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Is it? Maybe it is. I wouldn't react well, to be sure. I think in Japan, while marriage is certainly valued (my mother-in-law said to me 浮気したらだめでしょ the night I had proposed to her daugther. This means basically "Don't cheat on her.") at the same time the true fuckup is not the tryst with a hostess or whoever, but making it public, or bringing knowledge of this into the household. The disruption of the wa That's the dealbreaker. That's when you bring shame down on everyone.
Even then, if the mistress is employed as part of her job to woo the man (as in a hostess) in Japan this is not grounds for divorce for the woman--or at least the wife cannot receive monetary damages from the woman, as she would otherwise be able to do were the relationship seen as an emotional bond (as in the traditional mistress.) This is termed 枕営業 or makura eigyo (literally pillow work.) The idea, if I understand it, is that the interaction was transactional in a sense, and that there was no emotional bond. Interesting as well since prostitution is technically illegal in Japan (though rampant in probably any form you can imagine.)
Law in Japan is as slippery as it is elsewhere.
I realize you weren't talking about law itself, but morality. In Japan infidelity is in some sense seen as an inevitability at some point or another, by many. This is, like everything else, changing as society changes. Keep in mind there was never a real "sexual revolution" in Japan, as sex has always been one bin in the bento box, separate from everything else. You can get a fucking headache trying to figure out what's going on sometimes.
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