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Notes -
I think some level of this debate has to do with what people count as "flakiness." I've absolutely had "girl cancels on the day before confirmation text," and even "girl ghosts and blocks almost immediately after the day before confirmation text." I have had "cancels immediately before the date with reasonable-sounding excuse," which could turn either into ghosting or a rescheduled date, depending on many factors. I have, however, never been left genuinely stood up at a meeting location, but I also, when I dated, would never go to the meeting location unless I got day-of confirmation.
I also think there might be an element of age and/or attractiveness match level involved here. The men I most associate with making the "women be flakin'" complaints are also, often, the men I associate with "I like 'em young and hot," and, yeah, I'll readily agree that "young and hot" is a walking red flag for flakiness, because such individuals who are also eager to settle down and have a well-adjusted personality often end up in a relationship quickly, and long-term presence in dating indicates pickiness, chaos, or lack of serious desire to practically date. A 22 year old is dramatically more likely to flake, and to do it poorly, than a 29 year old. Men have similar dynamics, and young men are fickle as all heck.
There's also the "what does she think the date is" element. A woman who thinks the date is a hookup or a plausibly-deniable hookup is going to be more likely to flake, because that's a high stakes meeting, and "I'm not feeling it" can override any level of "keep to your plans." A woman who thinks it's low-intensity coffee will be less likely to flake.
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