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I think you're correct that most of the change has been due to ambiverts becoming introverts and the overall range of socialization going down, but I'd add to it that there's a phenomenon where increasingly women who go out socializing are not interested in meeting men during that socializing, even in traditional spots for that kind of thing such as bars. I'm not really speaking from experience here, but we've had several posters talk about how younger women tend to stick together and just spend time with each other at bars/clubs/events in a way that wasn't necessarily true in the past. I don't think that's most of the effect, but there does seem to have been a change in how people socialize in public, even when they do.
That said, I'm in the "my idea of a good night is World of Warcraft" personality cluster. I found a partner who's part of the "my idea of a good night is Netflix True Crime documentary" personality cluster. We met each other in college, and I would say our relationship pushes us both to get out of the house more, do fun things, go on a fun date, go for a road trip, although we enjoy snuggling on the couch just as much.
She sent me some screenshots from this video the other day, and texted "We're the 0.74%. I'm glad I met you in college, it was the correct time to meet someone." I think introverted people tend to disappear into the ether after college -- that's true of me -- as the structured time with a cohort of similar-aged people ends after years of school and college. What's left in terms of "obligatory situations where you can meet people" is basically the workplace, especially for the increasingly irreligious who aren't 'joiners,' and that's... fraught, even on a good day.
A big part of the argument for coeducation back in the day was that it made it possible for men and women to meet in a shared collegiate environment instead of the old tradition, where the fraternity boys would throw parties and the girls at the nearby women's college would show up. The joke in conservative Christian circles is that women go to college to get the esteemed Mrs. Degree. My mother was actually recommended by her pastor to go to a regional Christian college because she'd had an engagement that blew up and still was eager to find a man to settle down with; she took the advice, and Mr. Urquan Sr. capitalized on the opportunity.
As for how you meet people after college, that's where it gets startlingly fraught and the modern, internet-enabled attitude of "if it's not required, I won't be there" becomes destructive.
I guess that's what I'm skeptical about. I was hitting on girls 15-20 years ago, and women going around in groups was normal then too. The old pickup guys designed strategies around it. The image of a young woman sitting at a bar waiting for men to hit on her was just a thing that happened on TV. Women, agreeable as they are, are more likely to say 'I'm just here to hang out with my friends' to a guy they're not interested in, rather than be truthful and say that they would be interested if he were better looking or more charismatic. So the guys on this forum are getting rejected, which is obviously frustrating, and taking the reasons women are giving literally, which is the classic male-female communication failing.
There doesn't seem to be good data from significantly far in the past but this source suggests that the decline in singles looking for love has been driven mostly by men, between 2019 and 2024.
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I agree college is an optimal place to meet long term partners. Attraction can build through encountering people many times in different settings (in a group project, and then again at a party). You get to know someone deeper and evaluate them on less superficial traits. Sometime after college many single people seem to accumulate baggage/cynicism, where they used to have optimism/hope.
There are a couple interesting trends on my radar about college:
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