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PaperclipPerfector  2d ago (text post)   1892 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for November 9, 2025

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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I think you already know what you need to do. You need to have a fully open discussion about how to move forwards, that includes financial limits, but also logistical/emotional/medical limits and how far the both of you are willing to compromise to move forward, with neither side holding back anything that they'd be willing to do in hope that the other will compromise before they have to. If you're not able to find any overlap, then it's probably time to call it, but otherwise, you'll need to negociate a fair point within that overlap.

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A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

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