The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Damn. Are you sure we aren’t related and have the same parents? Whatever I have I above the neck I definitely inherited from my father, but even so, nowhere near the frequency he had it; as I couldn’t keep up with him. He had them in the extreme, extreme. My more natural joyfulness and aloofness and temperament I took more from my mother, but I did have very hard boundaries in certain places that I took from my father.
I’m also above average in neuroticism but I never had it to any crippling degree. It’s not a ‘bad’ thing intrinsically like people think, and it also poses problems that are known in the scholarly literature of the five factor model; namely that all the negative emotions load together on a single factor. I tend to remember negative experiences more strongly than positive ones, but it leads to being introspective and provokes one to learn from their encounters. Letting those emotions consume you is always a bad thing, but if I think of neuroticism I think again of a Nietzschean aphorism:
“One needs a little chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star.”
My mother and father were very different people with very different backgrounds. My sibling and I naturally followed their steps in being equally dissimilar, though the associated dysfunction between us was still strongly sibling in nature, despite its intensity. Not in a rivalry sense; we just objectively did not like each other. We always got along more the less we had to interact and the greater the distance was between us. They also had problems throughout though. They were very bullying (and I mean that in the direct and literal sense) and a pathological liar among other issues they dealt with. Perhaps it’s a good sign that I don’t get along with people like that. I don’t usually talk about my sibling out of respect for them. If I draw from my own experiences I don’t have a lot of positive things to say. Better to preserve their memory by not speaking on it.
Is the economics of your job more volume based or particularly case based depending on if you land some big fish/problematic client? I can’t imagine getting paid is all that fun either, if these clients are so erratically beset with issues; I’m sure it can be like pulling teeth, because they never want to pay you your fee or can’t get it together. Makes me have more sympathy and pity for public defenders. Lol. How does your retainer vary based on client? Can you do that legally? Like if you’re an asshole, there’s an X% markup on services? I’m sure it’s not like that, but you get the vibe I’m presenting.
If you have any cases that have ever stood out in your mind that you just hated dealing with, I’d love to hear an anecdote you’re willing to share.
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