Alabasata
6mo ago
I disagree with the framing of this. Problems abound, for sure. However, the only thing you can reasonably control is your actions. Everybody has a Zone of Action and a Zone of Concern. Many - if not most - people have a Zone of Influence.
The problem you seem to be describing is that your Zone of Concern is far larger than your Zone of Action or Influence. That area is the Donut of Despair. Minimizing your Donut of Despair is a sign of mental stability, and there are three ways to keep it small.
Grill-pilling decreases your Zone of Concern. It increases your Slack, but does not exercise your agency. But what if you were able to increase your Zone of Action or Zone of Influence? If you are also not comfortable with your level of agency, this is likely to be more effective for mental stability than grill-pilling.
News Problems will exist with or without you - for now. What if your agency was large enough that you could create News Problems for other people? How would that change your perception of problems?
Alabasata
5mo ago
I was one of the one-term-and-done enlisters, like my forefathers before me. Back in the 00s, we had similar problems with the anthrax vaccine. I think the strangest side effect of that round of shots was a new allergy to eggshells? I'm sure there were probably worse that existed, but this was what my cohort experienced. Most of the people who were most vocal to me about anthrax were also the least fit. I noticed this, got the shots, and kept my opinions to myself.
A 9/11 joiner in my circles literally walked away from retirement due to the Covid vaccine. While I do not agree with his decision, he approached it with an honor that I can respect. He also went through the anthrax bit, so I will eventually need to remind myself of his change in position.
I wish I could give more than anecdotes, but that's all I have to give.
Alabasata
3mo ago
I was in the backyard of my grieving stepbrother. He was a widower due to a vehicle accident and not even 40 yet. I hadn't seen him face-to-face in about 15 years. But we reconnected over video chat during the pandemic.
Because I knew I was only going to know our parents there, I made it my mission to talk to everyone & be curious about them. I had enough surface-level knowledge to engage with anyone. That caught the eye of the most bookish of the bunch, a coworker of the deceased.
Less than 2 years later we became parents, and she packed up her belongings and moved 1000 miles away to live with me. It's an imperfect arrangement, a local maxima, but it works for now.
Alabasata
8mo ago
Back in the 1970s, they saw sitcoms presenting the Hapless Husband. They listened to "Paradise By The Dashboard Light". They read about Billie Jean King's challenge and David Bowie's trysts. This isn't terribly different from gender roles and non-conformity today. Heck, you could go back to Chaucer's Wife of Bath. How different have things really gotten since then?
I suspect you'll see more of the same. People seeking novelty will gravitate to the Gender NonConforming (GNC). People who wish they had more will fight for their side of the fence. People concerned about keeping what they have will play concern troll. Professors will abuse their authority, and schoolmarms will abuse theirs. The cycle will remain unbroken.
Round and round we'll go - until medical tech figures out stuff the smut-writers on Fictionmania.tv have been dreaming about for decades. Now that will be a fun wrinkle.
Alabasata
5mo ago
I am trying to figure out what the "wrong side of European history" means. In the American sense, it usually means "bad ideas that deserved to be crushed". In the European sense, I'm thinking more "unable to exercise one's advantages", as they were largely playing from the same ideological rulebook.
(I hope I'm wrong about this, and look forward to any effortpost this inspires.)
Alabasata
5mo ago
Other potential answers, since we're brainstorming.
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The talent isn't there. White male actors may be pursuing longer-term roles, not ad spots. The revenue per hour for ads may be only worthwhile if one is modeling/acting as a side gig. Career models/actors may not be interested in bit parts. There may not be room/budget for a Jim Varney these days.
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You are consuming media not meant for 'valuable white men' to consume. 18-30 men are being given mass-market brands to remember when they finally earn real disposable income. After aging out of that demographic, the rules change for which white men to pursue. If you don't have an expensive hobby, you may not be worth targeting.
Alabasata
3mo ago
Let's see if rephrasing this helps.
If "none of the above" were allowed to win, I'd be okay with selecting that more often. If you're stuck picking which color boot is going to be on our necks - and that's the world we live in - then I'm going to pick the color that matches my hair.
Alabasata
3mo ago
I'm with you on the "this is just gut feeling with extra steps" observation. I think people were just impressed by the thought that went into the Drake Equation & forgot to understand that it's still just a thought experiment. Unlike other equations with solutions, it has no predictive power.
It's the best tool they have, they don't appreciate the limits of it, and we all know what happens when all you have is a hammer.
Alabasata
3mo ago
Father here. Part of my job is to set her up for good partnerships.This requires her to be attentive, attractive, and to have a good social filter.
There will always be a fraction of people who are okay with jerking it to kids. I have no interest in adapting the Fast Bear Rule: making my daughter uglier/less available so pervs find a different girl. She will develop a filter & practice it like any other skill.
If I've done my job right, she won't have to worry about pedos. She just won't see them as legitimate options.
Alabasata
8mo ago
Alabasata
1yr ago
Well, the original plot of Comix Zone was pretty darn thin. "Beat up your own creations, save the girl." Being faithful to the game in total wouldn't be creating anything worth keeping.
Why not add a diversity hire? Wouldn't that make it even more 90s?
Alabasata
1mo ago
If you focus on the gaps, you'll see gaping maws everywhere. An incel may see all the reasons why they're undateable. A Black-pilled HBDer may see themselves as inherently slower.
If they can't start with seeing themselves from their strengths, they are unlikely to grow into the best they can be.
I know many retired E-9s of color. The oldest is a Vietnam veteran. He needed help taking the placement test in the way his white peers did. After he got that help, he did the right thing and passed it down to his mentees. It's not just innate intelligence that gets passed down, but also experience. Experience, expectations, and emotions.
There's a strain of community activism called Asset Based Community Development. Like many programs, they started with the initials (ABCD) and made a bacronym. Unlike many other programs, they prefer a bottom-up approach. They assume people, all people - limited though they may be - have put in the work to get good at something. Good enough that they should be valued.
I don't know what your life goals like like. You may not reach the intellectual & career heights of people that we write about. (SPOILERS: most of us here won't either.) But if you can operate in your zone of excellence, and help a brother or two get at least half as good as you are - that's still a life of positive impact.
Alabasata
3mo ago
Meet People IRL
Frankly this approach seems dead in the water in this day and age. The only reliable way to meet people in person anymore has been, in my experience, through academia.
Our experiences do not match. Granted, I am not an academic. Meeting people in that setting is not my idea of a good time. Instead of talking about sustainability theory at some convention, I'd rather hang out with likeminded people ripping out decorative bushes and planting a food forest. People who are capable of Doing The Damn Work are my people.
Filtering out the flakes (men and women) who RSVP but don't attend makes the selection process for who to associate with so much easier. I'm not sure how that translates to your areas of preference. Hopefully, you can connect the dots there.
Alabasata
3mo ago
So I've made a lot of headway into my local neighborhood. Next month, I'm set to join the board of my neighborhood organization. I'm replacing a member who has too many commitments. (Note: this neighborhood does not have an HOA, so membership is voluntary.) I'm also the volunteer webmaster, so thankfully I get to structure how our online real estate looks and feels.
My goals as a board member are twofold:
- Provide good reasons to be a member.
- Replace the membership that has dropped off in the past 10 years. We just built a bunch of apartment complexes; surely some of them are civic-minded enough to want to participate.
Out of curiosity: what would be some good reasons to join a group that reviews building permits, holds open meetings with bureaucrats and local elected officials, and serves cheap chicken dinners to dues-paying members?
Hell of a selling proposition, I know.
Better yet, what more would we need to do to make it worth leaving your residence on a Thursday night? Y'know, instead of being here on The Motte with you fine folk? 🙂
Alabasata
5mo ago
I wasn't reading comics when Dave Sim went over the deep end during his Cerebus run. But I did see Ishida skew his views over the years. And Jon Schaffer go from "historical re-ennactment" metal to 6Jan attender. I guess if you're going to be playing with ideological tropes in your day-to-day work, you're likely to get changed by them.
I - for one - am thankful I never made a career out of being creative. Probably would have been at least as insufferable as these folk.
Alabasata
11mo ago
Friday is my last day as an 811 utility locator. There are a lot of reasons I'm leaving the job behind: contractors abusing the free service, no reasonable opportunities for additonal training or advancement, out-of-touch upper management. I am accepting a position as a engineering locator that is a double-edged sword: I'm effectvely taking a paycut because there's less overtime available.
Thankfully, my budget is at a surplus of $1500/month, so I can currently afford the hit. However, I ought to figure out how to do more valuable things...and I am just at a complete loss on a path forward.
If there is anyone else here who is construction-adjacent and can offer some advice on how to clear six figures within 5 years, I'd love to hear it.
Alabasata
3mo ago
Seth Kaplan's "Fragile Neighborhoods". Heard him interview on a couple of my podcast subscriptions: Stacking Benjamins and Strong Towns. Surprisingly easy to breeze through the first 50 pages where he makes his case. But it's only easy because it's either referencing a whole bunch of stuff I've already heard before or telling stories I'm inclined to believe. For instance, Trump's support in the 2016 primaries being heaviest among the disconnected and disaffected, and the unsourced claim that most money America spends on foreign aid doesn't end up where it's supposed to go.
This would probably be a much different experience if I were to take the time to backtrace all of his citations. I am not that sort of man these days. But I am noting that I feel like he's saying things I should look deeper into, because something is probably being smuggled.
But that was Part 1. Part 2 ought to set the stage for where to work in neighborhoods, and Part 3 plans to tackle the how.
I saw the trailer for this conference. This was held last year in Austin. I am a father, and before I was a father I could not have afforded a trip to attend this. I expect their target audience are HENRYs & PMCs, not tradesman.
I've wanted to be a father for a very long time. I could imagine my kids, but for a very long time I couldn't picture the woman who would want to have mine. After I bought a house, I couldn't find a local woman who wanted my children.
I don't care how beautiful the rhetoric is. They're not talking to me. I already kinda buy in, but I'm not who they want to sign on.
It sucks to be looked past. And I recognize Sean Hannity in the series of audio quotes. "Beyond politics", my ass.
Alabasata
28d ago
We are kinda in an anomolous time. The ratio of median home price:median income is in uncharted territory. Granted, this is a national ratio, so local market movement is a huge factor.
Without major amounts of extra supply coming on your local market or an exodus when Lake Mead runs dry, I don't see a regression to the mean happening any time soon. It's a hard choice, given your increase in housing cost.
Alabasata
1yr ago
The War on Christmas will continue until the merchandise retreats from November.
Alabasata
3mo ago
Unfortunately, "none of the above" is not an option at the polls. Until that's the case, my default option is "someone will win this election, and the consequences of who wins is directly proportional to my likelihood of voting".
Alabasata
3mo ago
I'm a fan of absurd YouTube titles. It mixes the routine of the "same old workout" with "new thing to hear". Keeps the boredom at bay.
Alabasata
3mo ago
This sounds like a great time to talk about our panics when dating.
Here's a fun one for you. Have you ever been out for a drive with a woman, limp as a wet noodle, and it is only after she leaves that you get erect? This happened with one woman who I met while hawking meats at a grocery store.
Have you ever had your leg suddenly shake uncontrollably when both your pants are off? This happened with a woman that I used to know back in my freshman year of high school, that I reconnected with in my early 20s.
Have you ever accidentally eaten so much at a date, all your blood rushes up into your stomach - leaving you unable to escalate the rapport? This happened after meeting a woman on a flight home from a job interview.
Guys, I have fucked up so much due to anxiety and inability to predict my own biology. It's kind of a wonder I managed to have kids at all.
If you're failing, at least it means you're trying.
I bought my house in 2018 and refinanced in 2021. If I were working the same job I was then - today - I could not afford to buy the house I now occupy. Wouldn't even be close to qualifying.
My fellow line workers are in far more precarious financial situations than I am. It is not their fault. If the wage-to-property-value ratios were restored to pre-pandemic levels, I'd be inclined to agree with you. But they are not, so I cannot.
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