lagrangian
1yr ago
No, but I don't think the analogy tells us much. They are certainly both destruction of property, even if only one is arson-y; similarly in the rape side of the analogy both are rape, even if only one is violent-y.
(There's a weaker argument I could add that both forms of rape are violent, but that's sufficiently far into repurposing words that I won't stand by it real strongly.)
lagrangian
1yr ago
Plus, of course, the guy in this situation has probably also been drinking.
The hypothetical as I am thinking about it is that the man is knowingly much less drunk. If everyone is very drunk, I think that's less of rape and more of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" all around.
There's a word for a guy who consistently engages in that sort of reasoning (not just in this particular case, but in general) and that word is "virgin"
I think your point stands for a smallish group of those you're describing, "white knight" types, who should yes in fact move in the drunker/less-rigidly-consent-requiring direction.
But, in general, I prefer the word "adult." I found dating got exponentially easier as I started advertising being a ~sober, boring, responsible adult instead of being maximally able to consume booze/etc.
lagrangian
1yr ago
statutory rape is very much not rape
To be clear, are you espousing the belief that an adult (e.g. a 30 year old man) is in no way morally transgressing to have sex with an enthusiastic twelve year old? Nine year old? Toddler?
lagrangian
1yr ago
controversial
I don't think the moral importance of age of consent in general is controversial even on here. Don't get me wrong, I'd welcome any interesting discussion you'd like to have here.
But, I think the fact on the ground is that while posters would disagree on exact ages, allowances across cultures, etc, most people think there should be some age and/or age-gap that makes it definitionally impossible to consent.
lagrangian
1yr ago
getting taken advantage of
I think a key detail here is that alcohol is a helluva drug. It's quite easy, especially as a smaller, younger woman to overestimate your tolerance. Either of you also might not know what's in the punch exactly, or how long you hit the keg.
So, the ethical thing is to look at the person as you're getting to bed and ask "ok, but really, is it OK to have sex here?" I think if she'd never in a million years have sex with you after a moderate amount of alcohol, no. If in the heat of the moment and a bit buzzed, she'd probably have said yes, you're at least in grey territory, potentially fine, depending on the details.
lagrangian
1yr ago
If she's "too drunk to count to ten" let alone passed out, it strikes me as very similarly morally to rape-at-knifepoint. Not quite as bad, but not "obnoxious liberal word expansion" levels of different.
I'm curious, to any older commenters especially: does usage like this of "rape" strike you as euphemism treadmill, or is this just the natural range of the word? I suspect it's the latter, but maybe I'm young(ish). I'd think to use "rape" for the above and knife-point when that detail isn't central, and say "violent rape" when the knife (/threat/etc) is central to the discussion.
I love the new site UI, even relative to old.reddit. But, I miss two RES features:
- custom user tags
- the net upvotes I've given a user
Are either/both of these plausible from a scaling standpoint? I'm a backend dev with some spare time the next few weeks and happy to take a stab at 'em. If so, maybe point me to where to start digging?
See e.g.:
Edit: I poked around the codebase. I forget this is generally simpler when not in FAANGland. Looks doable, I'm going to see about a prototype over the next few days, starting with #1. I still haven't thought about scaling, but again I suspect the answer is this is not FAANGland, it'll be fine. If we can manage the 'new comment' markers, surely this is doable, too.
lagrangian
1yr ago
Meta: I dislike giant bold text. Is there a setting to disable this, custom CSS or something? Super not a frontend person...
Russian allies in the US still think Putin is the based defender of Christian civilization against the homosexual globalists
What % of Americans do you think this is? Above or below lizardman constant? I'd guess way below, like OOM less than "literal Nazi," but maybe it's my bubble.
lagrangian
1yr ago
The people aspect is huge. This is why I want to work at Jane Street. Also because OCaml is amazing and HFT is challenging and because of the pay, but the people this attracts is why it's I think the only place for which I'd be willing to deal with snow and commuting instead of remote work from paradise.
Rust? Good luck getting business logic done over the din of nerds playing with a type system. Java? You're gonna get a culture of boring adults. Javascript? Scrappy startup types who may not write tests, they ran it like twice.
lagrangian
1yr ago
adb shell settings put secure accessibility_display_daltonizer -1 I believe should do it. That's from ChatGPT, so grain of salt, but, it looks plausible and similar to these github colorblindness tricks. Also not clear to me if you can override that from settings without adb, which would defeat the purpose, but I say give it a try. See also google groups.
lagrangian
1yr ago
Agreed to all of that, but you still have to do it to signal that you're interested in her.
lagrangian
1yr ago
It's interesting to me that you seem to have better luck than me at first (likes/matches/conversations), but worse after that. I get some likes/matches/conversations (certainly not more than makes sense), but once we agree on a time and place, I can't remember the last time it didn't work out.
Wildly speculative theory: you're more attractive than I am (hence, more matches) but doing something offputting after that. Rather than do the confrontational thing and say no to you, or even unmatch, rather than be decent enough to be decisive at all, they just flake etc. Typical female behavior, and understandable enough, given the fear of anger from anything more direct.
lagrangian
1yr ago
I don't see anything.
lagrangian
1yr ago
It's very stupid, but a culture of fear inside the company prevents anyone from dialing back. The sculpting is counterproductive.
I don't think it's a culture of fear so much as a culture of adults doing their jobs so as to earn money. The vast majority of people are doing technical (or legal, or design) work that is politically neutral. A tiny sliver are doing whatever intentional political tuning goes on. Even on the political tuning teams, I suspect the attitude is much less "I hate these politics, but I'm afraid if I speak out I will get fired" than "These politics are not important to me but I sure know what to say to get promoted."
lagrangian
1yr ago
A motivated young person can easily earn $300k annually by age 30. Not as a doctor, not as a lawyer or consultant, nor as a software engineer. But it's quite possible, even trivial. The catch is that you have to work in a disfavored trade such as tire repair, HVAC, or construction
This feels unlikely. Even as a software engineer, you're doing well above average if you hit 300k ever, let alone by 30 (source). Do you have a source on your end?
lagrangian
1yr ago
I have literally never heard of engagement rings for men, and my family is in the jewelry business.
lagrangian
1yr ago
How expensive is malpractice insurance? Does it differ between the two types of doctor? How many more years/loans does it take? How many more hours of work a week is it?
Not rhetorical questions, I'm curious and have no idea.
lagrangian
1yr ago
If you're using Chrome there's a million extensions to autosave, e.g. this one I have no personally tried. On mobile, your options are more limited, but IIRC firefox mobile has extensions, or yandex.
lagrangian
1yr ago
Great post, thanks.
Can anyone give some context on where WPATH fits into the broader ecosystem of such organizations? I assume there are other organizations that give guidelines or do research - is WPATH bigger/smaller, newer/older, more/less funded, etc?
lagrangian
1yr ago
One result of this is that Google is kind of screwed
GOOG is up 40% YoY, compared to 25% for SPY (SP500) - the market strongly disagrees with you.
I like LLMs quite a lot, for certain things, but almost orthogonal to what I like search for. If I want reliable docs, or to find reddit posts: Google. If I want a particular passage in a book explained: LLM...but then usually Google to confirm things.
Old people are super not into LLMs, or change of any variety. LLMs are also going to take a big ol' reputational hit if they start being monetized to suggest you have a delicious Slurm. The search results model of paid results is a much cleaner separation of ad vs not. LLM responses are so much longer that it'd be hard to separate out the ad and organic responses, decreasing trust, adoption, and monetizability.
lagrangian
1yr ago
I agree in general, but I think it's considered OK when (as here) the poster wrote the content of the link. Maybe he could have made that more obvious, though.
lagrangian
1yr ago
I'm actually surprised by how strong themotte's negativity toward the prostitution is here. It's not a good thing, don't get me wrong. But if the app dating/hookups are of a normal quantity, and she's great otherwise, I don't think it has to be a dealbreaker. Teenagers are stupid and horny, shit happens. At least we know she's honest. (Or, more honest than she had to be. I guess she could have been a hooker for years, who knows.)
I also have some question as to what "a couple of months" means. That could be a single digit number of johns, and prostitutes aren't in general indiscriminate in selecting them. Really, "prostitute" is perhaps an unnecessary term; if, a few times, you tutor math or fuck a goat, are you a math tutor or a goat fucker; or are you just someone who tutored math or fucked a goat?
Being that young, she probably had enough sway to pick attractive men. So it's entirely possible that the only difference in Alice and the modal woman is that she got paid explicitly. Is that really so different from if she had casual sex, which not infrequently entails the man paying for drinks/dinner/a hotel anyway?
lagrangian
1yr ago
Wow, thank you for the reminder that there are lots of different kinds of people in the world. Your ideas sound like good TV, but exhausting dates. I'm curious which one of us is more normal in this regard, relative to either themotte or in general.
I'm early 30s, so maybe I'm just older and boring now? My ideal date is doing nothing. Cook a simple meal together, walk around the neighborhood, hang out, and "hang out" - heck, the first two are optional. If we've been together for more than a few months, so is the last one.
That all seems reasonable. What is the current status of French law?
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