The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Giving advice to people who should know better is so fraught with danger. From an advice standpoint, I'd encourage you to decide on what you think the truth is, then decide what to share with her based on a portion of the truth which is both shareable and directionally correct. So if there are three factors:
He's pretty terrible
Her current feelings may just be nerves
She maybe can't do better than him
#1 and #3 aren't very shareable, so I'd pick a few related points, weaken point #2 (since the other points have been weakened), and then present that as my perspective.
However, I don't think she needs or even wants advice at all. It sounds to me like she has made a decision that she should cancel the wedding and is now looking for reassurance. What she needs is not specific advice one way or another, but a good discussion with someone who will talk with her, discuss the potential outcomes of her decision, and then say they'll support her whatever her choice.
You could do more, throwing your weight one way or the other, but then whatever your counsel and whatever her decision, it could reflect very poorly on you.
You are right, he just needs to provide help. For the discussion he might ask questions like "why do you want to cancel" and let her give her reasons. He can also emphasize that while canceling has a financial cost it's nothing compared to a divorce.
She might find no one now, but she has more chances than when she will be 10 years older and divorced with children. And losing weight is not that difficult compared to being in a terrible marriage
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