Ademonera
14d ago
I’ve read the Emily Gould cut piece on escaping divorce and found it insightful and raw without reading like self indulgent masturbation like so many of these pieces.
It’s just funny how people in these insular, catty New York writer social circles get to therapy talk through anything, ever. Wild to do mental gymnastics on top of your luxury belief system to find some weird combination of buzzwords to justify the antisocial thing you did.
They also get to just do workplace gossip like the WaPo Halloween party story. Bad takes are less brazen than before ‘woke was dead’ but, just like streaming media these days, I’m not really up for a lecture from someone who has a narrow and bizarre view of the world they wanna proselytize. Not to mention, the cut often gets these pieces from people that are writing about a big struggle they had, which the writer obviously is going to see themselves as the good guy in.
Ademonera
2mo ago
The Charlie Kirk one irks me. He hasn’t exactly leveraged either the attempts on his life or Charlie Kirk’s for any political cause, much less instituted martial law and scapegoated his political opponents for it.
There was also a mass pandemic, in case you don’t remember, where he let Anthony Fauci et al run the show. He could have had marines welding people’s doors shut and suspended elections but curiously didn’t.
Any good fascist wouldn’t waste an opportunity to consolidate power and the fact this hasn’t happened with either of these events makes me think he won’t be be giving a Saddam style purge speech anytime soon.
I’ll admit Jan 6 was embarrassing and mostly his fault but the lead up was a botched attempt to rile up his base and fundraise. He’s just a catty New York businessman who found out that being controversial will get you unlimited airtime. That’s about it.
Ademonera
2mo ago
Very much agreed. Especially when your grandparents and in some cases parents got the real deal - they met one person that decided to accompany them forever.
It seems practical to sand down those teenage feelings but you’re right that it makes you lose your muscle memory for it.
The one thing I always try to tell myself is that you’re always thinking relative to what you have. I could just as well be miserable with someone I don’t particularly like and desperate for alone time. I could be dating someone really clingy or highly distant, which I wouldn’t like. All sorts of stuff. At least being alone is simple enough and the default state of being for most men.
Ademonera
2mo ago
I just wonder how other men that aren’t doing as well handle it. I think about that Elliot Rodger kid or like the sino-cel subreddits. While the incel panic was overblown, the feelings that come from rejection and disillusionment are strong and upsetting. Worst is that I don’t think there’s really a healthy way to deconstruct it except to just keep pushing on.
But status is a good cushion. I would really, really hate to have these feelings and also feel less than other men who went to college and got good jobs etc. All things considered, I’m doing alright and things will fall into place.
Ademonera
2mo ago
Honestly I’ve been surprised how poorly my dating life has gone despite ostensibly having it together. I’m nearing 30 and it feels like an endless slog. But hey if every person I meet is an asshole, it might just be me.
I like the term ‘jestermaxxing’ and similar vocab from 2010s incel fourms now appropriated by streamers. That word feels like what I have to do - desperately try to entertain someone indifferent to me. 9/10 times, even if I give it my best, it’s not going anywhere.
I wouldn’t generalize that to most people around me, but I really think women will never appreciate the kind of perseverance it takes to keep pushing forward. It’s a unique and lonely experience, but you get a glimpse of hope every once in a while and go chase it down.
Status and social skills help but unless you put yourself in situations where you will meet people, you will work and then go home to sit around with your thoughts. The places where you meet people could expose you to people that hurt your ego and make you even more cynical. But it’s better than not trying.
I think the dating apps are especially demeaning and demoralizing for men. While many women pay for subscriptions, it’s so that they can be extra picky and use travel features. For men it is a racket built to exploit your loneliness - but hey maybe that 48 hour super Boost for $100 will get you somewhere!
Of course there’s a lot more value in long term commitments etc. I’m sure if you meet kind women at art galleries and through friends of friends, it’s much different. But if you want occasional meet-cutes or to meet someone at a club, you sure have to put up with a lot.
Ademonera
4mo ago
If the feds can get people for rigging poker games, they will find you and catch you doing this if you’re leveraging insider info, even if it’s not a security. But even if they didn’t it’s spiritually bad for you. Lotteries and the like are just a tax on poor people.
I just don’t care if people like Nate Silver make money in gambling markets. It pulls regular people in who lose bad and can’t get out. It is good old fashioned gambling and lucrative bets are out there for every venue. It’s sad to dream of a way out of your middle class life that involves spending the money you do have.
Ademonera
4mo ago
Come on this is farcical and focuses on an absolutely tiny part of the US economy. Sports betting is annoying and predatory but it was happening off shore until recently. There are always going to be money grubbing industries in good times. The pump and dump stuff in crypto is probably a more reasonable thing to think would have downstream effects.
The main thing is the US is a consumer and services dominated economy, which is what happens when an advanced economy is capable of circulating money back to households to sustain demand. China is depressing this part of their economy and has huge overcapacity as a result. More than that, they’re so focused on production that other countries are frustrated that they do not import goods and services. As people are saying in this thread, the US is the biggest consumer market in the world.
They have a ton of EV companies, of which like 5 will make it to 2030. This strategy of focused investment might look good for industry but it is not good for the ‘quality growth’ they apparently are after. I do not believe this is a sustainable strategy and does not position them well to rival the US.
Ademonera
4mo ago
I don’t have the knowledge or experience to refute much of this but do that consider China has not found some new, incredible system of economics. They’re massively tilting their economy and investment towards things like this to the detriment of their consumers and other sectors of the economy. It is an inefficient economy that needs strong reforms that will likely never happen. The main character argument seems like some self fulfilling prophecy you believe in. Whatever happens, I’d probably rather be in the shoes of the US than China in the next 50 years.
I don’t underestimate their ability to innovate but I don’t believe in their ability to produce strong thinkers and leaders that come from out of nowhere. There’s some appropriate panic about their progress in many areas, but I just don’t believe in ‘capitalism with socialist Chinese characteristics’. The idea that they will just steamroll the world is far fetched imo.
Ademonera
4mo ago
I find it interesting how things come to be a narrative about a ‘problem’. Journalists love to see a couple of vaguely related events and group them together. I remember how all the MeToo accusations came out at once and it became a thing that everyone was concerned with. I haven’t seen much, if any, attempt to pull together a narrative about the violence this and last year. Despite the reasons for much of this violence being fame, definitional terrorism, and weird alliances to online bedfellows.
I will admit that it’s difficult to directly link all the events over last year or two, but some of it sure seems memetic. Attempted assassination of a presidential candidate, his lackey, a healthcare ceo, to name a few. What’s it gonna take for people to notice?
Ademonera
4mo ago
I think for effortpost, I try to throw internet slang into things to make it interesting. Your definition of that phrase is more accurate than the way I used it. I couldn’t think of anything better but it sounded funny.
I think honestly the disjointed references and unclear organization of thoughts is evidence it was truly typed out by me. I didn’t use any LLMs to make the initial draft. I will say I use LLMs every single day for 8 hours so it very well could be that I’m picking up on their quirks in my writing — — —. Some of my older comments are more obvious. My deep dive into Taylor Lorenz show the most obvious LLM usage. I used them as well to grab references of left wing antisemitic attacks, which was posted in quality contributions. But here I think the tone has obvious misunderstanding and flow that would not be typical of an LLM logically progressing to a conclusion.
I think educators are having the same struggle. I also believe it’s nearly impossible to detect ai writing unless providers introduce watermarks, which they seem resistant to for now.
But yeah lesson learned. I don’t really type my thoughts out anywhere except here so I’m not great at using LLMs very effectively and subtly. Also there are apparently self published books with prompts to fix writing left in by accident.
Going forward will shoot from the hip and effortpost without questionable help
Ademonera
4mo ago
Please read pre ai draft above - I wanted to start a conversation on a topic, most of which was mine. I don’t love that some hallmarks of ai came out, but it really was mostly editing.
Ademonera
4mo ago
This was my draft prior to AI review. It sucks getting this kind of flack from mods and posters but do realize that the post is probably 85% my thinking with minor edits. I think you might realize the assessment is a bit harsh:
Review this post for the Motte given widespread EU/US dynamic on twitter in last 2 days:
Europeans are effortposting on X and it centers around a 150 million dollar fine apparently for how they changed the blue checkmark and not allowing api access for researchers. But it comes at a time when Europeans are bearing down on Musk for not curating feeds based on the opinions of paid misinformation deciders, a position invented in 2016.
I think it’s a real bad look for Europe to be falling behind China and the US economically and also acting as major regulators of companies they can’t build themselves. Their posture has become so unfriendly to business that Apple just doesn’t release some features for Europeans anymore. Jamie Dixon just sounded the alarm on their economic policies dragging down their ability to innovate.
My impressions online of European bureaucrats in the last 24 hours have been of a hulking regulatory body with a bunch of snooty has-beens. This European economic, Robin Brooks, has been noting too that their actions don’t match the rhetoric on things like Ukraine, buying endless amounts of Russian oil etc.
The free speech thing is really annoying too. I was surprised to see Trump hold back on this when meeting PM Starmer in Scotland when asked about it. There is a real difference in free speech that means as an American I can feel comfortable expressing myself without fear that some busybody will come knock on my door.
It’s upsetting because while things may have been much less turbulent under Harris, I’m truly glad that the attempts to codify a global regime of acceptable online speech over last X years has met resistance. It’s odd to think that there would have been a unification of efforts on this front under her.
Europe is and always will be our friend but they’re not on their game right now and the snooty reactions are distasteful.
Ademonera
4mo ago
Also Gemini 3 still does the em dash thing, obviously. I removed two of them but hey I’m only human (?)
Ademonera
4mo ago
Hey it’s not slop right? Mods I openly admit having Gemini check my rough drafts and rewrite them (with light touches after to remove most of the ai hallmarks). I provide it a ChatGPT report on sources and current events to ensure the references are clear. I feel that this is a good way to clear up my thoughts, make them more organized and coherent, and provide higher quality than I would otherwise. I try to have it maintain my original tone where possible.
I don’t think I am outsourcing my thinking or perspective to AI but using it to improve my thinking. If I’m reprimanded for it, that’s fair. I feel I’m contributing good faith, honest arguments and will stop if told to do so.
Ademonera
4mo ago
Europeans are effortposting on X right now, centering around a reported $140 million fine apparently for how X changed the blue checkmark and restricted API access to researchers. But this comes at a time when Europeans are bearing down on Musk for not curating feeds based on the opinions of paid 'misinformation experts', an industry effectively invented post-2016 election.
It is a terrible look for Europe. They are falling behind China and the US economically while acting as the global regulators for industries they are no longer capable of building themselves. Their posture has become so hostile to business that Apple is now withholding major features from the European market. Jamie Dimon just sounded the alarm on how their hulking regulatory regime is dragging down their ability to innovate, warning that they’ve effectively driven investment out.
My impression of European bureaucrats in the last 24 hours is of a body staffed by a bunch of snooty has-beens. The economist Robin Brooks has been noting the deep hypocrisy here too: their moralizing doesn't match their actions on things like Ukraine, given they are still buying endless amounts of Russian oil via backchannels and refineries in places like India.
The free speech thing is really annoying too. I was actually surprised to see Trump hold back on this when meeting PM Starmer in Scotland. There is a real and serious difference in free speech between our nations. As an American, I can express myself without fear that some busybody will knock on my door.
It’s upsetting because while things might have been less turbulent under Harris, I’m truly glad that the attempt to codify a global regime of 'acceptable' online speech has met resistance. It’s odd to think that we nearly saw a unification of US/EU efforts on this front, importing their safetyism to our shores.
Europe is and always will be our friend, but they’re not on their game right now. The reactions aren't principled—they’re distasteful.
Ademonera
4mo ago
I found it distasteful to see edgy left wing people embrace that. I’m really hoping this has come to a close, between the United Healthcare thing, the Trump attempted assasination, and Charlie Kirk. There was a LOT of wink wink nudge nudge, subtle endorsements of these tactics I saw online when they happened.
It’s especially concerning when things like this spread like a social contagion but I’m hopeful that this period of historical political violence has come to a close. I really don’t want to see the troubles pt 2 and a justified militarization of society.
Ademonera
4mo ago
I’ve thought about this a lot. I still think the left has not come to terms with their rhetoric inspiring violence against the current president and a major supporter of his.
Unlike hand wavy ‘Bush is stupid’ stuff, the rhetoric became ‘save our democracy’ and ‘defeat fascism’. Wrt to the Charlie Kirk event, it’s just undeniable that highly online trans groups perpetuate rhetoric that is about genocide (not to mention there’s another intersection where the idea is supporting trans politics stop people from killing themselves). I think it’s fair to say that, along the lines in this conversation where violence becomes acceptable given a certain level of ‘evil’, persuading people that a political faction is evil will result in violence.
I really don’t think there’s an equivalent on the right. The idea is preserving order through continuity, in principle. There’s no appetite for revolution through targeted violence - while people like Hasan and Taylor Lorenz look lovingly at gruesome events meant to send a message. In no sense do I want someone to do anything to Hasan Piker - if he wants to be a sinoboo and praise violence / terrorist groups, that’s a choice he’ll probably regret in time. But at most I’d like to see him face career or legal repercussions, as detestable as I find him.
Ademonera
5mo ago
I dunno I think there’s a real difference between republican staffers knowing who he is and subscribing to his ideology. There’s been a lot of talk here about how people grew up on 4chan etc seeing very racist stuff - I tend to think exposure to the guy who says ‘your body my choice’ makes you moderate your opinions, in most cases.
Truly I think the right is probably just getting used to time in the sunlight after all these years of being confined to edgy humor in forums. A lot of people have seen really radical stuff online and most people are still pretty normal, all things considered.
Ademonera
5mo ago
It is funny to me that for a lot of people in their 20s and 30s, it’s much more about vibes than policy. It’s about the aesthetics and what’s popular and chic vs what’s not. Terminally online people just want to feel smart and or different than the masses because of their views. Being a Bernie bro was a good way to signal you were different 10 (ten!) years ago but that’s died off. Reddit like 20 years ago was all libertarians. All the rose and watermelon emoji people on twitter trying to outdo each other retweeting mutual aid sob stories.
It became unchic to be woke and frankly more counterculture to be kinda right wing in the early 2020s. Dasha from red scare used to be known for being the vocal fry sailor socialist and now she’s full bore right wing. After Obama the left really lost its legs for getting people excited about normie politics.
I don’t know where I’m going with this but I think there’s a pretty big group of people that just go with what makes them feel smart, in a community, and sometimes against some greater force (peak woke etc). I think people in this group are really malleable depending on the current moment, myself included.
Dunno if the parties have fully adapted to that yet but republicans are sure onboard with trying to capitalize on the aesthetic wins with DHS vaporwave halo ads.
Ademonera
5mo ago
I think one thing that could prove true is that, after some soul-searching, liberals will realize the legal pursuits against Trump emboldened his movement and gave it the life it needed for his re-election.
For the longest time, Trump claimed that everyone was out to get him and that he was being persecuted. Even after the impeachments and January 6, I never really bought it. Mitch McConnell said that “former Presidents are not immune from being held accountable by either one” (criminal justice system or civil litigation). Biden’s DOJ had the only legitimate path for ‘lawfare’ and totally blew it. They had their big chance for like a year. He was dead in the water in 2022, paying something like $100 million a month in legal bills.
Then the civil suits and various trials all popped up within a year of the election and felt pretty hand-wavy. Even his felony conviction was unprecedented in legal theory, breaking federal election law at the state level by paying Stormy Daniels. Then his company gets put under conservatorship and every other day you’d hear about a 500 million dollar judgement. If not for winning the election, he’d have serious legal troubles to this day.
I was upset enough on the day of his indictment that I—along with a lot of others—contributed to his campaign. I believe Kamala has said something to the effect that some of this was counterproductive.
While there will never be another president quite like Trump, I have to believe they now understand how it all looked. For all the talk about Trump breaking norms, it’s got to be cognitive dissonance to (1) think “lock her up” in 2016 was a dangerous remark, and then (2) nine years later, campaign on throwing the former president in jail for whatever you can get him on.
I think it’ll be a live and let live thing. They tried this gambit and it did NOT work. It did not poll well for Kamala to say over and over how dangerous he was and laud her time as a prosecutor.
Ademonera
5mo ago
Yeah imo it’s great. Recommendations are solid and community playlists are really good. There’s a lot of edits that you can only find on YouTube, which is a nice bonus. Never used it for podcasts but I’m sure you can use it for ones that aren’t platform exclusive (and you can probably find a reup on YouTube anyways)
Ademonera
5mo ago
If you believe your time is worth money, it might be worth the tradeoff to not have to bother. My main thing is I use iOS where you can’t get vanced YouTube apk or whatever. Until recently, my whole family was under a premium plan until they started gating location of family organizer.
I use YouTube 100x more than HBO Max or anything else. I feel the current price point is worth not hassling with VPNs / ad blockers and knowing I’ll never see an ad on any device.
Ademonera
5mo ago
They’re getting progressively more aggressive on this front, though. It’s a cat and mouse game, so you may be right. Lately it sounds like they’ve been doing backend delays that force the duration of the ad to complete before you can view the video.
For those that just want to use the iOS app or use their TV’s built in app, it’s easier to stomach the $25 dollars a month. But I know a lot of people that won’t out of principle.
Ademonera
5mo ago
That’s a fair assessment. It used to be their bread and butter, but they smartly repositioned. I still contend it doesn’t look good for them to have lost this generation’s console war, the smartphone OS war, and seem to be resting on their laurels with Windows. It shows a lack of vision and inability to execute. There are still a billion some odd Windows users.
Personally I was hopeful that the TPM gating for Windows 11 was the start of more forceful control over hardware so they could do a massive change for Windows 12 that would move on from legacy components. But I understand that’s not what their customers want. It’s just too bad that Windows is in such a bad state.
I still really feel like the lack of developer interest in windows is a major problem. Apple may not have the sway to enforce a 30% commission on apps like they do on iOS, but their guidance for making macOS apps is generally followed. Their developer community cares enough to follow their design guidelines and put polish into their apps. I don’t see the same for windows apps - there’s no vision or optimism about where the platform is going. Compatibility with old hardware means you’re going to see a lot of apps with windows XP/vista UI if developers aren’t passionate about the platform.
What do you think of male-female dating dynamics relative to the culture war? I have a lot of thoughts on this but ultimately think the people worth pursuing are not crossing people off their list because they don’t believe in X or Y.
But it might be beyond your control. As an American, I remember swiping on tinder in London and seeing ‘Do not swipe if you are Republican’ but they replaced the word with something called the Tories. Clearly some people will only date people that share the same ideology. Which is fair if you want someone to nod along to whatever you say, I guess.
It gets tricky when you outright pretend to believe things you don’t. It’s not courageous or respectable. Not apologizing for what you believe is paramount to gaining the respect of your partner. Obviously, when I say this, I’m really talking about relatively conservative men dating liberal women. And honestly, except for far left people like Hasan piker that glorify violent revolution in such a way that they do a 360 and put off conservative ethos, I do think men women find attractive aren’t the male feminist, Bernie bro type. It’s almost like a yin and yang thing where you want some tension with your ideals.
Unlike religion, I really don’t see a need to agree with my SO on much of anything (odd to me that JD Vance and Usha married despite this). It’s sad to think that, on the spectrum of ‘not scaring the hoes’ political ideology, you could have a good thing with someone, say the wrong thing, and lose a relationship because of it.
Only thinking this because I’m coming to terms that I don’t necc need to date a based woman who appreciates old Sam Hyde stuff and edgy right wing leaning online happenings. I’d rather not select for political belief, find someone that will lightly argue with me, and has no interest in that stuff. Likewise, I’ll voice my opinion to her but not make fun of her for being on bluesky or whatever
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