fribble
21hr ago
Kids are already not particularly interested in learning to drive. Uber is ubiquitous.
fribble
21hr ago
My 20something daughter and her friends are into cameras. Primarily digital but she's got some of them interested in film. They find dvd and cd players interesting, often from a nostalgia perspective.
Not media consumption, but they're also quite interested in tactile hobbies. Building things using arduinos, fiber crafts, wood working. I need to pull out the scroll saw and do a comparison vs a laser cutter for amusement value.
fribble
1d ago
My house is cleaner, more organized, and in better repair than it's been in decades and it makes me incredibly sad.
It's been almost 6 months since my husband died and I have spent the time doing. It was hard to get things done before because he was the guy and if there was a task and I started doing it he would feel guilty that he wasn't doing it (ADHD is a bear) and I didn't want him to feel guilty so I would bring things up instead of just doing them and he would be all oh yeah I will do that and then ADHD. Now I can just, do it.
There's still a ton to do. So many things. I think I need to replace the steps on my deck (steps end directly on dirt and things have shifted over the years). I know nothing about rebuilding steps on a deck but I can dig holes and buy stringers and pour concrete and screw down boards. So I probably won't make things worse. And one more thing will be knocked off the to do list making the house more pleasant to be in. Because it's easier when I am not working around my spouse's ADHD. And boy doesn't that make me a jerk.
fribble
1d ago
I cooked the second cup of Good Mother Stallard beans in the crockpot. Several hours on low worked well. I tossed mirepoix, salt, and a bay leaf in. Added the beans and a few cups of water. They were ready when I finished mowing the lawn & fighting with the weeds.
They're nice. I am thinking of a carrot lentil salad for the lentils. There is a sweet carrot salad I like (carrots, raisins, lemon juice, cinnamon) and I am curious if I would like a savory take.
I do think sauteing the mirepoix makes a difference.
fribble
1d ago
I eat oatmeal, beans, rice, apples, frozen broccoli & cauliflower. My apples are expensive and now my beans are expensive, but you can go cheap on them.
Go to food banks. They exist to help people eat.
fribble
7d ago
Mick Herron's Slough House series. I keep falling back into comfort reads (Trollope) but I started this for some reason and I feel almost normal reading it. The combination of plot, character development, and occasionally just lovely writing is engrossing.
fribble
7d ago
The bean chronicles have been on hold because my AC has been fumbling all its rolls vs heat. I will be pulling out the slow cooker (this weekend) for the next batch.
I will also try to stick to Wellness Wednesday to make it easier to find/skip as desired!
fribble
11d ago
I am asserting a much smaller thing - that people who do nothing but complain while they have the means to do something don't care.
I guess those UNICEF boxes I grew up with did something to me. Maybe they lied, but I thought the portion of my baby sitting money I was donating was beneficial. And I thought the helping older folks in the neighborhood with their lawn work/whatever was helpful. But perhaps they were just being kind. My baby sitting money didn't solve hunger. My youngster energy didn't solve aging. Maybe I should have just yelled about it.
fribble
11d ago
I don't think a single person could solve the problem but yes, if someone argues that it's a Terrible Thing that Nothing is Being Done I expect them to do something besides whine.
You do what you can about things you feel strongly about or you're just posturing and I don't take you seriously. I feed a few homeless guys. I am not solving homelessness. But I am solving hunger for a few folks for right now. That's more useful than whining the government/church/aliens aren't doing anything. And when I work with larger concerns on the issues I care most about I have skin in the game and I have hopefully learned some stuff from my own small efforts.
fribble
11d ago
Started from dried beans this time. I read the Rancho Gordo owner doesn't tend to soak his beans so gave it a shot. Not having to plan ahead and soak beans overnight feels surprisingly liberating.
fribble
12d ago
I have trouble taking the USAID crying seriously. If people really, truly cared about the pullback in aid they would do what they could to fill the gap. The Clintons, Obamas, Pelosis et al have a standard of living most of us can only dream of. Are they sacrificing their luxuries to save these people they are crying about? No. And they'll excuse it by saying a government org can do more blah blah. You know what? When I really care about something, I do what I can about it. I don't throw up my hands and say why bother because I can't do as much as some other way.
It leaves me thinking it's all a bunch of lies. Which is a shame. Because I think some of the programs were good, even if they don't hit my top concerns. So how stupid am I to think the programs were good if people living seriously luxurious lives can't even give up their caviar in order to help fill the gap?
fribble
12d ago
I cooked the Good Mother Stallard beans. They are excellent by themselves which is nice and they also just needed simmering for like an hour and a half which is definitely something I am capable of.
I am planning to continue the Rancho Gordo subscription for at least another round. That I am eating beans and not just eating protein bars is a positive sign.
fribble
12d ago
I was really pleased with how USAA managed the minor - to - adult transition.
I keep a small bank acct and a cc with USAA because I have had them forever. They were also one of the few banks that would issue my 5th grader a cc on my acct (she was going on a school trip out of the country and I wanted her to have an emergency card). Other banks, including BofA and NASA FCU required an older minimum age. I appreciate being able to talk to a real human to get things sorted out and I feel like they work with me rather than against me. Financially, I agree that Navy Fed is generally better - that's my daughter's daily driver. I will always use USAA for our home, auto, and umbrella insurance. They have been fantastic to us.
fribble
13d ago
She's been an added user on our accounts since forever so her credit history is older than she is. When she turned 18 USAA locked us parents out of her minor accounts and extended a credit card offer to her. Her credit union approved her for a cc a couple months ago. That gives her 2 credit accounts on her own and getting gradually old enough that it will be ok even if she decides to unlink from my credit history.
I read that credit cards are especially important for kids that didn't end up with student loans (she got scholarships) to build credit history.
fribble
14d ago
When she was 14 and got her first summer job I told my kid I would match her retirement contributions dollar for dollar. Every paycheck she would dump the whole thing in an IRA and I would put the same amount in her savings account. This continued, although past high school it's been more that she uses my CC to handle gas, etc and contributes the max she can to retirement vehicles. I interpret this as my plan having worked. She has enough money in retirement accounts to see the benefit and she follows the "pay myself first" plan.
Assume you are set. What do you do for your young, single adult children to keep them motivated toward their own success but also set them up? I want to see if I am missing anything.
fribble
22d ago
I made the Rancho Gordo baby green lima beans into succotash (x2, one with fresh corn, one with frozen. Not enough difference to trouble myself with fresh corn). It's reasonable. I am not anti lima bean but they also aren't a preferred bean. I may try the lentils once I finish eating the succotash.
Continuing the task of cleaning out the pantry, I used up some old unflavored gelatin by making coffee gelatin squares. It worked! I don't know why that surprises me, but it does. I don't like coffee so I will find out how my coworkers feel about coffee Knox blocks.
fribble
23d ago
Stroke and turn for summer is a lot less stringent than year round. It's a good time to learn!
Good on you for doing it. That's a position that always needs filling.
fribble
26d ago
It's my daughter's 23rd birthday this month. The first without her father. And I am so incredibly sad.
She got a new job she will be starting soon. He was so proud of her. They had a mutual admiration society. And she can't tell him about it. Or argue with him about minutiae until they both can't stand to be in the same room with each other.
To be a 6 year old for a moment - it's so unfair.
fribble
27d ago
My shipment went on a tour of the midatlantic states before it got to me today. In this shipment are the Alubia Blanca Bean, Cranberry Bean, French Green Lentil, Good Mother Stallard Bean, Green Baby Lima Bean, San Franciscano Bean, and a spice blend.
My current plan is to make succotash with the Green Baby Lima beans. That'll give me a lunch for the next couple weeks. I'm going to do a test, 1/2 lb of them made with fresh corn, and 1/2 lb with frozen corn. I'm curious if fresh vs frozen will make any difference when made into a dish. I'm not a huge fan of lima beans, but these are supposed to be worth trying. We'll see.
fribble
27d ago
I have been fairly solitary my whole life. I got married and I am happy I did. But where most marriages have the wife manage the social calendar, my husband had his own social calendar and I pretty much avoided it. Managing work, a child, and a spouse was more than enough.
When our child headed off to college it was an opportunity for further peace and quiet in the house, not galavanting with friends. My husband died early this year (we're in our 50s). So this level of solitude is new. But it's also the path my mom took when my dad died (when she was in her 50s) and she's quite happy.
The idea that we need to live in each other's pockets is an odd one. There is plenty of interest to engage in without the messiness of people.
fribble
28d ago
I am older and wiser and opting out of any future relationships I am not already obligated to maintain. I will continue my relationships with my mom and my daughter. Otherwise, my focus is work. And (solitary) hobbies. I have enough to keep me busy. I will leave the people for others.
fribble
30d ago
Don't just think, run the numbers. Trying to plan on vibes would make me itchy. Forecasting out your current budget and adding health insurance costs and your other known early retirement expenses would give you good numbers to work with. Talking about exactly how many years of work are needed to pay for exactly what kind of lifestyle is really helpful.
Your partner may agree that 10 more years of work to pay for a country club membership every year isn't a good trade off. You may agree that 5 more years of work for a yearly trip to do a walking tour in Ireland is a good trade off.
fribble
30d ago
These seem in contradiction to me. How can you consider separately whether to cover things if it's all "your" [combined] money?
I meant in terms of skills. We didn't need to pay for classes. We already had the knowledge in-house.
in the event of divorce.
This says to me there are other things going on.
In terms of money, most of our retirement and investments are from "my" money/efforts. (I say this because we could have had a lot more money if he hadn't spent as much as he did.) Yet, it was his retirement we were planning. If I had been planning for a divorce no way could we (I) have made these choices. I don't think I would have been willing to pay for the retirement of someone I might divorce. But I would happily do it for someone I loved.
I'd be concerned about the travel example. What are your plans for when you retire? If you're planning to travel then, why not front load some of those costs rather than saving enough money to do it all later? If you're not planning to travel, marrying someone who wants to might be a sticking point.
fribble
30d ago
It can also be a tool for people who are bad with money. One of my plans was to buy an annuity that would cover taxes/utilities just in case I predeceased my husband. Sometimes his ADHD would be his worst enemy so it would have made me feel better to know he would have some basics taken care of without needing to think about them. (Generally annuities aren't a good bet, imo.)
My daughter is an only, my spouse and I were from families w/two kids.
My daughter used to say she wanted a big family, like half a dozen kids. But she's changed her mind having dated. By the time she views her male peers as mature enough to marry, she'll likely be in your position and be limited by age/decreased fertility due to age. She's entering her mid-20s and isn't sure it's worth wasting her time on dating. I tell her there are guys out there who don't spend all their time gaming, but have no idea where to point my daughter to find them (church is out, she's an atheist; work is challenging, young men in stem are... spending all their time gaming).
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