector  4mo ago (text post)   3416 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for July 6, 2025

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

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Even if that take is outdated, liking anime and video games isn't something that women are going to find attractive. It's neutral at best, and you don't want to waste your limited real estate conveying information that isn't going to move the needle in your favor. A lot of guys make profiles that seem tailored toward impressing other guys, but girls do the same thing as well. I guess the female equivalent would be mentioning that they like reality TV. What guy is going to find a girl more attractive after learning that she's really into Real Housewives? It isn't something most guys are going to look forward to watching together, it doesn't make her seem more interesting, and it may give the impression that she's kind of stupid.

Even if that take is outdated, liking anime and video games isn't something that women are going to find attractive.

As stated by @MathWizard up there, if you want someone with similar interests to you, you gotta put it out there somehow.

And as per usual, if you're hot, you could straight up say you're into lolicon and hentai and you'd still get likes.

So are you optimizing for hookups, or something resembling a soulmate?

In the grand scheme, its probably not changing your odds much in aggregate, but somewhat increasing the chances of finding someone who likes what you like.

You don't have to have the same interests as your soulmate. You have to get along and cooperate on tasks and share values.

The happiest couples are ones who know when they bore each other to tears, not ones who never have to worry about it. Because the latter are imaginary.

You'd like to find one that doesn't find your interests repugnant, though.

And again, why optimize to compete for the same limited pool of women that every other guy is now optimizing for.

Because there are way more of them, and other guys aren't optimizing for them. The number of guys with shitty profiles is mind blowing. So is the number of girls with shitty profiles, but if they don't set their sights too high someone halfway decent will message them. Guys don't have that luxury.

The simple fact is that there's like a 2:1 guy:girl ratio on the apps.

And the girls are much, MUCH more selective than the guys.

So the pool of women being limited is, inherently, the issue. Some guys will lose, guaranteed. Its not a traditional market where you can achieve mutual gains through trade.

And in a zero sum game, optimizing to try to win just makes it harder on everyone at once.

And it IS a zero sum game. Every guy that pairs off with a woman is making it harder for the remaining guys to get what they want.

So telling guys to optimize their profiles is just increasing the competitive pressure with very minimal change in success odds. Improving YOUR chances makes some other guy's chances decrease, and vice versa. If you both compete as hard as you can, most of the efforts are wasted for no real gain.

It's not about hookups vs. soulmate. It's about whether or not you expect a soulmate to have certain interests. If the answer is yes, you only want to be with someone who likes anime as much as you do and is attracted to guys who like anime, then I agree that you would have to put it out there. But that's not the way it is with most things or people. Just look at how much attention to sports men pay vs. women. Or woodworking. Or hunting. Or any number of other hobbies or interests. You can't expect your romantic partner to have 100% of the same interests you do, and most married couple I know aren't like that, right down to my parents. So yes, it's possible that you can be really into anime and have a girl who knows nothing about it and rolls her eyes at the idea of it and still have a successful relationship.

Indeed, once you clear the dozen other hurdles and expectations she'll have too.

I'm just pointing out that if you optimize for the 'wrong' thing, you could end up in a local maxima that gets you more likes in general, but actually filters out the women you'd really be happy to have.

And hey, if you get one and have to 'settle' a bit, its not so bad.

But if EVERYONE is optimizing for the same set of things, and the pool of women is fixed, you're really just creating a zero sum game that means you can get nothing at all despite (because of?) giving up on the things you really like.

I repeat, the pool of women is mostly fixed, so why do you want to optimize for the same thing every other guy is optimizing for?

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