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I had a friend and his wife visit two years ago. I took them to a few places that were unique enough but also interesting (spending the night at Koyasan temple, for example) that many tourists still don't know about. Then we flew to my in-laws in the countryside of Kumamoto, where my friend and his wife got to be fully immersed in the life of a Japanese family. for a few days. Of course they only saw Mt Fuji through the plane window, and didn't see Hiroshima or Kyoto at all. But as tourism is now I see that as a win. Their photo reel is probably not as postcard-y as most who visit Japan, but fortunately they're the type people who don't crave social media validation.
If it's not too much to ask, I would actually be interested to hear what Japan recommendations you have for someone who is basically allergic to large crowds. In spite of my reservations about the tourism I'm not averse to the idea of a future trip to some lesser known destinations in the country, though I'd want to stay away from Kyoto, Fujikawaguchiko, Osaka and Tokyo entirely.
As such I've been scoping out the area for interesting places, and have been considering Koyasan, Nikko, Sado Island, Matsue/Izumo, Iya Valley and Hiraizumi; Miyajima looks nice too, but Itsukushima-jinja seems crowded on the best of days. It's a bit of a shame because Kyoto/Nara is so obviously the cultural centre of Japan with by far the highest concentration of history, and attractions seem to be rather far apart outside of there with a couple exceptions, but I can't justify travelling there considering the sheer amount of tourism the city receives. It's far beyond the actual capacity that it can realistically accommodate.
Mine is a fairly limited area of knowledge, but I would recommend Koyasan. I've been there in winter with snow and the beginning of Spring when it's considerably warmer, and once in summer where my friend was stung by a suzumebachi while walking through the persimmon groves on the side of the mountain. This would probably have not been the spectacle I remember it as if the kindly old Japanese farmer dude hadn't immediately leapt on my friend's back and started trying to suck out the venom (my friend would later say the old man's teeth hurt worse than the sting.)
Koya san is the home of the Shingon Buddhist sect, which is apparently different from other Buddhist sects in ways too subtle for me to have taught myself. There are several temples up there, as well as a very large and impressive cemetery--you can find the tomb of Oda Nobunaga back deep in the cedar and cypress forests. The temples offer only vegan food (the sparing, Japanese monk version) and you're sleeping on a futon on a tatami mat floor, but it's an interesting experience. You can rise at dawn and sit in on the monk's morning prayer chants. Foreigners are catching on to this place (the temples accept all) but it's relatively unspoiled compared to, say, Heian Jingu in Kyoto. Even in Kyoto you can escape crowds if you have a car or know someone, though you can't escape traffic.
There are also a few islands I've been to that are uncrowded yet tourist friendly. More the type of place Japanese tourists go.
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