AvocadoPanic
No bio...
User ID: 550
pretty pathetic
DeSantis would be better inside the Trump tent. Not as VP, but as AG.
Trump, DeSantis and TBD VP campaigning together would be, the best campaign ever.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
Who would the Biden administration put in charge to signal they're fully invested in a positive outcome?
Is there a deep bench of competent capable people they've kept concealed or are busy work on all of their success like the war in The Ukraine, relations with China, or inflation?
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
A lot of what you wrote in your OP resonated with me and I could see my younger self in much of it. My middle son, has an autism diagnoses . Many of areas where he struggles I also struggle(d).
I have work friends, and a few local friends, but I'd describe my wife as my best friend. When I was younger and single I had 'friends' to go out to pubs or clubs / dinner with, but none I'd describe as deep friendships and most involved some amount of alcohol.
16 - 26 was sort of a lost decade for me. Too much drinking, in spite of some negative consequences. Often drinking more than I wanted or had planned. Too much time in my own head. Lots of short 'relationships' that I seemed to stumble into and out of. Some sexual confusion, we called it expirementation at the time. There were periods of couch surfing. My family situation was unhelpful.
Following a series of professional setbacks (.com bust / airlines tanking after 9/11) I decided I needed a major change. I moved to Eastern Europe to teach English as a foreign language. Made an effort to drink less, spend more time outside and less in my head. Set short term goals, sometimes small ones, that would move me in the direction of long term goals. I tried to view the 'now' as an opportunity to setup future AvocadoPanic for success or failure. The chief long-term goal I set during this time was to be married before I was 30. While drinking less my libido returned, which while at times was uncomfortable, made it easier to identify women I was attracted to. I made an effort to meet women. I would become a regular places that women in the target cohort frequented. I did my best to be friendly an affable. Trying to be a good listener meant I had to talk less. If eye contact was too much I would look at their mouths or the center of their foreheads, I still worried at times if I was making too much or not enough 'eye contact'. I also tended to select locations that were dimmly lit or had pronounced shadows. Once I started viewing this as practice / developing a sociability skill set, the failures didn't bother me, it was all low stakes. I did initially struggle expressing my desire, most women still expected men to make the first move. Eventually one of these women I'd met in a pub, I encountered again at a birthday party. We married a bit less than 3 years later, 7 months before I turned 30.
Making friends seems to increase with difficulty as you age, especially for men. The most successful I've been has been through fraternal service organizations, Rotary, Lions Club, etc. I find the scheduled routine helpful. Meetings occur regularly, there's some structure, and there are opportunities for commitment / service. I find the routine easier to maintain if I feel slightly obligated to attend. Not all the local clubs will be the same, there were Rotary clubs I liked and some I didn't. Most of these traditional clubs welcome visitors and you can visit several to see if there's one you'd like. They're everywhere too, which if you move or relocate is very helpful.
Having children has also helped me meet people as there are lots of children's activities and parties where I can meet other dads.
We've also recently started attending church. Our local church aligns reasonably well our politics, there are no BLM, pride or Ukraine flags. I enjoy the fellowship and it's nice to meet similarly minded people from our town.
Professionally my work is uninspiring, but it allows me to support my family (just) in a mostly middle class lifestyle if we're careful and for my wife to be a homemaker. The work / life balance also allows me to be present nearly as much as I want for my wife and children. I could perhaps increase my income if I were will to adjust that balance. The 'politics' at work I still find confusing and somewhat difficult to navigate. I've found The Gervais Principle to be an accurate description of most of the larger organizations I've worked in. I don't believe that the guys adept at office politics or making more money are significantly happier or have better lives than I do.
You've mentioned the illegality of psychedelics several times, why do you see this as an impediment? Psychedelic mushrooms are easy to grow. There are jurisdictions where some psychedelics are permitted.
I typically prefer weed (cannabis) to alcohol now. Though I'm glad I didn't start as a teen. I don't think it would have been good for me.
Other than the gym and bicycling, what activities do you do regularly? Are there any that you particularly enjoy or have a talent for? Have you considered a cycle club?
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
feel kind of stuck in life and I don’t see any good options on how I can fix the major problems in my life.
Stuck how? How do you feel your life would be different if you weren't stuck?
What are the major problems?
Do you have any goals you're currently working towards?
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
fundamentally change who they are
In terms of fundamental change, happy as I am, seems a lesser / smaller change than the alternative.
I would think a pill to cure homosexuals would be popular. Though I can imagine there would be opposition. There's opposition by some in the deaf community to cochlear implants.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
If technology is that sufficiently advanced we could presume there'd be a 'cure' for this population to allow them to be happy with their natal bodies.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
You'd still have whatever mental issues made them want to transition.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
Are you like me also waiting for lust month and gluttony month?
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
It was also a case solved by The Bloodhound Gang on 3-2-1 Contact.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
How much agency can someone called by destiny to save the world from evil with their supernatural powers have?
The universe inhabited by many superheroes with innate powers often don't allow for much agency. That these characters as portrayed also often lack dimension doesn't help.
Non-powered superheroes frequently have more agency, Batman, Ironman. They use their wealth and intellect.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
NAACP was founded in 1909
Yes and practiced lawfare and lobbying for 55 years prior to the CRA of 1964. It wasn't non-elites arguing these cases.
overturning the social order that was Jim Crow
If your criteria for success of an act of congress is that it makes illegal the behavior you don't like, I guess it's it's been a success.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
children should be catereted to when making a family movie
Also their most likely heterosexual parents, I'd be more inclined to take my kids if everyone is easy on the eyes.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
Buffy
How much agency did Buffy have? She didn't choose to be the slayer, nor was she the 'brains' of the operation.
How do you put a female protagonist in a story
Give her visions from God, Jeanne d’Arc style.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
girlboss feminism
respect or admire or empathize with a woman on the basis of her actions in the world or the way she wields power
Only very rarely. Does Phyllis Schlafly count?
More often I find the choices made by girl bossing feminists to only be coherent in the context of girl bossing feminism, which I find to be a poor fit for our consensus reality.
I see it leading to poor outcomes and don't entirely understand why otherwise seemingly intelligent women that take this path fail to see the deep tail 'success' they believe has been promised is rare.
It's my perception of her poor choices that precludes my respect for actions.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
speech patterns and tics
Would you also include vocal fry and upspeak as examples of this?
successful social revolution in history
Successful it what sense?
It's not done much for black family formation.
was not the doing of elites
Have noticed the coincidence of the non-black founders of organizations like the NAACP?
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
people will malfunction
I see this as a feature not a bug.
Also there are both meanings of homo in the outcomes of globohomo.
terrible idea
said nothing
I see at least one or two bad to terrible ideas a week. I don't have the political capital, emotional energy, or fucks to give to say something for every bad idea. At best I can prevent the ones that impact me, my team, and my immediate manager.
There's often no reward for the prevention of failure of others.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
Tell me globohomo ruins travel without saying globohomo.
If skiing is an interest I've found the https://snowheads.com/ forum to be very useful especially for Europe.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
sterilize criminals
You'd need to get them early. Offer vasectomies as the diversion program for first-time violent offenders, or accept nominations into the program from their high schools or truant officers.
more broadly palatable options
I may be misremembering. I seem to recall a minor skirmish in the 90's culture wars around billboards in California that were advertising cash payments for volunteering to be sterilized.
It seems we pay the underclass to reproduce now, would we see better outcomes if we paid them not to?
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
parents of politically salient skin color
Worse, the system is redesigned to not punish anyone. Not the dumb black kids, dumb Hispanic kids or dumb white kids.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
My experience has been:
shift over time, with the woman beginning to express right-wing opinions and either not noticing or not acknowledging the way in which these opinions contradict her earlier views
There is no difference between those two things
sustainable if the woman does not have a larger social sphere of women who will reinforce progressive views
This seems to lessen, as she finds and identifies with other non-progressive women.
AvocadoPanic
2yr ago
It's a career that often doesn't map well to home / family life. Before we moved, looking at her senior colleagues we were hard pressed to find success stories, large families, intact marriages and successful careers.
It would have been nice for her to have the option. Though I think the money can be kind of a trap too. As DINK we didn't really have to think much about our spending. Now we're much more aware, and watch more closely.
Is the problem with Hati, alignment with Russia a coup will solve?
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