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Culture War Roundup for the week of February 20, 2023

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It doesn't "seem" creepy. It is creepy. How would you feel if you walked into an office for an interview and your potential boss (male) said "Just be a sec, I gotta go jerk off"? There may possibly be some jobs where "oh hey here it's we're all guys together", but I think you might come away from that going "Hm, that was odd".

How would you feel if you had a friend with whom you regularly discussed sexual stuff, they referred you for a job at a place they didn't work at, you visited the city and stayed in their house, and then they brought sexual stuff while you were visiting?

Fixed that for you.

This has happened to me, BTW, and it was totally unremarkable. A bro with whom I regularly discuss banging chicks referred me to a job. I visited him and he told me about how he's banging a cool rocker chick with big tits (or something like that, this was long back and I forget the details). The only difference here is that instead of being bros who bang hot chicks in a mainstream manner, it was weird nerds doing weird nerd stuff in a subculture that the establishment wants to attack.

But of course, I actually read the detailed statement and apology (linked in the OP) instead of just the hit piece: https://forum.effectivealtruism.org/posts/QMee23Evryqzthcvn/a-statement-and-an-apology

He was not her potential boss or involved in the decisionmaking process.

I was employed as a researcher at that time

My role didn’t develop to connecting people with different positions until later, and this wasn’t part of my self-conception at the time

(However it makes sense to me that this was her perception)

I was not affiliated with the org she was interviewing at

I’d suggested her as a candidate earlier in the application process, but was not part of their decision-making process

The interaction did not happen in an office, and the implication that they only knew each other professionally is false. This was one interaction in a long personal relationship in which apparently many such interactions took place as part of a weird social experiment:

We had what I perceived as a preexisting friendship where we were experimenting with being unusually direct and honest (/“edgy”)

Including about sexual matters

There was what would commonly be regarded as oversharing from both sides (this wasn’t the first time I’d mentioned masturbation)

Our friendship continued in an active way for several months afterwards

They do seem to be different cases. This is classic "he said, she said": he's saying "we were pals", she's saying "he's the guy interviewing me for a job".

And your bro was telling you about chicks he was hitting on/fucking. He wasn't going "Bro, you are so hot, hang on a mo, gotta go jerk off because that's the effect you have on me".

They do seem to be different cases. This is classic "he said, she said": he's saying "we were pals", she's saying "he's the guy interviewing me for a job".

It isn't "he said, she said" because Time Magazine didn't say he was the interviewer or her prospective boss. Time Magazine did not say anything at all about the presence or absence of a preexisting relationship. They said:

"...an unsettling experience with an influential figure in EA whose role included picking out promising students and funneling them towards highly coveted jobs. After that leader arranged for her to be flown to the U.K. for a job interview, she recalls being surprised to discover that she was expected to stay in his home, not a hotel."

I can totally understand how you drew this (most likely false) conclusion, but technically Time Magazine did not lie.

They simply exploited the fact that you believe that they would have mentioned a preexisting weirdo rationalist relationship with odd social experiments if one existed, and that they would have mentioned the interview was with someone else entirely.

Also, I do not believe that the guy is lying about either a) being her interviewer or b) the preexisting relationship. These are both easy to prove one way or the other and if he were lying about such easily provable things, one would expect someone to call it out.

But I'm happy to be proven wrong: if the accuser claims he is lying and he doesn't dig up texts/FB messages/etc to prove they were friends before and after, I will consider her case to be proven. Similarly if the accuser claims he's lying and digs up an interview schedule listing him, I'll consider her case proven.

And your bro was telling you about chicks he was hitting on/fucking. He wasn't going "Bro, you are so hot, hang on a mo, gotta go jerk off because that's the effect you have on me".

Yes, he was following a pattern for which there is a mainstream "script" so you can easily pattern match it. Other similar things he has said include "damn bro back that fine ass up let me get it on camera". Entirely work inappropriate and inappropriate for some friendships, but totally reasonable for him to say to me at the gym after filming my first successful 4 plate deadlift.

Weirdo rationalists are weirdos and making up their own script that you are unfamiliar with. Is anything non-mainstream fundamentally illegitimate and evil? One must not do it even with the full consent of all involved?

Other similar things he has said include "damn bro back that fine ass up let me get it on camera". Entirely work inappropriate and inappropriate for some friendships, but totally reasonable for him to say to me at the gym after filming my first successful 4 plate deadlift.

Are you sure you didn't miss out on a blossoming love to last the ages by thinking he was admiring your muscular prowess instead of delicately courting you? 😁