HereAndGone2
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User ID: 4074
His wife would be more attracted to him if he indicates that he's looking around for a chance to cheat on her?
One of us is mistaken in our views of how women behave!
Look, these are (1) friends of wife (2) lesbians/bisexuals (3) possibly some indication of a crush at one time on wife. She's mildly flattered but not interested by the idea, and is happy to maintain a friendship with them. Then out of the blue comes "we want your husband to give us a kid" and the offer comes from the bisexual member. Husband does not (if I'm taking the right interpretation here) immediately respond with shock and horror and flee into the night to preserve his virtue, but admits on here that yeah he's kinda into the idea.
I very much doubt missus would be happy for another woman to be this upfront about taking her husband, especially if the impression missus had was that one or both of the ladies was interested in her, and I very seriously doubt missus would be delighted to learn husband was already thinking about putting it about, even if that was only on a theoretical level. And the end result will be to produce a kid, which may well have a demand on husband's time/money/attention and will be a rival to her own kids.
(A) They're out in public, hot woman subtly indicates interest in husband, husband seems not to notice, goes home with wife, is clueless when wife says "so about that hot woman..." "what hot woman?" Result: yeah she may well in that case "love the reminder that their man is attractive and desirable to other women", because there's no real danger of a rival there.
(B) They're invited over by friends who make the request that husband father a child on one of them, husband is signifying some level of interest, now there is a real danger of a rival or replacement here. Result: wife is not going to be happy about this scenario.
HereAndGone2
22d ago
America, the land of opportunity, where anyone can make it big!
HereAndGone2
22d ago
I should clarify that I'm in Ireland, not America, but I do find it hard to believe that American community services getting government (be that local or national) funding don't have to comply with broadly the same checks we do.
If you really can set up a "childcare centre" with no kids and get $$$$$ for it from the grateful local government, we are definitely all in the wrong lines of work.
HereAndGone2
22d ago
Not alone that, this is money supposedly going to the needy, and this means the needy are left unserved and in want, while some people are enriching themselves hand over fist. It's screwing everybody over - the taxpayers, the honest people working in these fields, the people who really do need and deserve the services.
HereAndGone2
22d ago
Are such investigations downstream of DOGE etc. querying of government spending? That is, would they be happening if Trump wasn't in office and it was President Kamala and VP Tim?
I have a depressing notion this is so, and I would like to be proven wrong (honestly!)
HereAndGone2
22d ago
My main question is how the hell did they pull this off? I work in a childcare service that receives government funding (along with charging parents fees) and it is one massive pain in the backside keeping track of all the paperwork (needing to be filed online through the national service provider portal for Early Years Programmes) to receive said funding.
It is not as simple as "hello, yes, we have 200 kids attending 5 days a week for 5 hours each at $30 per hour, this is our bank account number, kthxbai". We get inspected by a couple of different bodies. We get surprise inspected/mini-audited and we damn well better have all our ducks in a row. If it turned out "why no, there aren't 200 kids attending 5 days a week for 5 hours each", we'd be slapped down in a hot minute, the excess funding would be clawed back, and we might get shut down for good measure.
There must be more to the story than this. Otherwise it sounds like a counterpart to Rotherham: people had suspicions stuff was going on, but some people higher up the food chain shut down any awkward questions because that would sound like racism.
Doesn't reflect well on Governor Tim either, the man put forward as part of the Dream Team to save the nation from Orange Man Bad, much lauded for being the progressive governor of a well-run state.
About to read, when I get the chance, "Lying in Early Modern English Culture: From the Oath of Supremacy to the Oath of Allegiance" by Andrew Hadfield thanks to a link from another book I just finished, "Thomas More: A Life and Death in Tudor England" by Joanne Paul.
Lest this give the impression that I'm very scholarly in my reading, the book I finished reading last night was an anthology of horror stories dating from the 1920s to 2000 from British Library collections, "The Wayfarer’s Weird: Wild Tales of Uncanny Rambles". Christmas and ghost stories go hand-in-hand!
EDIT: Part of the fun of the More book, for a certain definition of "fun", is reading about his trial for refusing to swear the oath about the Act of Succession (passed to make any children by Anne Boleyn the legitimate heirs to the throne and bypass his daughter by Katherine of Aragon), which involved the vexed question of the king's marriage and Act of Supremacy. More was condemned to death as a traitor for refusing to swear.
A year later, that same queen and marriage and child was all up in the air as Anne Boleyn was tried and executed, her marriage annulled, her child declared a bastard, by the king who had caused More's death.
HereAndGone2
22d ago
Dude, while you may be somewhat tongue-in-cheek with your response, things can go south fast where relationships are concerned.
From a job years back working in social housing, did we get to hear some stories about the clients!
For example, here's Ms A and Ms B (not gay married yet, as gay marriage wasn't legal in my country just then). Ms A had been married to a guy, then came out as lesbian down the track and split up. Took up with Ms B and they lived happily as a happy gay couple.
Mr and Mrs C moved in next door and they became friends and all was hunky-dory for a while. Until Mr C ran off with Ms B to Australia, leaving behind Ms A and Mrs C, the aggrieved spouses who had not seen this coming.
Just imagine the mess if a kid had been involved.
Do not encourage this guy to start spreading his seed around because the women of the world deserve to have his babies. It will blow up in his face.
HereAndGone2
23d ago
Yeah, I don't have a ton of leftovers this year, but enough to do all the week and between all the sweets, crisps, cakes, etc. we got from work and gifts, no need to buy any goodies for a month!
HereAndGone2
23d ago
surely there's a rank order you can produce.
Surely you'll walk into my parlour, said the spider to the fly.
HereAndGone2
23d ago
Pretty much any version of the Tantum Ergo, so long as it doesn't get too baroque. The O Antiphons of Arvo Part, even though we're into Christmastide now and well out of Advent. Of course the Miserere by Allegri (even if revisions over 'is this the original original version or not?')
Video game music - from Path of Exile, Church Dungeon. Got killed a few times here because so distracted by listening to the music 😁 Reworked version of this.
HereAndGone2
23d ago
"The hot lesbian couple who my wife knows asked the most amazing thing... clearly it's true that the right man can turn 'em straight!"
HereAndGone2
23d ago
Does OP or his family have any pet rabbits?
Oh you sweet summer child. Okay, this is from the UK, but "good lawyers were involved"? 🤣 Yeah, and if mom decides she wants/needs you to contribute, good lawyers will also be involved there, too.
The Child Support Agency (CSA) has demanded child support payments from a man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple to conceive two children. The couple have since split up and the biological mother, Terri Arnold, claims she is unable to work because her second child suffers from a disability that requires regular hospital visits.
Andy Bathie, 37, from North London, claims he was assured by the couple that he would have no personal or financial involvement in the children's lives. The firefighter is now having his pay docked by the CSA despite the fact that he has no legal rights over the children. Rejecting claims that Mr Bathie is being unfairly treated, Ms Arnold told GMTV on Tuesday that although the couple did initially make such an assurance, he had changed his mind and had seen her daughter one weekend every month for two years.
Mr Bathie agreed to donate his sperm to the couple as a friend rather than go through a fertility clinic after they approached him five years ago following their marriage in a civil ceremony. However, only men who donate sperm through a licensed fertility clinic are not the legal father of any child born. A spokeswoman for the CSA said: "Unless a child is legally adopted, both biological parents are financially responsible for their child - the Child Support Agency legislation is not gender or partnership based.
Only anonymous sperm donors at licensed centres are exempt from being treated as the legal father. This does not apply to men who donate sperm as part of a personal arrangement."
The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill, currently before the House of Lords, proposes to recognise same-sex couples who marry in civil partnerships as equal parents of children conceived through sperm donation.
This is from Sweden:
A court in Sweden has ruled that a man who donated sperm for artificial insemination, enabling a lesbian couple to have three children, must pay child support after the two women separated.
The regional daily Nerikes Allehanda newspaper reported on its website that a county court ruled that the man was undoubtedly the children's biological father and hence obliged to pay child support of nearly €300 per month after the women's 10-year relationship broke up.
The verdict poses a legal dilemma, however, because under Swedish law a sperm donor is not regarded as the legal parent of children conceived with the help of his semen.
Sperm donors are normally strictly anonymous, but in this case the man was a friend of the couple, and his identity as the father is in no doubt. The man has appealed.
And there are American cases as well:
One case out of Pennsylvania concerned a man who donated sperm to a friend. Carl Frampton was close to the woman he donated his sperm to, and, he didn't just donate sperm. He provided limited financial support and developed an interest in the children, reports the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. The court eventually ordered child support.
Similarly, in New Mexico, a man was ordered to pay $250 a month in child support. Kevin Zoernig donated his sperm to a lesbian couple. The insemination was conducted informally, and Zoernig acted as the donor.
Zoernig, however, also did not just act as the donor. The children stay with him every other weekend during the school year and half of the time during summers, according to Fox News.
These cases seem to show that courts can order sperm donors to pay child support. On the other hand, it also appears like courts are only doing so when the donor has a higher-level relationship with the family or the children.
So if you have anything to do with the kid, and it would be hard not to given that everyone would be 'good friends' and living nearby, then you are likely to be on the hook for financial contributions.
I'm laughing about the lawyers bit because I remember, years and years back, reading reports of a court case. Lesbian couple went to court with heart-rending story about wanting non-biological mom on the birth certificate. She is my partner and as much a parent to this child as I am, sobbed biological mom, and their lawyers wrung every drop of pathos out of it that they could.
Okay, judge rules that law can be changed and non-bio parents put on birth certificate.
Fast-forward a few years. Couple have split up. Now biological mom goes to court to get ex-partner off the birth certificate because (I'm paraphrasing here) no way that bitch is having anything to do with my kid, she's nothing to us.
Law in these instances means whatever they want it to mean. Don't bet your life on "but we had a contract!"
HereAndGone2
23d ago
where some of that warmth in feeling will translate to the kid
That is the big problem here, though. "Sure I'll knock you up, but that's it, kid is a stranger to me thereafter" is one possibility. "Kid is not a stranger, wife and existing kids resent the hell out of this situation" is another. "Wants to be involved in kid's life, moms don't want that" a third. "Wants to be involved in kid's life, mom of kid okay with that, wife of mom emphatically not okay because oh, so this is why you were so eager to have him knock you up, huh? guess it's true what they say about bisexuals!"
And that's before we get into "and we all live in the same neighbourhood and people are gonna notice kid looks like me and tongues are gonna wag" down the line.
HereAndGone2
23d ago
You can't really sign away parental rights/responsibilities; courts routinely compare a child's interests against contractual statements and throw the paper away. That's unlikely to come up, given the background you've mentioned here, but it's potentially very expensive -- and worse, may be something you'll constantly be weighing when considering things like offering to babysit the kid even if you ultimately decide to help out.
Oh yeah. Eighteen years down the line, Baby is now old enough for college, "well seeing as how you're the dad and we're all such close friends, of course you'll help out, right?" and that's just if nothing else crops up (such as medical expenses) in the interval.
HereAndGone2
23d ago
I mean, yeah, it's adultery but given OP didn't even mention that, I don't think this is the sort of Christian he is. So appeals to traditional morality don't seem relevant here.
Aside from that, this is a very, very, very bad idea and someone in another comment raised questions of inheritance. You have no idea the amount of warfare that happens over wills in families. This would be his kid and thus, depending on the laws of the particular state, entitled to a share of the estate upon OP's death. Is his name going to be on the birth certificate? If there are lawyers involved with contracts pre-conception, no way he can later duck out of "that's not my kid, I have no idea what they're talking about". If he wants bloody war among his kids, his widow, their half-sibling and half-sib's mother, then this is a great way to set it up.
Immediate reaction? HOLY CRAP NO! This is the perfect storm for blowing up your life, you and your wife's marriage, and the lesbian couple relationship. If you and your family remain friends with this couple, how are you going to introduce the kid to your kids? Or do you intend to pretend this child is not related to you? If Mom and Mom break up (and this happens) are you prepared to pay child support? Because forget any "oh but we got lawyers involved and there's a contract", that will be worth spit when she brings you to court to garnish your wages for the child you fathered in full knowledge and "the old-fashioned way" so you can't even argue it was anonymous sperm donation to unknown person(s).
There's a million ways this can go wrong and you making a joke of it to your wife is going to be marked as a red flag (so, what, you don't mind cheating on me? were you thinking of this before? were you thinking of her before?)
Let the friendship crash on the rocks if needs be, you have your marriage, wife and kids to think of.
I'm willing (and kinda want) to do this.
Hoo-boy. Hoo, hoo, hoo-boy. You just ran your head into the noose there about "well yeah I'm kinda hot for Bi Girl there, wifey, but don't worry, it'll just be meaningless hot fantasy sex with a lesbian, there won't be feelings involved". Better start looking up some expensive presents for your missus and pray to God she doesn't read anything posted here.
HereAndGone2
26d ago
And the same to you. Just finished cooking, serving up, and eating the dinner, so am now in a turkey-and-carbs stupor and noodling around online while I digest the meal and work up an appetite later on for "filling up the corners" 🎅
HereAndGone2
26d ago
It is depressing. The student really does need a rap over the knuckles for "the assignment was read the paper, you never read the paper". But giving zero for a topic that is relevant to the tutor/TA/whatever the position, is also going to look like bias. If, as claimed, other students have turned in equally crappy papers and not gotten zero grades, then it is unjustified. But I do think the student wants to be a martyr and now she has achieved her fifteen minutes of fame for "they persecuted me for being a Christian".
But to quote St. Clement of Alexandria, rashly running out to be persecuted is not true martyrdom, it is vainglory:
Now we, too, say that those who have rushed on death (for there are some, not belonging to us, but sharing the name merely, who are in haste to give themselves up, the poor wretches dying through hatred to the Creator )— these, we say, banish themselves without being martyrs, even though they are punished publicly. For they do not preserve the characteristic mark of believing martyrdom, inasmuch as they have not known the only true God, but give themselves up to a vain death, as the Gymnosophists of the Indians to useless fire.
...When, again, He says, When they persecute you in this city, flee to the other, He does not advise flight, as if persecution were an evil thing; nor does He enjoin them by flight to avoid death, as if in dread of it, but wishes us neither to be the authors nor abettors of any evil to any one, either to ourselves or the persecutor and murderer. For He, in a way, bids us take care of ourselves. But he who disobeys is rash and foolhardy. If he who kills a man of God sins against God, he also who presents himself before the judgment-seat becomes guilty of his death. And such is also the case with him who does not avoid persecution, but out of daring presents himself for capture. Such a one, as far as in him lies, becomes an accomplice in the crime of the persecutor. And if he also uses provocation, he is wholly guilty, challenging the wild beast. And similarly, if he afford any cause for conflict or punishment, or retribution or enmity, he gives occasion for persecution. Wherefore, then, we are enjoined not to cling to anything that belongs to this life; but to him that takes our cloak to give our coat, not only that we may continue destitute of inordinate affection, but that we may not by retaliating make our persecutors savage against ourselves, and stir them up to blaspheme the name.
So, deliberately provoking the university authorities is not standing up for your principles, it is causing them to offend.
HereAndGone2
26d ago
Eh, "slave morality" is just a boolight. I ignore any comment that invokes it, because they are trying too hard to edgelord.
HereAndGone2
27d ago
Have I stopped beating my wife yet, you ask? I reply that I am not married.
HereAndGone2
27d ago
"It’s no wonder that many devs instinctively recoil when a slimy MBA comes in who clearly doesn’t know much about AI or programming, and starts blathering on with “let me tell you about the future of software development!”
Tangential to the main thrust of your article, but there are entire Youtube channels about 'workplace revenge' stories (basically wish-fulfilment fantasies for frustrated mid-level white-collar workers) churned out pretty obviously by Asian content creators using AI to write the scripts (or more commonly take two existing stories and mash them together to create a third).
A ton of the stories are exactly this: "I worked in Company for 16 years as Senior Whatsit, I built the framework from the ground up, then some young nepo baby hire comes in as manager with an MBA and a slate of buzzwords and fires me because I'm a dinosaur and everything is going to happen in the cloud" 😁
HereAndGone2
28d ago
But on the 26th December I would expect the entire place to be closed down for the Christmas break, so the investigator guy would have been faced with a locked door. As mentioned, probably this was filmed beforehand and since we don't know how long before, the general expectation would be to keep the kids as near as possible to the closing date (because parents often need/want the kids in daycare since they're still at work themselves).
I have seen some online comment to the effect "this guy is a shitty right-winger racist but a more credible source does mention something funny is going on" so there does seem to be an indication that the story is not baseless.
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