eggplant
1d ago
Are people really dropping out of society, or are you just in a circle where people are dropping out of society? Like one simple metric, the prime-age labor force participation rate, is near all-time highs. https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/LNS11300060.
eggplant
1d ago
Idk, a PhD student is low status financially and a software engineer is low status socially, and they manage to date girls like this. The difference is that they love women and it shows.
eggplant
2d ago
I usually relate to, if not agree with, a lot of online discourse but dating discourse and the battle of the sexes is the one thing where I feel a fundamentally disorienting disconnect between online and IRL. It's always so stunning and unrelatable when I read stuff like this.
I'm an early-30s straight guy, currently have a serious girlfriend, and when dating, actively date women between 18 and early-30s. It feels like everyone I meet in a dating context is a decent woman, marriage material (conditional on there being mutual attraction), and has the eventual goal of marriage + having kids. Well educated, bright, agreeable, high achievers. Everywhere I go is full of attractive women like this, all rearing to go. All the straight guys I know are in good relationships, many married, some with kids. The whole thing feels very healthy and positive.
I like women, in fact I love women. I love going on dates with them, I love hanging out with them, I love flirting with them, I love hooking up with them, I love dating them. I'm excited to get married someday. I've probably been on 250 dates, had sex with 125 women, been in some serious relationships, etc. etc. It's all so much fun. I hardly ever have a negative experience; I could do this forever except at some point I want to start a family. I really do not understand the seething hatred I see some guys express online towards women. How can you hate them? How can porn and gooning and videogames be a substitute for taking some beautiful girl out to a bar and getting laid? Why should you care? Because it's fun, you're built for this, you want to get married and have kids.
And women love men. My current girlfriend is a dancer in a major ballet company. I hang out with her and her ballet friends. They're top 1% in terms of looks and talent. They all have nice, normal boyfriends. One of the bfs is a poor PhD student. One is a random software engineer at some company. Just normal guys. One is one of the few straight guys in the company. The ones who aren't in relationships are dating, typically on apps (I met my gf on an app), and overall just having positive experiences. There's minor drama here and there, of course, but again it all seems super positive and there's no seething battle of the sexes going on. The women want to get married and have kids. It's true for the ballerinas and its true for the SF tech girlies and the PE girls and the McKinsey girls and the HR ladies too. Obviously, selection bias is showing me the more social women in dating, but all my coworkers, female friends, etc., are basically in the same spot.
Where is this all coming from? Is it rejection? I get rejected a lot, who cares? Do a lot of men not share my love of women?
If you've gone through having a kid and followed along as they do ultrasounds, you'll find it really hard to be okay with abortion after 24 weeks except in really extreme circumstances. A 24 week old fetus is very intuitively and emotionally a real baby.
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