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naraburns  nihil supernum  1yr ago (text post)   1980 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for January 11, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

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I'm thinking more and more I want a tribe, but as a grown-ass adult, everyone seems so atomized, I don't know where to look.

What I mean by a tribe is: a group of people with common identity who meet over and over again non-competitively to accomplish a shared goal. Traditionally, this would be foraging food, but we obviously don't do that anymore. Defecting from a tribal group ranges from forbidden to frowned on. I think this type of group is ideal for human, or at least my, happiness.

Examples that persist in modern society:

  • Military units

  • Musical bands / performance arts troupes

  • School classes, especially if there are collaborative projects

  • Sports teams

  • Creative development teams (eg indie games studios)

  • Informal groups of neighbor parents who take care of each other kids. This lasts while the kids are still young.

  • Advocacy groups and volunteer groups.... sometimes. The ones I've been in don't feel like tribes because there's no shared rituals or pressure about backing out.

  • Church.... sometimes.

  • Work, but very rarely. For the most part everyone is gaming work for maximum personal gain, and are competing with their coworkers for resources, so it's not a tribe.

Am I mising any? Are there ways to predict which volunteer groups, churches, and working environments will be tribal rather than atomistic?

This sort of commune style living situation has always interested me, but I honestly think I don’t have the social chops to make such a thing work for me. Did it feel like there was any sort of hierarchy within your commune? Was there anyone who seemed/felt like an outcast? I suppose the interview process would take care of that sort of thing, but I am curious. I could see this being one helluva good time if everyone was on the same social status playing field. I also start to really get annoyed by people (even good friends) within a day or so, so that would also be an issue for me.

Thanks for the idea. That does get my blood flowing.

I suspect in the end @naraburns is correct that I'm pining for a family, but I feel I need some kind of... something to tide me over while that's in the hopper.

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