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This is still answering on a personal level, but I think Scott's take on "micromarriages" is a nice framing here. https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/theres-a-time-for-everyone
That is, frame going out with the boys and being around girls as a win in and of itself. The attitude is the same in poker: praise yourself for making the right move (probabilistically) even if the pot doesn't go your way.
I wonder how we can encourage that attitude as a society. Maybe celebs start #nophonefridays where everyone goes out without their phones. Maybe establishments start offering some sort of stamps for showing up to events, which can somehow be turned into actual clout or gain.
I'd like to see better public social spaces. Bars are kind of the default, but they feel like a particularly economically extractive kind of space. It does feel like a waste to go to a loud, crowded bar, and buy overpriced drinks for a woman just to get the chance to socialize with her. Where's a place where someone can just drop a $25 and have a nice environment to chat and meet new people?
There are all sorts of social coordination problems that religious gatherings solve. Volunteer organizations too, but they tend to be a bit more sex segregated. I've never heard of anyone IRL meeting anyone (friend, romantic, other) at a bar (I'm an older millennial). A bar is where you go with someone who has already agreed to a date. Most people I know met people at college, a club, or church, then at some point invited them to a bar. Which makes a lot more sense, it's risky to go out with someone who doesn't have any mutual friends, and is unknown in one's social circle.
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You don't have to buy drinks for women to socialize with them at bars. It's also possible to find chill bars where you can have a conversation at a normal volume. Unfortunately, alcohol is terrible for health.
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