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Wellness Wednesday for December 20, 2023

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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I do not consider myself competitive at all, but people I know, and some I know well and who arguably know me well (including my wife) have routinely made the throwaway comment about me that I am. In that vein, I would suggest, despite your protestations, that you may be more competitive than you think--at least this is what I suspect from my reading your posts here. It's true, you do not rise easily and irrationally to challenges (as many, many do) but if that is competitiveness, I have to reluctantly echo f3zinker and ask what the attraction to such a trait might be.

You do not like PvP. Why not? Because it enrages you to lose. Might I suggest that is indicative of the strong desire to not lose, which, arguably, is one definition of competitiveness. You probably control yourself well enough that you simply avoid this darker pathological part of your character. I suspect if and when real challenges arise and you are equipped or potentially able to equip yourself to deal with them (e.g. anything involving thinking) you'll do fine without whatever particular Ehrgeiz you imagine you are lacking.

This does not answer your question and is of course presumptuous as a reply, so for that I apologize.