imreallywondering
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User ID: 3720
imreallywondering
1mo ago
Instead I’ll just work it out: 1,095 days, 1,980 matches, so slightly under 2 matches a day. This is a little confusing to me because I definitely clear that, but you said I was ugly and date 5s :(
That's some rather interesting framing. If you looked at the data you'd see that there were days with as many as 350+ likes and about 100 matches. The profile was more or less inactive after a couple months, so the averages are naturally brought down by the inactivity + the fact that you naturally receive less likes and matches over time.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
If I'm taking this right, you think that getting swipes is more important than going on dates from the swipes? So 100 'yes hi' and nothing more is better than three dates from three 'yes hi' messages?
This is a caricature of my position. Firstly-- you need to consider that most only a fraction of likes will convert into matches into dates into sex or relationships. If you want to be successful on this app, you need to rack up likes and matches and be able to filter through a large amount of women relatively quickly. This is pretty basic stuff. If you get 10 likes a week, you're probably going nowhere.
That seems to me to be a strange measure of success, but it does seem to fit the theory that "women don't go on dating apps to meet men, they go on dating apps to receive validation by getting swipes".
Non-sequitur.
Is that what you are aiming for here? More swipes means more validation but you don't actually want to meet or date any of the people who matched?
Non-sequitur.
Also, it isn't just women saying "yes hi"-- matches will show more interest and desire if you're more attractive. The benefits don't stop at raw numbers of likes or matches.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
I'm just a bit genuinely curious on your philosophy so I'm going to ask flat out. Do you actually think that you're going to get more dates with two matches a day rather than two hundred?
Whether or not there’s a second date/you get laid is almost totally determined by your game and her mood, rather than how good you looked in 6 photos.
I'm not trying to be rude but this just isn't true. If a girl is actually physically attracted to you it takes pretty close to no effort to get laid with her. Of course as with anything it's a matter of degree-- but saying it's all or even mostly game is just straight up wrong.
Also your example is totally irrelevant because it has no time measure, no location settings, and more importantly no info on how hot these matches are.
If you actually took a look you'd've seen that there were quite literally multiple time measures, so this is a bit of an odd question to ask. The rest of this seems a lot like special pleading and goalpost moving. Hinge match
imreallywondering
1mo ago
I find it difficult to believe that I've been churning alts on the Motte when I've quite literally never made a post on here before this. I'd appreciate some enlightenment on my alter egos which I've been miraculously unaware of until this very moment in time. I mean, I admit, the topic isn't terribly original, but this is probably the first time I've been accused of being an alter of someone else I have absolutely no prior knowledge of by a moderator.
especially as the problem with blackpillers is that they take themselves very, very seriously and become increasingly irate when they realize other people do not.
I don't feel that I'm taking myself overly serious or anything. Other people make covert insinuations about my motive for posting one thing or another, I make my own set of insinuations about them right back.
Which is where you are now, heading in a predictable direction, which is getting belligerent and insulting towards everyone who argues with you and sounding like the penultimate act of The Feminist.
Interesting short story, not sure how it applies to me other than "believes that attractiveness disparities exist = bad" which is a pretty hilarious connection to make for a moderator on the forum that exists because they got kicked off every other place on the internet for having heterodox beliefs on cultural issues (which in practice just mean lacking the freedom to scream about IQ and muh based Christianity all day) but that's pretty typical from conservatives, so I'm not really all that surprised.
told they're lying about their own life experiences
If calling out an obvious liar who is lying specifically to try and make their point seem more credible gets me banned, so be it.
But mostly, accept that other people's perspectives may not match yours, and if you want to doompost, you still need to engage with civility and the same charity you would like to be extended to you.
You should take your own advice, mon ami.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
I'm not sure why you being a woman means you are innately blessed with the knowledge of what most or all women find attractive. Being a man did not endow me with the power to know what kinds of women most men were attracted to, nor did it give me any mystical or unique knowledge about attractiveness. Much of this just reads like completely delusional cope and the ramblings of someone who is seriously maladjusted and/or an outlier compared to the average woman-- which is frankly confirmed by the fact that you're posting on niche alt right websites when you're married and in your 30s.
If a man is not obviously deformed or overweight, then to me it's not the photos causing the problem.
This matters about as much to me as the fact that there are women that experience sexual attraction to dogs. You will not make yourself more romantically successful with women by putting on dog ears, getting on all fours and barking because there are a couple women out there that like dogs.
But I cannot tell you what motivates these women, because I have never been in a social circle with such a woman. From what I have heard, sexual abuse can lead to sexually promiscuous behavior in women. Maybe that's what's going on?
You either literally don't interact with women at all or your entire friend group is asexual. More than 61% of relationships start online. It's not nearly as rare or niche or abnormal as you make it seem, and implying a supermajority of women were turned to online dating through sexual abuse is either a hilariously bad faith argument or just genuine detachment from reality.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
I find it really interesting how convinced you seem to be that you're attractive despite women literally telling you to your face through Tinder that you aren't. No, if you only get two or three likes a day on Tinder, you aren't attractive, you aren't some Casanova, and you're objectively doing quite badly in comparison to actually good profiles. Furthermore, I don't really give a damn how many dates you go on with "objectively attractive women"-- that's a more or less irrelevant metric when I'm willing to bet that nine out of every ten of those dates stopped at the first date, and probably nine out of every ten of the remainder led to precisely nothing (not to mention these objectively attractive women are probably 5s at best anyways). I have experience on dating apps, I know plenty of people who've used them, I've used them personally. I even have some data from an actual top profile to back up my point. You can go compare yours. You don't match up.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
Like I said, I've never used Tinder, but I've had no problems on Hinge. And this is with me selecting for attractive, non-obese women with professional jobs that usually involve advanced degrees. I match on about 20–25% of likes, on average, and even then I occasionally get into trouble where I have more matches than I can handle from swiping 4 or 5 days a month. I suspect that I could probably do "better" if I were swiping more and started going after the hairdressers and phlebotomists of the world, but I'm trying to find a girlfriend, not farm matches.
Sure you do. Why don't you export your Hinge data and just show us your actual matches? Somehow I doubt you're doing better on Hinge than signed models-- but that's just kind of a hunch you know? If you're really a 6 or 7 to women, you should have upwards of a few thousand matches after a month or so. That's even if you only swipe a couple days a month, it's just not that hard to rack them up if you're truly good looking. I expect I'll be waiting for a very, very, very long time though. People just loove spinning absurdly fantastical tales to anyone with a modicum of experience in this to try and inflate their credentials.
Nobody wants to hear this because it means ditching the defeatist attitude and requires putting in some actual work, but if you can't put the work in for a fucking dating profile, what does that say about the kind of work you'll put into an actual relationship?
You keep making this very interesting assumption that putting work into a dating profile meaningfully changes your results. If you're not good looking it won't. Full stop.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
If they're well informed of this gap, they seem to be doing a very good job of acting as if they do not. The amount of kneejerk denialism, overt or covert jealousy, envy, rage, and sometimes just attempts at outright spirited rejection of this basic reality point to this being something that most denizens on the Motte would rather either pretend does not exist or vehemently lash out at anyone who even suggests that it may in fact be a real thing.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
This is all so many words to say that you're both living in the past in terms of online dating being not that prevalent and also in deep denial if you think dynamics suddenly radically change once someone steps off Tinder. This might be a bit mindblowing-- but the fact is that when you step off Tinder and go to a club, women will not suddenly drop all their standards and become physically attracted to you. If you don't do well online, you're probably not going to do well offline either.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
It seems illegible because it's basically not a real thing. There's a reason you don't see any fat goofball or "guy with a super good personality" getting lots of attention on Tinder-- because women aren't actually attracted to these type of men, the stories about this archetype existing are exaggerated to mold a narrative, and the quality of woman that goes with a man like this is usually in the gutter. Sorry to break your fantasy though!
imreallywondering
1mo ago
This is terrible advice. If you want to succeed on Tinder or Hinge and you're not facially gifted, you MUST be jacked if you want any attention at all. You are not going to get anywhere on online dating apps as a 5/10 twink, flat out, you do not have the luxury of neglecting your physique. Keep in mind the kind of physique you need for serious appeal isn't just one or two years in the gym, but preferably the physique of someone on steroids or close. Second is probably noting that facial hair is probably the easiest way to ruin your face if you have any sort of jaw. Women can tell when you look like a 12 year old underneath the beard, and it makes you look older in a bad way.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
Feel free to try. It's just I highly doubt you'll manage to even break 15 likes in a day, and you'll be perhaps humbled by the experience.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
It doesn't really matter what you personally think of Finn or Niko's looks-- the proof's in the pudding, hundreds to thousands of women found them attractive and made the determination for us. It doubly doesn't really matter whether or not some women compliment you here and there, because if you were actually attractive, no offense intended, you would be able to just show us your profile on one of these dating apps and show us your thousands of matches. I'll make a wild guess-- you don't because you're the kind of guy who gets maybe one or two likes in a day if he's lucky, and if he's really on a roll, maybe three or four. You don't like seeing the Mariana Trench sized disparity in attractiveness between you or Finn, so instead of actually engaging you just choose to dole out some meaningless childish insults. Why? It's so nakedly displaying your own internalized envy and jealousy.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
I'd say that there's approximately a zero percent chance that half the men at your college were better looking than Finn or Niko, unless you went to a college full of runway models from Milan. Like most people here you just don't comprehend male attractiveness and have a seriously skewed view of both what makes men attractive and just how attractive the average male is. Saying that older men are more physically attractive is another hilariously delusional take. The reason why women go for older men isn't looks-- it's money, status, stability. And frankly the average age gap in relationships is usually quite small anyways. If you're not attractive to women at 20, you're going to be even less physically attractive to them at 35.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
It's not out of touch or anything really, you're just not attractive to women. Your results are literally bang on average, it's just that you were unaware until now of the actual nature of the curve and for whatever reason assumed yourself to be at the top end. It's like when a kid who's pretty decent at math in his class of first graders gets his first taste of just how much average he is in comparison to IMO gold medalists.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
You're free to believe that, but I'd be more than willing to bet that even if you or any other man on this forum managed to check off every point on your list, they still wouldn't break 15 likes on any dating app within a day. People on this forum fundamentally do not get or understand male attractiveness. This is the dating equivalent of a beer bellied man on the couch watching football on a Monday night thinking he'd be able to make that touchdown those darned mediocre running backs couldn't manage. You literally don't know enough to judge the size of the gap between him and you.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
You seem really quite misinformed about the prevalence of online dating in the current year. It's no longer the niche, obscure, relatively novel apps of yesteryear-- online dating quite literally forms a supermajority of all dating in the year 2025. It is arguably more "real" and relevant than bars or clubs. You're also considerably naive if you think this kind of treatment only exists on Tinder. I've spoken with the man in the side profile selfie, and his life is like something out of a bad porno movie. I've seen him on video to be clear, so this isn't just hearsay, been surrounded by several women as if he were Justin Timberlake, been offered money upfront at a club by women to take their virginity (not unattractive women either), paid for transport somewhere where he didn't have a car by letting the woman drive him simply give him a blowjob, and the list goes on. You are very much just not in the know when it comes to things like this.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
This kind of attempted mockery has always struck me a bit as being more or less being sour grapes. It's a bit odd that you'd write a couple paragraphs about how he needs to do this or that when he's easily already a top 1% profile on Tinder and has functionally infinite access to attractive women. Does seeing a man this sexually successful just make you insecure? Is it something deeper? There's pretty obviously no need to change your approach to dating if your approach has already given you north of 25,000 options to pick from.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
It's not that they're unattractive, it's just that you don't know how to properly judge attractiveness in men and have a seriously distorted view of the distribution. Finn and Niko are at minimum 1 in 100 males. If you don't believe me, make a female profile on Tinder, you'll only see a man that good every hundred or two hundred swipes. In fact, you can even go on the Instagram pages of college frats and you'll find that most men are simply not on that level.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
Run yourself on dating apps. If you can't break 30 likes in 24 hours, you're most likely unattractive. If you can't break 99+ in 24, you're most likely not above a 6 in the eyes of women.
imreallywondering
1mo ago
First picture in the proof album. Do note that "Niko" is only about 5'8
imreallywondering
1mo ago
So much clueless discourse and blathering on here really makes me think that a lot of people here have rather interestingly false conceptions of the gap between them and an attractive man in terms of dating success. That's not to speak of the absolutely massive gap between the average man and the average woman that I think could do with some amount of rectification though the use of a couple particularly pertinent examples. In short-- the average man i.e a guy who would probably get rated a 6 or 7 by most people is virtually invisible to women online to a degree that's frankly quite horrific when you compare it to the experience of an attractive man. The average guy could probably expect to reasonably manage about 5 to 10 likes a day, probably dropping off to less than that after the first week, with maybe a couple matches a week and perhaps 1 out of 50 matches actually converting to a date and an even smaller proportion converting to anything more significant than that. That doesn't sound too bad, right?
The thing is, an attractive man isn't just getting say 10% more matches, or even just doubling their matches. The amount of attention they get from women usually dwarfs the average male by several orders of magnitude. The top profiles on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, are maxing out the like counter in give or take under an hour, the rungs below that with ease in under a day and so on and so forth. There are plenty of men who are not rich, not famous, not exceptional in any way really other than the face God gave them and perhaps the muscles Trenbolone gave them (though if you're thinking steroids alone will make you one of these men, you're living in a world of delusion-- women want the complete package) breaking 20,000 matches in relatively modest sized metro areas like Copenhagen, Stockholm or Denver. I should probably note that these profiles are typically white men though, as funnily enough even here racial gaps manifest, though this is frankly a matter of degrees, as even these disadvantaged attractive men of color are usually not lacking for women-- but it's going to be generally significantly less attractive and desirable women and they'll have to be a point or two better than their white counterpart to compete. These men have such an abundance of choice and easy access to women that they effectively dwell in a completely separate reality when compared to the average man-- they are the pickers and choosers and have no desperate need to compromise or settle down with one woman. Think of the gap between a man with 70 IQ and a man with 160 IQ in terms of capacity for intellectual output and perhaps multiply that gap a few times and you'll have a somewhat decent grasp of the dynamic in play here.
No amount of game or self improvement will ever get you close to that if you lack the genetic basis for it. It's like thinking a 70 IQ man can become a world class physicist and win the Nobel prize if he just tried hard enough-- the world doesn't work that way.
It's well known that attractive women have their pick of the litter, but I'll just add in that a woman need not be particularly attractive to be bombarded with options. The average girl you see on the street could open any dating app and find literal thousands of men throwing themselves at her within a day, maybe two or three if she's a bit ungifted in the face. Though as with attractive men, there's a pretty big gap between the kinds and amount of attention that white women get, and every other race of woman, including Asian women (of the northeastern and southern varieties) and having blue or green eyes supercharges this a surprising amount.
If they were, you wouldn't be having a breakdown over them. But feel free to post your stats so we can compare. I highly doubt you had any days with 300+ likes or 100+ matches.
Nah, you're just literally not attractive. No amount of snark or tantrum throwing is going to change that. Women made the determination to skip your profile because they just don't like you that much, and that's that.
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