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Culture War Roundup for the week of March 13, 2023

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I don't think even a fully-fledged non monogamous option is required for that. A bit of flirting with nonpartners here or there might just satiate the urge, after all a lot of the thrill is in the chase and flirting is enjoyable in and of itself even without it culminating in sex.

It does seem like playing with fire though. The people who actually have options will also be the ones who can afford to turn the side option into a main option, and you end up in a worse hellscape than the current one purely pushed by people on the margins making use of the new state of things and those not capable building a defense mechanism for it. Which is why I (hypothetically) think anything more than flirting should still be tabooed.

I'd go further: just don't spend too much time around your woman. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. One of the most awful things about growing up is gradually but inescapably discovering that my parents have an intense sexual relationship, even in their retirements, despite being nerds and squares. The best explanation I have is that they don't spend a lot of time around each other (they have lots of other friends and far more hobbies than they can pursue in a 365-day year) and so there's a spark of excitement when they actually spend time alone. They also had 3 kids and now have grandchildren they like to babysit, which also presumably limited their opportunities to spend time alone.

(And I hope that's the last time I have to think so much about my parents screwing in this thread.)

Companionate love blossoms with spending time together, but for keeping things alive in bed, I would guess that spending plenty of time apart is a good thing. The greatest danger for monogamous sex is the loss of a sense of it being special. For all their squarishness, bordering on puritanism, my parents always tried to impose on me the sense that sex is very, very special, and that the reason why not being promiscuous is important is not that sex isn't important, but that it's one of the most important things that humans can do.