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Meh. If someone's so thin-skinned that their response to "you don't know the context" is a passive aggressive "sorry to disturb you I'm leaving and never coming back" instead of lurking more and/or digging through to find context, or at bare minimum shrugging off the critique and ignoring it, then they're probably not a good fit anyway.
I don't think threats to leave, from new people, or old people, or in real life, should be met with begging "no please stay." That sets a bad precedent. As a matter of principle I think you call the bluff and either they stay or they leave and it's a win-win either way.
If someone’s leaving because “I didn’t know people would get so angry when I asked them questions” then it’s possible that they could acclimate after getting used to the general tone of discussion here.
If someone’s leaving because “I didn’t know racism was allowed here” I would tell them to not let the door hit them on the way out.
It's not the initial cause that rubs me the wrong way, it's the response. If someone's response to any scenario is to passive aggressively threaten to leave then I would tell them to not let the door hit them on the way out.
If, after having read a decent sampling of the overall posts here, you feel that this is a good place but one guy is kind of a jerk to you once, then argue back or just ignore him. There's no need to try to guilt trip the rest of us into apologizing on his behalf or berating him or begging you to stay. If it's actually something outrageous and bannable, report it and wait for the mods. If not, ignore it and engage with the rest of the community. Don't let yourself get One-Guyed.
If, after having read a decent sampling of the overall posts here, you feel that the overall culture is not to your taste then just leave. You don't need to threaten it, and if you're brand new then you don't need to announce it. Nobody will notice or care. Don't try to guilt people into feeling bad that they could have had one more person if we were a completely different kind of place that catered to that one person's tastes.
If, after reading one message by one person, you assume that the overall culture is not to your taste based on that one experience then either lurk more or leave if you can't be bothered to do that.
I'm all for making this an open and welcoming place that lets people come here and engage with ideas and discussions. But (and I've made similar arguments about this in regard to dating profiles) negative filters aren't automatically a bad thing. Our goal is not to maximize the total number of people, but to optimize some balance between quantity and quality. Which means when someone sees this place and decides "this isn't for me" and leaves that's actually a good thing for us because we don't want people here who don't like what we are. Within reason, of course, we're not tautologically perfect and having more people would probably be better. But I'm not going to complain if some people self-select themselves out for petty reasons, that just means they were petty people and we don't need to stoop down to cater to that in order to retain them even if it succeeded at retaining them.
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