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Culture War Roundup for the week of March 6, 2023

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Even just approaching someone for sex in a FWB situation, as I understand it, requires that you be friends and have hung out and done things together and that there is some attraction there, before you get to the sex.

I think the guy really hasn't any close friends to advise him so is taking cues off social media, and went for the worst possible approach because he had no idea how it would come across.

There's also the whole problem of mixed signals; he interpreted "she is friendly to me in class and seems to have increased the intimacy level" as "she is flirting with me" and that may not have been the case. Even if that were the case, that is an invitation to treat, as they say, inviting him to up the intimacy level as well.

But that does not mean going straight from "lab partners" to "booty call". Ask her if she wanted to grab lunch together, or go get a coffee, or something easy at first. Depending how that goes, move on to asking for a date. Then broach the "wanna get physical?" question.

Not "I like you, wanna fuck? But on a casual basis, as a convenience to me and not that I'd be interested in a relationship" straight out of the gate. They didn't have the kind of friendship/existing relationship to get to the "I like you, you like me, we're mildly attracted to each other, want to have some fun sometimes?" step.

It's good he did have the courage to ask her out, however clumsily, and I hope he gets some friends to give him good advice and help him out.

Even just approaching someone for sex in a FWB situation, as I understand it, requires that you be friends and have hung out and done things together and that there is some attraction there, before you get to the sex.

Right-o. A central example of a friendship with benefits would be two people who are good friends, have high libido, have some sexual chemistry with each other, but have sufficiently incompatible personalities that they both don't want to become a couple. Then they can agree to help each other out when both of them are going through a dry spell.

"I like you, you like me, we're attracted to each other, want to have some fun?" is not a FwB, it's a fling. "Our time together is limited, when it's over we'll go our separate ways, so how about we don't take it seriously and just enjoy each other's company to the fullest?"