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Friday Fun Thread for May 1, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Because the money is already in things like shares of VTI, SLV, and SGOV. Right now less than 3% of my total account value is in cash, despite my enormous notional exposure. I’m trying to fix that without having to sell any shares but it’s slow-going. For example I got assigned 100 shares of TSCO recently and that set me back on the goal.

Also, buying options is generally negative EV (you’re literally paying what’s called a premium) unless you are exceptional at picking direction and can predict strong moves. Brokers like Robinhood try to be clear about that when they tell you what your break-even share price will be when buying a call. I don’t consider myself good enough to speculate, so I’d rather rely on my appetite for risk and willingness to warehouse that risk for whomever is buying this stuff.

Hmm. :I