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Small-Scale Question Sunday for May 14, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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I am of the mind that friendly reminders such as "Hey are we still on?" are more attempts at dopamine boosts for the inquirer, but almost always have the opposite effect, allowing easy exits for the inquirees. In other words, on originally setting up time and place, be as precise as possible, and only message them either slightly before that ("almost there") or slightly after ("Is that you in the Homburg?") but never, ever before.

I offer this next advice without imagining you'll take it: Cut your losses, soldier. Be eminently polite and tell her something brief but witty about all work and no play, etc. or say you hope she catches up, you know how it is, etc.

Then never initiate contact again.

Which is not to say you cannot respond if she texts you, of course, I mean we are not savages.

My reasoning is that she is, by cancelling, making her bed, as it were. Now she should lie in it. Any further pursuit by you smacks of your providing her with unearned attention.

Whatever you do, don't be rude or reveal even vaguely that you might be inconvenienced or hurt.

Just my thoughts. At least you have some champagne, which is nice.