This woman who likely never understood the dating landscape and never ''came into her own'' felt like she had lost the ability to steer the wheel of her own ship and got desperate. There is an element of searching for structure and direction in abuse and mistreatment when one feels like they aren't fit to maintain their own proforma, which for a multitude of reasons most women will end up succumbing to. For the neophyte in the alien territories of heterosexual unions, the dangerous man is best kept close, for evil can't strike you down if you manage to somehow keep it close by (think of the Wattpad Mafia boss fantasy), the victim woman's inertia attracts the abusive man's intensity, the willing pit finds the meteoroid that will crash into it.
The man also seem to have brought social capital, in her mind, it likely went somewhat like this;
the forlorn maiden at the end of her supposed bloom has been chosen by the ''Life of the Party'' social butterfly of a man who has so many options, yet went for this lucky girl.
Lots of ways this likely made perfect rational sense in her mind, with the actual abuse not completely unexpected but part of her internally fantasized prophecy, one that is built on the idea of perpetual doom and gloom, and also one that she likely will never admit to, out loud.
This still isn't a complete loss, except for the psychologie torture, though part of me wonders if she would simply fill that pit inside her regardless of what life configuration she would have wounded up in, if not for this. This of course isn't condoning the real abuse she likely dealt with, I am merely attempting to understand why she did what she did, despite the gut instinct telling her not to.
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This woman who likely never understood the dating landscape and never ''came into her own'' felt like she had lost the ability to steer the wheel of her own ship and got desperate. There is an element of searching for structure and direction in abuse and mistreatment when one feels like they aren't fit to maintain their own proforma, which for a multitude of reasons most women will end up succumbing to. For the neophyte in the alien territories of heterosexual unions, the dangerous man is best kept close, for evil can't strike you down if you manage to somehow keep it close by (think of the Wattpad Mafia boss fantasy), the victim woman's inertia attracts the abusive man's intensity, the willing pit finds the meteoroid that will crash into it. The man also seem to have brought social capital, in her mind, it likely went somewhat like this; the forlorn maiden at the end of her supposed bloom has been chosen by the ''Life of the Party'' social butterfly of a man who has so many options, yet went for this lucky girl. Lots of ways this likely made perfect rational sense in her mind, with the actual abuse not completely unexpected but part of her internally fantasized prophecy, one that is built on the idea of perpetual doom and gloom, and also one that she likely will never admit to, out loud. This still isn't a complete loss, except for the psychologie torture, though part of me wonders if she would simply fill that pit inside her regardless of what life configuration she would have wounded up in, if not for this. This of course isn't condoning the real abuse she likely dealt with, I am merely attempting to understand why she did what she did, despite the gut instinct telling her not to.
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