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Notes -
Any man who becomes infatuated with a woman as a love interest I used to tell them to beat off first, and then ask if you can stand to be around this person.
The problem I’ve since recognized with that logic though is you know you’re in love with a person when you’re in a dazzling euphoric haze about them and you don’t see them clearly. You see them differently from everyone else, even in ways the person you’re in love with may not understand about themselves. I’ve been there, and I’ve been burned. It’s disheartening but in the end we just don’t see things the same way. It’s not just interest incompatibility at the margins. We are truly incapable of understanding the inner world of the other person. You’re not from different worlds, you’re from different galaxies.
Everyone has experienced the feeling of love at some point, but people still wonder if that’s how it’s “supposed” to feel, because of the ideas we’re taught about it. Where men often struggle is when they’re in love with the idea they have about a woman and they’re blocked from understanding that who they aren’t isn’t the fantasy you’ve imposed on them, and being in love makes it extremely difficult and mentally agonizing for you to break past that illusion even when you know it’s true, because you don’t ‘want’ to accept it; because you’re in love.
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