rennala
anchoress
no more parties in LA
User ID: 4424
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
The first polycarbonate to survive anodization and rival the tensile strength of magnesium will be invented by a lonely heart
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
Consider the most obsequious, autistic man you know and then imagine him as a woman. ANNOYING!
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
Only interpersonal romantic relationships, friendships aren’t like that. They’re a slow drift towards irrelevancy but you can recover them.
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
are you comfortable with coming back to interpersonal relationships in ten years and being in a profoundly weird position of trying to play catch-up?
I have seen people much older than me catch up, but I do feel that even if they’re successful it is a somewhat odd position. My only cope is maybe when you’re older you’re wiser and more patient and can handle human relationships better - without the self flagellation that comes with being young.
so they're stumbling through first dates and first kisses at 24, and lack the training and reference that their peers have around these things.
Ouch!
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
Not very confident; not very confident that I’d meet people who gratify me similarly either. All this discussion around it is quite interesting, life is hard.
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
Really great points, thank you for providing forward looking insights into this.
Maybe because I’ve spent 20+ years trying to make friends (ever since I was a conscious child, for example), but they haven’t lasted (no fault of theirs, maybe some of mine), and of course relationships are almost a joke in how little they mean since one day someone can wake up and just decide they don’t find you worth their time anymore, I feel like I have some experience with being alone.
The intellectual stimulation at work is so intense that it leaves almost no space for worrying about anything interpersonal. So was graduate school, but you’re right that the landscape of work is ever changing and it’s quite likely that in 5 years I might get replaced by some AI.
You’ve given me a lot to think about, I appreciate that.
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
An attractive woman goes to a mall, supermarket, or big-box store
I like that you descriptively provided three different shopping locations, but if you really want to cover male headturners definitely include the hardware store.
I understand what you mean about “hey! I’m a woman online” but I have to be honest getting perspective from a diverse group of women even on a small Internet forum where there may only be a handful of them actively online is really helpful. So, for example, this comment from @Gaashk was very insightful. Maybe just for that tender reason alone I appreciate knowing women online.
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
Haha, I started using the internet when I was 16 so I do remember TITS OR GTFO phase; those men probably have families now. Strange thing to consider.
if you are actually a woman you will get the deserved attention that you want
What type of attention do women deserve and want? I want to imagine the internet is more egalitarian now and just being a woman online (an egirl?) isn’t enough to warrant any special treatment or attention.
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
You think so? This place scratches some autistic itch I have to observe humans as anthropological interests, but yet I love the feeling of being outside the bubble of it. I’m too stupid for astral codex ten though sadly. Wish I had that advanced form of autism.
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
We've mostly had the kinds of jobs where feedback came in the form of getting yelled at, or sometimes unexpectedly fired
That sounds terrible and that is my fear that if you devote yourself even to a satisfying job at some point you may lose your humanity and see people as numbers (or worse human resources, or worse liabilities on a balance sheet)
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
someone on a private discord told me about it, it’s a bit overwhelming but intriguing!
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
Well I wish the existence was more Tesla-esque in terms of intellectual output. You’re right that there’s some erosion of the soul when it is just devoted to the altar of inputs and outputs. My only salvation is that this feels easier than the socialization aspect of being human for now. I might be asking a completely different question in a year about all this though.
didn't feel like I could be my real self around them
You can’t really, not many (or anyone?) can handle the true nature of human wanting or whatever. Hope you’re doing better mentally now?
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
What are some bluegrass pieces for the bass that you like to play?
rennala
anchoress
1d ago
Your 20s sound so idyllic, thank you for describing them and your life now too, it all sounds lovely. I sort of imagined myself vicariously at a bonfire too for a moment.
This is the thing with socialization, it never seems like a bad thing and people’s overall view of them doing all this is always great to learn about.
I’m a woman too but I think I crave positive reinforcement in the form of quantized and measurable feedback which a high-impact, complex job seems to offer. Sometimes I struggle with such feedback from human beings, and it might be unseemly to ask people to rate their social interactions with me on a scale of 1-10?
rennala
anchoress
2d ago
Thank you for directing me to the concept of anchoress; I wasn’t previously familiar.
I understand the obligations of starting a family early enough but imagine if you weren’t bound by that
rennala
anchoress
2d ago
Are you able to reduce the distance between the strings and the fingerboard? I got that done for the vibrato so that I wouldn’t have to press so far down especially on the thicker strings
rennala
anchoress
2d ago
At some point companionship would be helpful but I am opposed to children, even though they’re lovely, because of other personal reasons.
How were your early 30s in terms of socialization? I don’t dislike the idea of it, but the effort vs returns can vary significantly
rennala
anchoress
2d ago
Not in my 20s anymore, but spent all of my 20s in education so the start of the career was somewhat delayed (but everyone should go to graduate school I think).
It feels gauche to say that wealth is a good motivator but it does seem to be. Your opinion is really helpful in this.
rennala
anchoress
2d ago
How unreasonable is it to prioritize work over interpersonal connections? I truly enjoy my work and find it so much more gratifying than anything else I have ever done in my life, but there seems to be some sort of prevailing consensus that you are only human if you relate to others? Has anyone else led a somewhat more solitary existence and prioritized only themselves over connections with others (outside of the connections you make at work anyway in a team, although those connections are more transactional in nature)?
How long ago did you decide this and how has this experience been going for you?
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