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Notes -
Women's media pushes this Beauty and the Beast narrative so hard that I feel like a surprisingly large proportion of women have tried this and gotten burned. A while back I happened on a thread in a women's forum discussing people's experience dating shy nerds - among a crowd, mind you, that demonstrably included many, many female nerd virgins as well. The common theme was that the men in this class had turned out to be shockingly inconsiderate and selfish partners, much more so in practice than the gym-bro extroverts.
Sometimes resentment and insecurity were a factor, where a guy took all his former anger at the women who wouldn't sleep with him and applied it to the woman who would. But a lot of women just noted that the shy nerds turned out to be kind of self-absorbed, not generous or interested in their partners. Several people noted being surprised that the jocks they'd dated were actually much kinder as people.
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