Testing123
2yr ago
You’re making an important point but overstating it. Both Singapore and Hong Kong have robust, complex economies beneath their trade routes. Both have major international financial institutions which have found success competing against the world (as well as some manufacturing and other industries). Qatar and the rest of the oil baron states have virtually no other competitive companies outside of oil.
Testing123
2yr ago
I agree that relationships have an anti-inductive component (even a significant one), but:
You ask why it's considered cold and demeaning to want something from someone without making an offer in exchange and I reply that the answer is in the question.
The answer is... sex. The girl gets sex in exchange for sex. I think most people, or at least most men, see that as a fair trade as long as both parties are attracted to one another.
The obvious, but often unstated retort is that men and women value sex differently. Both enjoy it on a physical level, but women tend to attach more emotional significance to the act, while men generally take a more casual approach and seem to desire the purely physical aspect more.
Ok, that's fine. It is what it is. But to wrap back around to one of the overriding aspects of my original post and many of the comments... why is the female perspective on sex not only seen as the default, but the male perspective on sex is seen as immoral, at least to the Reddit crowd? Isn't that what happened to the OP? He made a (very clumsy) sexual offer based on the male perspective of sex, but the girl had the female perspective, and shamed him for his error.
Traditional Judeo-Christian morality had an answer to this discrepancy. But I don't think modern sexual mores do. The sensible approach to me is for people to be aware of both the male and female perspectives on sex, and to exercise empathy in negotiations over sex. The Redditor perspective (which I think you are sympathetic to based on what you're saying, feel free to correct me) is that the female perspective should be privileged, and the male perspective should be punished, even if it's touted innocently and ignorantly.
Testing123
2yr ago
I think it's human nature to want to vent about injustice and annoyances. Plus I'm interested in what people here think about the many facets of OP's story, Reddit's reaction, and what it does or doesn't mean about modern culture. Two birds with one stone.
At the risk of sounding like a giga-autist, why does this standard seem to only apply to sex? If OP asked the girl to be a regular tennis partner, no one would accuse him of treating her like a "wall to bounce a ball off of." If he asked her to play video games with him, no one would accuse him of treating her like an "ally NPC."
I don't get why if a guy wants to have sex with a girl but doesn't want a relationship, it's taken to be demeaning and cold, while engaging in any other activity without some sort of grander emotional engagement is fine. Yes, I understand that sex and relationships are traditionally paired, but I also assumed that all but the most trad among us have moved on from that strict coupling in every possible circumstance, especially for college students who are still trying to figure out their dating and sex lives.
To clarify, by "literal virgin (despite being 21 years old)", I meant to convey:
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"virgin" is sometimes used colloquially and insultingly online to just mean "awkward around women", but in this case the guy is a "literal" virgin.
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I mentioned 21 years old because it is an unusual age to still be a virgin and highlights likely social awkwardness, I didn't mean to imply any moral failing on his part for that.
Time for some good old fashioned gender politics seethe:
A clearly very socially awkward nerdy literal virgin (despite being 21 years old) guy thinks a cute girl in his study group is flirting with him. He takes her aside privately after a study session and asks her… does she want to be his FWB (friends with benefits)? He reasons that he wants to have fun like many young men and isn’t looking for a relationship right now.
The girl is shocked and taken aback. She turns him down flat and appears uncomfortable. He feels uncomfortable too and apologizes to her and leaves.
Over the next few weeks, she doesn’t say anything to him at study sessions. He tries to make contact again, not to proposition her, but just to resume their friendly acquaintanceship. She tells him directly that she doesn’t want to speak to him. He is hurt but understands and leaves her be. Soon enough, he learns that she has told her friends and extended social circle what happened, and he is widely reviled as a creep. He feels hurt and violated. He laments that he has lost a friend, and now feels like he’s being lambasted for an innocent error, and he wishes the whole thing would just end and go away.
My take on OP is sympathetic. He comes off as extremely awkward and clearly isn’t well versed in the endless myriad of opaque and seemingly contradictory rules of modern dating. He wanted an FWB, and he didn’t understand that the socially acceptable way to get one is to ask a girl out on a date (usually through Tinder), then hook up with her, then either stay as vague as possible for as long as possible about your intentions while continuing to periodically fuck, or to sort of half way shrug after a fuck session and say, “yeah, I’m just really not looking for anything serious right now.” OP genuinely thought he was being upfront and honest with another person, and assumed that he was proposing something mutually beneficial.
Yes, it’s not a good idea to outright proposition a girl to be an FWB in a library. It’s awkward and weird and I can see how it made her feel uncomfortable. But all signs point to OP making an innocent error. He didn’t know any better. When he became aware of his mistake, he immediately apologized, gave the offended party space, and only later attempted to reestablish contact in a friendly, non-threatening manner. He made an innocent mistake and responded in the best possible way.
And Reddit’s response to OP is… calling him a massive piece of shit in every conceivable way.
What I find interesting about the overwhelming criticisms of OP is that they split in two completely opposite directions, but seemingly from the same critics.
On the one hand, OP is relentlessly slut shamed. He is accused of treating this woman like a “flesh light,” of feeling “entitled” to sex, of creepily trying to fuck an acquaintance, of pursuing sex with a girl instead of trying to date thine lady like a proper Victorian gentleman.
On the other hand, OP is relentlessly virgin shamed. He’s an incel, a fool, a creepy moron. He’s daring to try to have casual sex when he hasn’t even lost his virginity because he is SUCH A MASSIVE FUCKING LOSER. OP doesn’t understand that casual sex is only for chads who have fucked a bunch of girls, FWBs are an unlockable perk, not a privilege of the sexually unworthy.
Fortunately, there is a minority of Reddit commenters backing OP up, but it is a small minority. Meanwhile, many more posters are saying that OP is well on the way to becoming an incel or Andrew Tate fan, and unfortunately, they’re right, just not in the way they think they are.
I don’t have a larger point for this post, only that it’s incredibly frustrating that a significant portion of mainstream culture has erected these standards for the dating marketplace where one false step not only does, but should result in social and moral annihilation.
Testing123
2yr ago
This reminds me that there is a "just kidding, but not really" meme of modern young men idolizing Marcus Aurelius, Julius Caesar, Napoleon, etc. People from hundreds or thousands of years ago who lived in different cultures, spoke different languages, and had unimaginably different lived experiences can be admirable in their ways. No common skin color is required.
Testing123
2yr ago
Testing123
2yr ago
Gillian Flynn was attacked for sexism for writing "Gone Girl," where the antagonist is evil in a distinctly feminine manner, and Flynn, an old school feminist, argued that true equality means being able to portray both men and women as complex evil psychopaths.
The rebooted reality tv show, "The Mole," has a trans contestant (MTF) who they don't even mention being trans.
EDIT - the HBO reality tv show "The Climb" also has a trans contestant (FTM). He 100% passes and I didn't know he was trans until he brought it up.
Testing123
2yr ago
I can’t help but pedantically point out that Demon’s Souls is prob the easiest Soulsborne game, except maybe DS1. Elden Ring has to be the most difficult, followed be Sekiro.
Testing123
2yr ago
I bought my first gun, a .308 Ruger American, a year ago. I’m looking to buy a handgun now just for fun and use at the range. I’ve never fired a handgun and don’t really know what to look for besides something fun to use and not super expensive. Any recommendations?
Testing123
2yr ago
Is it men loving Asian women? Or is it women loving Asian men? Big difference. Why do they not reveal gendered racial statistics like OkCupid did?
They don't give gender/racial breakdown, but they do have most viewed categories by gender which are surprisingly similar (Japanese is the second most popular category for women???).
Why is "teen" a taboo subject?
Because, whether rightly or wrongly, it's considered pedophilia-adjacent by some. Porn Hub banned its unverified amateurs because it was accused of hosting a lot of underage porn. It probably had very little actually child porn, but quite a bit of jail bait underage porn.
Testing123
2yr ago
Pornhub released its annual "Year in Review" - https://www.pornhub.com/insights/2022-year-in-review
Some observations:
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The big one... transgenderism had a major bump this year. It's now the 7th most popular category worldwide, and number 1 in Brazil. Perhaps even more surprisingly, "“FTM” (female to male) searches were 8 times more popular than “MTF” (male to female)." Big caveat - the discrepancy might be due to search terms since "trans" and "shemale" default to "MTF."
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Asian search terms have an insane dominance. Among the top 6 most searched terms are "Asian," "Japanese," "Pinay," and "hentai" (if that counts).
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For the SOME LARGE NUMBER of years in a row, hentai is one of the top search terms. Is the 4chan meme that 2d girls better than 3d true?
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The search terms by age group is kind of hilarious. Zoomers love virtual reality, cosplay, and hentai (unreality/escape from reality). Millennials love Asians, tattoos on girls, feet, and transgenders. Gen X is just as degenerate, only the boomers like good old honest red blooded smut like handjobs, "babe," and small tits.
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One big caveat over the entire "Year in Review" is that Pornhub banned unverified amateur content a few years ago, so niche searches are probably marginalized.
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The other even bigger caveat is that there is definitely stat manipulation at play. "Teen" is mysteriously absent from the entire page, even though it has to be among the most common searches. Same for "step-sister," "rape," and probably a few other taboo subjects.
Testing123
2yr ago
Should the United States just double or triple the size of its legal infrastructure (courts, judges, etc.)?
Even if you're not libertarian/minarchist minded, you probably agree that running a legal system is one of the most important things the government should be doing. Yet it seems like so many of the problems of the legal system are simple supply problems. Issues like bail, the costs of litigation, the difficulty of executions (as mentioned by a poster below), the inconvenience of every single legal encounter, etc. would be solved or greatly lessened by expanding legal resources. And relative to the vast majority of things the government does, courts are not expensive. I'm guessing the U.S. could double the entire legal system for less than 1% of the budget.
Testing123
2yr ago
For anyone who is having trouble remembering how they know the name ‘Tommy Tallirico’, it might be from co-hosting Electric Playground on G4 way back in the day.
Testing123
2yr ago
Nah, not really. There was an earlier incident in 2021 where Marin may have given Covid to a minister after catching it in a club (Marin was vaccinated and was told that she couldn't spread it), but the video leaks were in 2022 after all the restrictions had ended.
Testing123
2yr ago
I want to look back at the Finnish PM Sanna Marin affair because beneath the luridness, I think there's an interesting political discussion. As I understand it, here's what happened:
Sanna Marin has been the Prime Minister of Finland since 2019. Politically, she's lefty and environmentalist, popular with young people. But outside of Finland, she was only really known for being young (37) and hot. Not "hot for a politician," but objectively straight-up hot for anyone.
In August, a video of Marin partying leaked to the public, seemingly by a dumb friend who put it on a private Instagram page. The video showed Marin being very drunk with her friends in a house, singing and dancing the night away. There was speculation that Marin was on cocaine in the video. She denied it and took a drug test which she passed, but IIRC, it's plausible the drugs would already be out of her system by then.
A few weeks later, another video leaked of Marin at a night club in Helsinki. It shower her dancing with (or arguably, grinding on) a man in a fairly intimate manner. Marin in married with a kid, and the man in the video is not her husband.
About a week later, a picture came out (on Instagram? I'm not sure) of two Instagram models kissing while they flashed the camera. The models, who are friends with Marin, are standing in front of desk in her home that she uses to make official public announcements on tv. Marin admitted that she had them over her house to hang out and sauna when they took the pic.
Throughout the affair, Marin both apologized, but also defended herself on the grounds that she is an ordinary human being who simply likes to party, and that's no one else's business. This culminated in her crying on tv during a speech. A few days ago, Marin was officially cleared of any legal wrongdoing by the Finnish government.
I think Marin's case brings up interesting questions about what we should expect from politicians, specifically, how much we can expect them to avoid engaging in normal but potentially unsavory behavior.
I don't think Marin's defense is without merit. Yes, she's a politician, but she's also a person, and apparently a person who likes to party with her friends. I see no reason why she can't be a good prime minister and occasionally go to night clubs or get drunk with Instagram models. It's also relevant that we are talking about the head of Finland, a minor country of little international importance, so maybe we shouldn't be holding its leadership to such a high standard. If we punish behavior like Marin's too much, we end up with the opposite problem, which IMO is far more prevalent in the US. We end up with Clint Webbs (https://youtube.com/watch?v=EvU3QQH2b2Y [Side note - how do I embed links?]), or rather, a political environment which requires successful politicians to be so bland and boring that it selects for the uncharismatic and psychopathic.
On the other hand, maybe our politicians should be held to a standard of being above reproach. I don't think there's anything morally wrong with getting wasted at a club, but maybe it's a sign of immaturity? Or carelessness? Especially for a 37 year old with a kid? Especially for someone who is in an important position, like... if I had to choose a heart surgeon to operate on me, all else equal, I'd prefer one who doesn't get regularly drunk in clubs. I most certainly wouldn't want the president of the United States or Germany or the UK or a very important country in such a position. Finland isn't super important, but it's still a country.
(Also, though this is somewhat tangential, I think Marin's conduct in the video where she is dancing with the guy doesn't quite constitute cheating, but it crosses a line and shows a moral error, assuming she's in a standard monogamous relationship.)
I'm split between the two positions, but leaning toward, "if you're a politician of a small country, it's ok to party a little, but don't do it too much, and for god's sake, don't let videos of you partying leak."
Red Letter Media just did a review of Guardians of the Galaxy 3. In their usual tangent at the beginning of the video, Mike read off an online article of the 34 biggest movies coming out this year. Of the 34, 28 are sequels/remakes/reimaginings of existing properties. Of the remaining 6, 3 are based on real-life people (ex. Oppenheimer). That leaves three major movies in all of 2023 based entirely on original ideas, and all three are made by big, established filmmakers with lots of studio clout. This is a trend people have been recognizing for at least the last 5 years, if not the last decade.
EDIT - the RLM guys actually got a few of these wrong and the numbers are even worse than they thought. At least one of the 6 supposedly original films are based on a book (Scorcese's next project) and another is based on a true story (Taika Waititi's next film).
My question is -
Is there any historical precedence for this? Has there been a time and place where popular culture so heavily converged on recycling products that the flow of new products was stymied.
I don't want to be too doomer about this. There are still new, original, interesting movies being made, but they have been shuttled off to low-budget indie and streaming avenues. These days, if a movie is big enough to get a wide release, it is almost certainly not original. It's hard to imagine a new Star Wars (the original) or anything like it coming out today - a big, bold, truly original vision with a budget.
(Alternatively, maybe most of the cinematic creativity is flowing into television where for a variety of technical and cost reasons, interesting stuff can still be made on a big budget (ie. HBO).
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