Being
1yr ago
Being
1yr ago
First off, big thanks! Your advice is high-quality.
It's a lot like finding a good gaming group, but it's more personal because you're actually critiquing each other. In some ways, it's like dating.
Alas, my gaming groups have always been IRL friends so I've never had that experience. The dating analogy is a fun one. If there was a Hinge for writing groups I'd be all about it. Set some filters, screen out matches with some bants, and meet up - sounds like the dream.
I would personally recommend online groups focusing on your genre over a local group, unless you really find it valuable to have that face-to-face interaction.
I definitely agree that at least general genre matching seems like a must, but do you think it would be worth the effort to try local? I live in a major US city so, at least in theory, it should be possible to have both. I imagine that having face to face interactions could reduce a lot of the issues around dedication. Sanderson advocated pretty heavily for in person > online and while he's not my favorite author, the man gets shit done. As someone who has no experience with either medium (outside of a classroom setting) I don't have an informed preference.
My best experience was joining a larger online group, paying attention to who was actually a decent writer and gave decent critiques, and then contacting them to form a small private group of our own.
This seems like a winning move. Almost the only move upon reflection. I'd imagine the typical gatekeeping dynamic is in play: any group that is open to outsiders is likely going to suffer the weaknesses of that openness. I imagine that joining a group with the intent to defect is probably a point in favor of online groups? Would be much trickier and ruder to splinter an in person group without hard feelings.
Being
1yr ago
I think I'm going to spend a few weeks looking around and maybe trying out a group or two first. If I end up (20% chance) deciding to make my own I'll reach out!
What genre are you planning on writing?
Being
1yr ago
Noted. At this point, I'm leaning towards trying to find an existing group. If I spend a few weeks looking and end up disappointed I'll report back and set something up. I tend to not like to half ass things so if I do decide to do my own I'll be signing myself up for a decent load of work.
Being
1yr ago
13 cm is quite tiny. Just the bench portion (excluding any legs) would be pushing 10. If you go DIY route I think it would be easier to make a detachable bench rather than foldable.
Sometimes DIY is easier if you just breakdown an existing product to fit your needs. If you start with something like this Amazon Basics Bench (I've had mine for a few years and it's surprisingly sturdy), you'd just need to cut the legs off and devise a new attachment mechanism.
Being
1yr ago
First one is decent advice ( if only because just get jacked first resolves to never wear it)
As far as the second outfit, if you have to ask you can’t pull it off.
Although your central claim is fairly reasonable: "People claim that it’s hard to be healthy, get enough protein, or not be deficient in key minerals on a vegan diet", I think the rest of your post ends up primarily engaging with a weakman.
Very few informed people disagree with the claim that it is "possible to be [moderately] successful athletically on a vegan diet."
The standard points of disagreement are as follows:
-
How hard is it to hit all macros and micros on a vegan diet (typically in comparison to a comparable omnivore diet)
-
Is a vegan diet optimal from a health and/or performance perspective
Since you are either ceding or not interested in the latter, let's focus on the former.
Based on what you have shared it does indeed sound like you have a healthy diet & lifestyle. But you are also putting in vastly more work than the average person would. So much so that I wonder if you realize how unwilling the average Westerner would be to do anything like what you have done:
-
Train consistently & intensely enough to become an elite runner
-
Track micros and macros (not sure how religious you are, but very few people are willing to do this)
-
Get regular, discretionary bloodwork
-
Analyze the bloodwork and make appropriate lifestyle changes
-
Adjust supplement intake based on season
None of the above would be realistic to ask most patients. Even just asking them to eat a few more forkfuls of greens or drink one less soda per day results in abysmal compliance rates after any length of time.
In terms of ease, I'm of the opinion that the average person who will never count macros let alone micros is going to have fewer significant deficiencies if they eat meat than if they do not. Would you agree?
Anecdotally, as someone living in a trendy coastal area I know several people who have switched to a vegan diet. None of them ended up healthier, at least one of them ended up needing medical intervention as a direct result.
(edited right after posting to fix one word)
Being
11mo ago
This passes the sanity check for me.
Simplified version: think of puberty as a trigger in the opposite direction from what you’re thinking. It’s a process that tells the body: “hey, we’re finishing up the growing portion of life.”
Other posters mentioned eunuchs. Not that many eunuchs around these days so data is scarce, but we do have a mammalian population we can draw insight from: dogs.
The consensus is that neutering dogs does lead to an increased size.
Being
10mo ago
Thanks for hosting this!
For those of you who weren't able to stop by:
- Shame on you ;)
- I'd summarize @lagrangian 's advice as the classic advice remains the best route: Grind Leetcode then mass apply to the major companies.
Being
8mo ago
Sorry I missed the cut, but I'd strongly encourage you to not do prompts.
The best posts on SSC, reddit motte, & here have always been the ones where somebody dives deep into their area of expertise and/or hobby horse.
Reading somebody's 500 words on a given topic can be worthwhile if the person is a skilled writer and spends a few hours on it.
Reading years of expertise and domain knowledge distilled down to a single essay is almost always a delight.
I worry that if everyone just sticks to the prompt two things will occur:
- People will be bored. And I'm not talking about just the eventual readers. The task will feel like a chore that people have to drag themselves over the finish line for.
- The final work will be bland. Think of the school essays. They almost always sucked. And not just because most students are poor writers. For any possible prompt chosen, the odds that the members of this writing circle are going to have the best takes on the internet are small. And if their takes aren't among the best, why should any of us read them?
Exception: anything personal. Examples of prompts that are worth doing are ones where the question is essentialy free form, but just focused. Stuff like:
- "Why do you post on the Motte?
- "Do you think the culture war should be waged? Is a détente possible? What do you think is the best possible path to a truce?"
- What is an issue that you feel strongly about that nobody else seems to? Do you think others should care more (read: rant away. Works best on a fairly lighthearted topic imo)
- On CW topics, Why do you believe what you believe? How do you evaluate incompatible worldviews when both are espoused by (seemingly) intelligent, rational actors supporting their positions with evidence?
- What are your core values? Do you have a guiding value or even just a heuristic that you find yourself circling back to?
Also: Throwing my hat in the ring as a backup if you need another. I asked about writing groups a few months ago: https://www.themotte.org/post/436/friday-fun-thread-for-april-7/84920, but didn't want to take on starting it myself ;)
Being
8mo ago
I agree with your opening that Scott has a bit of a Motte & Bailey, but it seems to me like you might be doing a bit of the same. Mind defining your terms a bit?
I read Scott's post as creating a dichotomy between
a) Looks "Only" dating apps. E.g. Tinder
b) Personality/Attribute based dating apps. Among these are two basic groups: the long form (words words words. aka Date-Me Docs) and the filterers (the type where you match based on stuff like 100 dimensions of compatibility).
I personally think group b is should be split into these two for any sort of analysis.
From my perspective you are arguing against b being effective/popular by categorizing parts of "b" into group "a".
... if it were true we would expect to see a "two models" system. One mass-commercialized model where people looking for casual fun can swipe to find hookups, and a second non-profit or premium model where people can write long-form profiles to find high-quality partners
In my opinion this is EXACTLY what we do have. Tinder brands itself (and is widely agreed upon) as the hookup app. Hinge brands itself as "The App designed be Deleted." At a glance they look similar because they share some UI elements (swiping), but I think it's a mistake to lump them together. The fact that the UI is similar tells us something about mobile ergonomics, but not as much about the users' goals or the backend. At the risk of sounding like a Hinge shill (which maybe I am?), the matching algo and UX is pretty different and lead to different outcomes. I know several close friends who have great success on Hinge, at one point I may write an effort post about optimal dating strategies.
Even if they were the exact same app, the userbase and their motivations matter. While some (read: many men) use it for hookups that doesn't define it for the same reason that although many people use LinkedIn as a less (differently) competitive dating app, it should not be viewed as such.
tl;dr: "Describable dating" apps exist. They are popular.
As an aside, Dating Docs are a very eccentric approach that will turn off the vast majority of potential partners. I would strongly discourage anyone from having one. To the extent they are at all effective I think it's solely for the ability to signal you are open to advances. This can be done with a less costly signal.
edited to add line breaks.
Being
8mo ago
Progression fantasy is my guilty pleasure and I've read a truly shameful amount. So clearly I enjoy the subgenre (and the adjacent ones).
Yet I struggle to find any redeeming quality of DCC. IMO it's got all of the weaknesses of the genre and none of the strengths.
I know there's no accounting for tastes, but DCC seems to be one of the more popular series and I really can't wrap my head around why.
Mind trying to tell me what you found enjoyable in it?
Being
8mo ago
+1 on the 12 Miles Below rec. It was one of the best progression fantasy books I've read in awhile. The pacing was superb and the writing was as good as progression fantasy gets (low bar, but still).
Have any other recommendations for someone with the following tastes?
- Decent writing
- I'd say something like at least highschool level and with at least some attempt made at proofreading
- Sadly, it seems less than 25% of the books pass this bar.
- If I have to read another book that includes the dreaded "As you know..."
- Novelty
- I've read probably 100 progression fantasy books. I don't need to read yet another inferior Cradle clone.
- Respectful of reader/subject matter
- None of the writers in this genre are skilled enough to pull off breaking the 4th wall
- Similarly, their attempts at "humor" usually are so bad they break any immersion.
As an aside, having a genre with many non-native speakers and authors I imagine are under the age of 15 does lead to some unintentionally funny situations. Earlier this week my girlfriend and I had a good laugh at a MC applying a tourniquet to his neck because his head was bleeding :)
Being
8mo ago
While I would disagree that he is that helpless, I actually think this one of the better aspects of this story.
Most MCs in progresssion fantasy fall into one of two tropes:
- Hardest worker/never back down (this often makes little sense given how growth & power is exponential. If progress was that linear many more people would be grinding, but I digress)
- Boy genius. Sometimes this works, but often it is the redditor meme: “In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.”
so it is nice to see something a bit different.
12MB is definitely a much slower burn. Rather than a chapter of being worthless (or just a paragraph in many Isekais), the character is weak for almost all of the book. Weak in terms of power and weak in terms of decision making. He is very much an imperfect character who makes stupid decisions that have heavy costs. I personally like this aspect because it makes the progression feel more meaningful. I don't want to praise the pacing too much since it is still just the first book and there are still plenty of ways the author could ruin it.
Being
8mo ago
Wow, this list is fantastic! Way more than I could've hoped for. I've read like half them already which means that there is more than enough here for me to waste an embarrassing amount of time on.
Let me know if you'd ever like some recs and I'll return the favor.
Being
2mo ago
Pretty sure anti-progressive and anti-hbd is the tribal position of “one of the two dominant ideologies that define most political discussion in the english-speaking world”
I’ll grant you that these two beliefs are definitely overrepresented on this forum though.
The vast majority of users here hold many opinions that are outside of the two main dogmas. If you don’t see that I think it would be worthwhile to spend time either delving the various posters beliefs better or to reassess what the dominant beliefs actually are in the West.
Being
1mo ago
I'll go first.
Personal Preferences :
- (Strong) Owning a property
- Rules out VHCOL area (e.g. NYC,SF) at income level (#4 above)
- (Strong) Stick to same location
- We will live in or around this home city for the next 25+ years
- (Weak) Western U.S.A.
- Family is clustered in this area, but this is not a super strong preference.
- We are fine not living near to family and both our families are also open to relocating
My fun picks:
- Beautiful remote living in the Spanish (pre)Pyrenees. Sample homes:
- Castle in the Italian countryside. Sample 15th century home: https://www.engelvoelkers.com/en/exposes/403ce1ae-62cc-5773-a893-1a76e7fa8e7c
- If French castles are more to your taste, here's another option: https://www.jamesedition.com/real_estate/chatellerault-france/vienne-department-15th-18th-and-19th-century-listed-chateau-to-be-renovated-9-8-acres-of-land-11091591
As an American, the availability and affordability (let's just ignore the repair and maintenance for now....) of these castles is something I would never have guessed at.
Some boring (“realistic”) cities that are currently on my list that I plan to explore:
- Boise
- Salt Lake City
- Austin
These areas provide affordable homes near to a reasonably large city combined with proximity to numerous outdoor recreation options.
Being
1mo ago
No preference. I've lived in both and didn't find it to be a impact my life positively or negatively (pros&cons balanced perfectly). What did you find to be the big difference?
Being
1mo ago
That is a very unique list to put it lightly. I couldn't even begin to understand either the commonalities between these locations or how you even approached creating such a list haha. Mind sharing what you were selecting for?
before finding that no other country on Earth would have me
Can't just drop this and leave us hanging on the cliff! Why are you trapped?
Being
1mo ago
Good spot/guess. I would have never considered that as a factor since it's such a bizarre metric to optimize around. Also, if he's going with city state , I'd expect to see Singapore on the list.
Being
1mo ago
I think almost everyone (or at least anyone I'd consider listening to) would agree that children "ought to be arguably a main factor contributing to your other life choices."
In my experience, most people want to transmit their values and lifestyle onto their children and see themselves reflected in their children - hopefully as a better version of themselves. In practice, I've found that this means that everyone rationalizes their own preferences so that "My preferred lifestyle" just so happens to always to be "What is best for children." If a person has that "Black lives matter. Women’s rights are human rights. No human is illegal. Science is real. Love is love Kindness is everything" slogan plastered on their car and foyer I think we can also predict quite a bit about what they would value for their children as well.
There are many theories on the best way to raise a child. These theories differ significantly. I'm not so cocky as to believe that only I know the Truth and everyone else is wrong. My summary of the messy evidence we have would simply be: "There are multiple approaches that work. How you parent is more important than which framework you adhere to."
I think anyone's answer to my question already has what they think is the best place to raise children baked in.
If people think that a farming lifestyle getting exposed to the harsh realities of death from an early age is the optimal route, I want to hear it! If people think that a Huck Finn (free range, largely self directed outdoor exploration) approach is the optimal route, I want to hear it! If people think that an urban lifestyle holding your child's hand as you tour art museums, I want to hear that too! If people think that living in an third world slum exposing your children to the lowest depravities of man, I will probably discount their opinions, but I still very much want to hear it!
Being
1mo ago
This is exactly the sort of niche pick that I wouldn't think of myself that I was hoping my question would draw out so thanks!
I'll do some research into it (I may have a problem with finding myself deep in research rabbit hole. Last time I found myself reading individual teachers' classroom pages at a random school in a random town before I pulled myself out.)
But since I have you here... my very limited mental model of Couer D'Alene is from when I visited there as a childhood. In my head it's a lake town where people have second homes and not something I had considered as a primary residence locale. The area is definitely beautiful, but what makes you think it's worth being THE PLACE to commit to? Proximity to a moderate size city is definitely a strong plus (maybe even a requirement), but there are hundreds of cities just within the U.S. that meet this criteria.
Being
1mo ago
Language barriers
A language barrier is insanely difficult to overcome. I didn't want to spend too much on this one in my opening post and hoped that my caveat was sufficient. But let's do it now.
For context, we have each attempted to learn several languages. My partner is a heritage speaker of another language and significantly beyond fluent. She is also fluent (depending on definition) in another language. I had the typical American school experience of attending years of classes only to be barely conversational in the language and am currently in the process of learning a separate new language .
My belief is that it is possible for a sufficiently smart person to get fluent within a few years IF they are willing to put in the time. Immersion is one hack to force you to put in the effort. I do not believe most people will ever reach a native speaker level of proficiency even after living in a country for decades. I do not expect us to be the exception. Therefore, living in a non-English speaking location means accepting that you will always be an outsider to some degree - full assimilation is not possible. This is not a dealbreaker for us, however, and we are at least be open to living in a foreign country knowing that our children will be able to assimilate in a way we never could.
@AhhhTheFrench, I have to say that your thinking aligns alarmingly close to my own on just about everything.
Regarding the "already discovered" aspect. While I know that this is almost exclusively thought of as a negative in popular attitudes, I think it may actually be more of a positive. (To the people living in an area who like the culture/vibe it had: you have my condolences. Your beloved town will never be the same). A discovered city means that the population is selected for a few aspects that I think are very positive:
- The population is largely comprised of people who CHOSE to be there. It's hard to quantify this, but the "vibes" between a town like this and a town that is filled with only the people who never left (think West Virginia as an extreme) are impossible to ignore if you've spent time in both.
- The population has more people who share several positive (to me) values:
- Long term mindset - willingness to sacrifice in the short term for expected future returns. This is the grown-up version of the marshmallow test and I believe this trait to be central to many optimal societal outcomes.
- Entrepreneurial Spirit / Internal Locus of Control - People who move great distance have taken a massive step to shape the direction of their own life and control their destiny.
- Hardworking & financially self sufficient
For the sake of completeness I'll include one big negative: people who were willing to uproot their lives to move to a new location are also much more likely to do the same thing again and leave. Obviously some of the recent additions to the city are going to be trend chasers who plan on regular relocation. If my goal was property value growth this would concern me a lot. To assess the likelihood of someone leaving I think it's important to distinguish the recent immigrants into two classes: those who moved to the town because it was "hot" and those who moved to the town because the town itself had some core aspect that they felt aligned with (apart from being trending). Of the three cities I listed, I think Austin has more of the former. I believe this also explains why Austin has had more of a recent collapse than the others.
re: Colorado (Denver in particular). I could not agree more. It really is amazing that the entire town just spends every weekend sitting in traffic in the passes. There are some political currents in Colorado that also concern me. I would love to live in the Colorado of the 90s. But if I ask myself honestly, "Would you like to live in the Colorado of 2045?" I think the answer is no.
While I lived in Boston for a few years and have spent at least a few days in each of the NE states, I have never really considered living there. Do you have a particular spot you think would be worth us checking out?
The backwater/castle living idea I think is one of those romantic ideas that I love to love. The idea of spending my days laboring to restore some 500 year old piece of history to it's former glory really pulls at the heartstrings. If I'm being honest I think it's also better as a dream - I'll continue to tell myself I don't want to sully it by burdening it with the shackles of reality.
tl;dr: How to find a writing group?
I've recently repicked up writing*. This time around I'm trying a more structured approach and doing more research on the art of writing. The one piece of advice that seems the most useful is about the utility of being part of a writing group. It seems to be an obviously useful strategy in terms of: feedback , idea brainstorming, motivation, & networking. I'm convinced I should join one, but where should I begin?
A local group would be nice to allow for face to face gatherings. Alternatively, maybe optimizing for genre over geography would be wise. But that's putting the cart before the horse - I have no idea on where to begin. I also wouldn't be opposed to starting my own group and putting in the effort there if I thought there was demand for it (here or elsewhere).
For those of you have joined a writing group (or deliberately chosen not to), how did you find your group? Was it the advertised panacea?
*Trying to thread the needle between progression and epic fantasy. I am willing to admit I enjoy the inherently pulpy progression fantasy, but just about every series is embarrassingly bad. And it really doesn't have to be. If there was ever a time to do it is now; I suspect there are only a few years left before the LLMs advance enough that they can write a high quality novel tailor made to every taste.
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