Nerd
I had sex with a vacuum, it sucked.
User ID: 1024
Nerd
2d ago
I mean.... I posted other stuff like this before, if you think that this post is bad, your welcome to point out why.
Nerd
2d ago
I wouldn't be surprised if this contributed. But I'm not convinced that this is the main reason for what happened.
Nerd
2d ago
You go on to propose that black men should be encouraged to be less masculine, basically. In other words you are trying to bring him down to a level where you can compete with him as you are a non-black man.
Um, Im not? This is largely in their interests. Black mens variation of masculinity does have an element of clear toxicity, driven by historical, societal circumstances, and governmental policy (and maybe we'll say here that HBD might be playing a role, but I'd like to focus on what we can control here). This clearly doesn't make them very attractive mates, a la them being more likely to be single. It actively damages their relationships.
Women find both masculine and "feminine" qualities attractive in men. Again, no ones arguing against being manly, I'm merely arguing for a slight tweak in masculinity to include some of these softer elements, that would aid in keeping a mate in the long term. If you insist on a slightly manlier variation of this, the comic-book hero Superman fits the bill fairly well.
We shouldnt be overstating womens preference for masculinity. Yes, women are looking for elements of masculinity when selecting mates, but the man in questions cant be too masculine, because that risks turning the strength aggression on her and the children.
Again there actually are black pretty boys. Usher is pretty.
I actually stand corrected! Excellent. For the record I actually forgot about Usher and RnB black men existed for a second (& sadly, we don't see them that much in the mainstream anymore). I'd like to see more!
So I think the problem is women need to stop desiring dominance or rather they need to stop putting themselves in positions that require dominant positions. I have a friend who happens to be an obese Black woman. I have experience with weight loss so she sometimes asks me for advice about it. One time she confided in me that she had been thinner in the past, but that she was "afraid people would beat her up."
This is counter-productive in almost all cases. A fit in shape person is gonna give a fat-ass an proper ass-whooping 99% of the time. Size matters to a point, but there is a distinction between sumo wrestler 200lbs, & Brock Lesnar 200lbs. But sure, inner city violence incentivizes masculint behaviour, fair enough. Solution? Crack down & lock them up.
This attitude is so arrogant to me, people do what they're programmed to do, why are you trying to socially engineer their behavior to begin with? She can choose the more sexy masculine dominant male over the really sweet guy, the problem isn't her, the really sweet guy if he's such a great partner needs to man up and express his masculinity in addition to his ability to take care of his mate and offspring at the same time. If someone whose brain is designed to opt for a masculine dominant mate who are you to encourage her to go against her millennia of programming in favor of you and your preferences, the less dominant male? What's in it for anyone but you?
Again, this is a false dichotomy. The goal is for our sweet guy to have both traits, that's basically the whole point of this post. I care for the black community, and I'd like to see them succeed. Having children "raised" by pookey and ray ray is counter productive to this end goal. Do I need emphasize that women aren't only attracted to just the hyper-manly health inspector?
Nerd
2d ago
as far as I can tell women are, generally, into pretty masculine men.
I mean, yeah, but I'm not really denying this. My point here is that, black men in particular are hyper masculine to a substantially detrimental degree. They feel the need to do dumb shit like this. I think, with the correct social policy and guidance, they can become the men i linked previously. Yeah, pretty soft guys, but you can hardly say they arent masculine either.
Nerd
2d ago
The point of teaching ballet and other soft activities, particularly for black men, is to tone down the manly man stereotype that is so commonly associated with them. I'd like for them to realize that you can be more than just a thug. But going beyond this, I think there is a case to be made that men need an element of creativity and softness to aid in their navigation of relationships with women, and with others within society, and that this can coincide with masculinity. The pretty boy archetype comes to mind here. Ideally, we get mostly masculine men, with a dash of sweetness and softness. Kinda like these guys.
I've spoken previously about possible solutions to the current masculinity & dating crisis. But another overlooked part of the conversation is the role race plays in dating and sexual selection. I think to fix this problem, we may have to tailor policy towards each individual race, based on their unique circumstances within the country. I'd like to start with the race that is having the most trouble with this: black people.
A Profile of Single Americans
According to pew research, about a little less than half of black people are single. That is about 68% more than other racial groups. It's also no secret that black people are more likely to have children out of wedlock, less likely to marry, and are more likely to divorce. A big chunk of this is because there is a shortage of eligible men (& women).
Whats the problem with black men?
There are..... a lot.
First and foremost, black men are less likely to attend and complete college. This not only makes them less attractive mates in terms of status, but also in terms of resources (those with a degree make more than those without). They are more likely to be incarcerated ,unemployed, and/or dead. Not good. On top of all of that, they are more likely to be the perpetrators of domestic violence and rape. They aren't great partners in the grand scheme of things.
Whats the problem with black women
Black women do, like women in general, prefer a mate that is high in status and with a good resource pool. They are completing college at a higher rate and also are more likely to be employed. But they also have issues, mainly:
-
They are more likely to be obese/overwieght.
I also wouldnt be surprised if many of these women were "less feminine" than their non-black counterparts, particularly because black women are in a more violent and aggressive environment, that demands more masculine behavior as a matter of survival. This is more of a hunch than something I have direct evidence for.
Solutions?
For black men in particular, there needs to be a re-imaging of black masculinity. Black Men tend to see themselves as more masculine. I'm gonna argue here that this perception is largely harmful to themselves and to the community at large. Especially with black men, the whole manly man with a huge bbc stereotype is incredibly culturally pervasive. Everyone thinks of a black man as a athlete or rapper, instead of a scientist or a physician. There are no black pretty boys (EDIT: well, there were RnB stars but they have fallen out of favor recently), like we see with asians. I suspect much of this is because of the toxic environment that was created via the war on drugs & the familial breakdown following the sexual revolution.
The first step really should be trying to have mentors setup via government interference, particularly for black men. Their ought to be more skills to black masculinity besides "guy with huge dick and a Glock with a gold chain". Programs helping the community become more wealthy would contribute to this change in masculinity, as it would give less reasons to be toxically masculine. Have them do ballet, painting, and heavily emphasize soft and social skills. This should be done in combination with rugged stereotypically masculine activities such as wrestling or football. Good men have strong elements of masculinity, with some healthy doses of feminine attributes on the side!
Education needs to be emphasized, even if its not college. As the knowledge economy grows, the labor market demands those with social and technical skills. I'm not just talking about college, if they cant or wont go, fine. But there needs to be something after high school, with a job that is decently paying lined up shortly.
This next one isn't one I'm personally endorsing, but depending on whether or not someone is a racial nationalist. You might want to encourage black men to date within there own race, as they are more likely to date outside. Assuming we make black women more desirable, this may fall by the wayside on its own.
Ok, so what about black women?
The first step with black women is to get them on some kind of glp-1 (honestly, this should just be done for both sexes, but lets face it, looks are more heavily emphasized for women, and black women in particular are more likely to be overweight). Women get more options and attention the more physically attractive they are, and its healthier to be skinnier anyway, so this is a no brainer.
Also, the culture around birth control is more conspiratorial than what is warranted. Put an IUD in, and be slow with putting out. Black women are less likely to use birth control. I'd like to see that changed.
I'd also like to see young black girls engaged in girl groups (such as girl scouts, for example) to sharpen feminine attributes and personality more in black women.
Gender Neutral Policies
Another step that needs to be emphasized is what a healthy relationship actually looks like, and how to select a dude who will give you a healthy relationship. I have an intuition that this skill, particularly with black women, is somewhat lacking, hence high multi-partner fertility (Note: what drives multi-partner fertility is relationship breakdown, not just promiscuity). Show young girls how men are suppose to treat you, what they are suppose to do, and how the courting process is suppose to work. Many women have seen way too many bad examples of this. They need to be shown good examples. The same works vice-versa: Young boys and men need to be good boyfriends, and have examples of what that looks like.
Social media needs to be targeted here. Screen time at a young age extremely limited. Kids need to play outside, with other children to learn social skills. Relationships are a lot harder to build if you are socially retarded.
Lastly, I'm probably gonna get some people here arguing about how much of this is genetic vs not. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and just argue that these policies are good in their own right. Even if 70% of the black race couldn't be saved for whatever reason, if we are able to turn the tides for the other 30% that can be, then I'll consider that a job well done.
Nerd
3d ago
Nerd
3d ago
I actually love how good most Final Fantasy games look, especially Final Fantasy 16.
Nerd
3d ago
I'd like this forums advice regarding the two current job opportunities I have:
-
Network Engineer Internship: 17 an HR with benefits. 3-4 months. Recruiter says I have a 25-50% chance of a full time offer if they have a spot available and if I perform well!
-
IT Support Engineer: Full Time, no benefits. 21 an hour. Basically another helpdesk job, Id accept it if there were benefits, but there arent any, so theres that.
Honestly, I feel that the Network Engineer internship is gonna look much better on the resume. I'll get the touch real equipment! And something tells me if I do well performance wise I can move up and stay permanently. But I'd like advice from other people who've been there. (Obviously, If a fulltime job with benefits pulls through, Ill take that ideally, but I'm playing the cards I've been dealt here.)
Nerd
4d ago
The decline of cheap or free activities specifically for young adults to meet other young adults is a huge problem
Robert Putnam wrote extensively about third space decline in Bowling Along, these trends started long before the smart phone. I think the abundance of technology has caused third space decline. The monetization of them isn't as big a barrier at its been made out to be, indeed people were partying more in the past compared to today, its not like those things were free back then either. Hell, Putnam documented the decline of picnics! In any case, id be fine with a state policy making these spaces low cost to free in order to incentivize socialization. Going beyond that, you could begin a more authoritarian crackdown on technology. Not ideal, but I've been flirting with the idea of doing some kind of creative crack down on screen time. Im well open to (& and I'd honestly prefer) less authoritarian solutions before that.
I keep engaging with the gender wars/fertility crisis topic even though its slowly driving me mad. But its too important to ignore.
I've already written a several write ups about how to solve this. The solution to the current problems are likely combination of getting non-college educated men decent paying work, and increasing socialization. We'd also need women to be more receptive to approaches, in an era where there are too many people attempting to demonize it.
Another thing too add that I think is fascinating, that is even a blind spot of myself, is that we don't really uphold womens end of the social contract in the same way we do with men a la Lauren Chen. Its more permissable to say that men have social/moral obligations (get a job (well, yes, a bum women isnt necessarily praised either, but I think its clear that men have more pressure on them in this regard), military service, etc), but not women, (get married, obey husband, have kids.) Perhaps this double standard should be reconsidered, and applied to women as well. If one wants to shift the needle in the other direction, change material conditions (automate the jobs, build skynet, etc) and "male liberation" would follow.
Personally, I favor the former over the latter - though I would emphasize partner cooperation over just blindly obeying your husband.
Nerd
6d ago
Meh, I feel as though this is being deliberately naive. Maybe modern "national socialism" wouldn't be a one for one exact copy, but I have a hard time believing those people aren't at least somewhat racist, and potentially willing to inflict that racism as a matter of state policy.
Nerd
6d ago
I doubt most self-professed advocates for modern-day "national socialism" are aryans in any sense to begin with.
Why would anyone advocate for it who isnt one, given the general knowledge and known history?
Nerd
6d ago
Um, Im not very comfortable with national socialism. I think a slightly heavy handed moderate form of conservatism, accepting some progressive economic policy is enough. Im not exactly Aryan, so I wouldnt benefit much from it anyway.
Nerd
6d ago
and most actual financial growth these days is the result of arbitrage, not genuine productivity increases.
I think this is overstated. There’s definitely a larger role for finance and asset appreciation than people are comfortable with, but it’s hard to argue that productivity growth is entirely illusory when you look at sectors like tech, healthcare, or energy. The bigger problem is that the gains from real productivity growth don’t necessarily translate into broadly accessible, non-degree employment.
A lot of men aren't positioned well to move into the sectors of the economy that are growing, some of those sectors pay well, others could pay better, but we have a lot of wiggle room to try some things before throwing in the towel.
Nerd
6d ago
But even that is a complete misdirection, birth rates won't be much of an issue to begin with. The current problem with an aging society is that the old don't produce as much as the youth do, but still consume resources. But who cares about that if AGI bots can do all the work for humans?
I'm of the belief that more children and families are an inherent good, independent of any societal effect that a declining population may have. Same thing with having less friends - regardless of whatever economic effects come of it, the fostering of love between to close friends, between husband and wife, between parent and child is worth preserving in its own right.
Nerd
6d ago
I think I know the answers, but I'll ask anyway: Why do you hold prejudice against Blacks?
They aren't even all Indians! Though most are...
As a side note, the 21 an hour job i was offered was by a company full of Indians. They are so fucking annoying. They keep calling me all the damn time even though i've technically accepted the offer (Which tbh, I'm probably gonna be dropping in favor of the internship.) Its fucking ridiculous. And yes, an obvious #notall, but seriously, why are these companies like this?
Nerd
6d ago
Love isnt just a feeling, its an ability. Every time you meet an emotional need, take her out on a date, show warmth and affection. You are choosing to love that person. The free will behind this choice is what makes it special, not just the action. I dont know if you are in a relationship, but think of it like this: What if you found out your partner was being coerced into being with you (someone threatened her, maybe a forced marriage a la Taliban). Would that person go on dates, kiss you, and have sex with you? Yeah. Would most consider this love? No! Without agency, we are left with a disgusting imitation, a fake "love" built on falsehood. The ability to stay means nothing without the ability to walk away! True love requires agency.
I think one reason you're having trouble finding work is that there's been a major oversupply of white collar degreed workers for what the economy actually requires. Those sorts of jobs are very cushy and high status, but too many people have been going to college trying to get them, and now we're seeing an overshooting of the demand.
This might play a role. Even if I'm making it to the last round, Im still competing with a guy with 4 years of SysAdmin experience. Its so fucking annoying, especially because i try and put in a lot of work into my resume and my interviews. I dont see any solution though - the best thing could be to try raising the pay of retail and non college avenues artificially, but those notoriously have negative consequences, such as a reduction in hiring and increase in the price of goods.
IMO, (2) is not really going to move the needle wrt birth rates / relationship rates. The sociological finding that women prefer a higher status male is robust.
I mean, yes, but women are flexible enough in this area to where the gains can make real impacts. Much of the decline in marriage is with non-college educated women. College educated women are basically eating up both college educated men, and men with money but no college education. I think men having money will shift the needle a good chunk, as it will be giving women more options for attractive mates. Its also worth noting that just having a good chunk of change to spend creates status in its own right.
Nerd
6d ago
When I first started searching I was having a tough time even getting call backs. Probably would help if i updated my linkedin. Surprisingly, ive been able to get call backs better once in began timing my application, which meant applying to a job within hours or a day of the posting. It works!
It also helped that i lowered my standards a bit and decided to just work more "entry level" work for longer (Im in the IT industry) but honestly, at this point any full time IT job with benefits is better than contract work, internships, or 21 an hr with no benefits at all.
Im making it to final interviews often in many of these cases. But its a huge pain in the ass sealing the deal! Im waiting to hear back from 2 full time job interview though, fingers crossed!
Your predecessors said the same about jerking off, or gay sex, or interracial relationships.
Good thing none of these shift the environmental incentives the way stated technologies do
If she cuts out the middle man, the LLM will at least not cheat on her and give her STIs.
Yes, true love has its risk. It is precisely because of these risk, human love is valuable. I can make a conscious choice to love my wife, give her romantic gifts, stay loyal to her. An LLM has no such free will. Anyone who really loves you is gonna choose to be with you, its a sign of actual love. We deserve people who have the ability to love and respect us of their own cognition. A machine is nothing but a pale imitation at best.
Ahh, yes. Using anti-democratic means to defeat (supposedly) anti-democratic parties. You have to see how this is hypocritical, right? Is this not the same behavior you would be hating the big bad fascist for? If people are electing populist-far right parties, how about you take a look at why thats happening and try to appeal to voters on things they care about, instead of betraying your beloved liberal principles?
More options
Context Copy link