This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.
Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.
We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:
-
Shaming.
-
Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.
-
Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.
-
Recruiting for a cause.
-
Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.
In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:
-
Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.
-
Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.
-
Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.
-
Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.
On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
At the end of the day, from my experience, gender identity is downstream of self esteem and our ability to disentangle our desires for ourselves, from our desires for our partners, from what we believe we're capable of being for someone else.
Personally, I lacked self esteem growing up and had a lot of anxieties surrounding my ability to be masculine. (I'm a gay man.) So I was drawn to doing feminine things, which I also believed in my adolescent brain would attract a man (men are attracted to femininity right? Or so I thought.) But as I aged I realized that it's extremely gratifying to me to have my masculinity affirmed by other masculine men, and I don't really feel the gender anxiety I used to feel when I was younger. It is a matter of being more comfortable with myself than I was when I was younger. I too could have been trans, though I also felt physical horror at the thought of having my penis removed which helped me realize that perhaps it wasn't for me.
I wanted to see myself as an object of mens' desires, and I thought that being feminine would do so. If I was straight, perhaps I would want to see myself as the object of a woman's desires, and perhaps conflate the traits of femininity with what women desire, and so want to become feminine so as to possess those traits which women find desirable and become an autogynephile.
More options
Context Copy link