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PaperclipPerfector  4d ago (text post)   2436 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for July 12, 2026

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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The solution is simple, grasshopper.

  1. Delete Hinge
  2. Throw your phone into the ocean
  3. Get JACKED
  4. Buy the most expensive sports car you can afford.
  5. Drive to an intersection
  6. Place the car in neutral, engage the parking brake, and vigorously push down on the accelerator pedal four or five times. This will engage the automatic flirting system (AFS). You’ll know the AFS has activated when a polite but extremely loud English-accented voice comes booming out out of the engine saying “Hello ladies! Have you considered taking an interest in MY PENIS?”. American manufactures usually go with Stephen Fry, but recently BMW has been having a lot of success with Matt Berry as well.
  7. Do this a few times and you will start getting dates

Now a couple of safety warnings

  1. You will eventually get a ticket. Do not apologize. Deep down, the officer knows what you did was right.
  2. If you are running a V8 or higher, the low frequency rumble is going to call Latinas. Don’t stay in one place with the engine running too long. Consider keeping an atomizer of L'heure bleue or a similar fragrance, it smells like Karen droppings and it will scare them off. You need to be smart about this. I don’t want you coming back here whining about how you accidentally splattered some poor pedestrian because you were in fear of being hauled out of your Dodge Challenger and gang-raped by a feral pack of brown baddies.

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