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Notes -
I made the statement:
To be clear, I agree with none of these statements:
I think it would help for you to understand where I'm coming from:
My family is upper-middle class; my father was the breadwinner and my mother was, theoretically, a stay-at-home wife. They did not get on.
In practice, my father had been poor before he married and he worked like a dog somewhere between 10 and 15 hours a day for decades to keep the family afloat and to keep my mother in the style she was accustomed to. My mother then spent that money on cleaners, gardeners and a nanny plus jewelry cars etc. She cooked (but not for my father out of principle), cleaned compulsively (this was not a benefit of marriage, we begged her to stop), took care of us on the two days the nanny was on holiday, and watched soap operas.
My father is now in his dotage; my mother owns both houses, both cars and half my father's pension, while he lives in a rented apartment on what's left. He has adopted the practice of just giving her anything she might want up front because everyone knows in the event of a divorce she would be sweet-talked by a charming firm of lawyers with an ampersand in the name and both of them would end up with peanuts.
Can you see why I'm a little dubious of the idea that if you marry someone, credit for your achievements should be always and automatically be spread equally?
Of course this is only an anecdote and I don't intend it to be applied to all relationships. I am sure that there are a lot of traditional couples who have a much more equitable relationship with a more even share of responsibility. I do note however that:
Like a typical feminist. U/hereandgone leaves the discussion once she has given her talking points. She has nothing once any counter arguments are made. She will spout the same talking points with perfect amnesia once the topic gets brought up again.
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