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Notes -
I've got some personal experience with the kink community. I had an ex-girlfriend who ultimately had tastes way more hardcore than my own, but we dabbled a bit with the Feelds of the world whilst we were together and I've kept up socially with her since and she's been pretty open about what she's getting up to.
Most of what I've got from here is a bit of a weird mess of things where there's explicitly a bunch of subcategories of doms that a lot of women are interested in trying out for an experiential thing but they'd generally not be 'boyfriend material' or kinda in their own category where the same woman who's consenting to do shibari or whatever would also swipe left on them for a casual hookup since they're not hot enough. Shibari guys being a common thread of this where it's something a lot of women are into, but the sort of personality that actually puts enough effort into learning the skillset tends to be kinda neurotic and annoying. This kinda thing is generally the best shot of 'single unaccompanied hetero guy getting to dom women he doesn't know', and even that tends to require a ton of social proof since there's countless stories of 'random guy claims to be able to do X, Y & Z on feeld since he watched 2 videos on it on pornhub but doesn't know the artisan skillset required'.
Which is massively digressing, but nonetheless I do hear that a lot of girls feel that guys are unwilling to match their desired level of take-control in sex.
Were you unicorn hunting, or was this a "we're just looking around" kind of a thing?
I will say that the idea of a "BDSM hookup" is pretty ridiculous to me, much moreso even than normal hookups. I'd want to know a person pretty seriously before engaging in anything on this side of the asteroid belt of risky sexual behavior, let alone power exchange.
Unicorn hunting a bit though that was its own tiresome thing and the relationship was prettymuch already over when we decided to go more FWBish.
Oof. Unicorn hunting is its own bit of insanity, and it sounds like she's the one who pushed for it.
Do you feel regret when you see what she's up to, or is this an "I'm glad I dodged a bullet there" kind of a thing?
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