The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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It is a rather small consultancy and I'm client-facing, so I suppose there is some razzle-dazzle expected. I am trying very hard to move to a larger org where I can just do the work and not have to put on a show, as much as I like the variety that consultant work offers. But there seems to be a bias against agency folks in the market right now, so it's slow going.
My experience is if you're client facing, every role has both sales and customer service tacked on even if your actual position is something else so it could be something there.
It might be worth asking if she will confirm whether it is feedback from a client, if so that might at least tell you where the razzle dazzle needs to be directed.
Likewise trying to clarify if they mean over text (Teams/Slack or whatever) or by voice/facial expression might be helpful. Or if you have a colleague you trust you could try asking. Maybe only one that you hang out with at weekends so to speak.
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Yes, unless the boss has received some feedback or has practical concerns that they're being diplomatic about this just amounts to "I don't like your personality, change it", but more ominous due to the power differential.
The only advice I can think of is to ask around and see if there's any complaints about your demeanor or some way it could have had an impact on actual work in a way that could have gotten back to her. Hopefully there is some constructive feedback here and you're not just trapped beneath a weirdo.
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