rennala
anchoress
no more parties in LA
User ID: 4424
rennala
anchoress
10hr ago
That’s a cool idea, do you have access to a lot of water around you?
rennala
anchoress
15hr ago
What’s a thing you’d buy if you had $2500 to spare? I want something meaningful but also don’t want to go down another vain trip of shoes/clothes/bags/books
rennala
anchoress
5d ago
How long ago did you decide this and how has this experience been going for you?
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
The first polycarbonate to survive anodization and rival the tensile strength of magnesium will be invented by a lonely heart
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
Consider the most obsequious, autistic man you know and then imagine him as a woman. ANNOYING!
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
Only interpersonal romantic relationships, friendships aren’t like that. They’re a slow drift towards irrelevancy but you can recover them.
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
are you comfortable with coming back to interpersonal relationships in ten years and being in a profoundly weird position of trying to play catch-up?
I have seen people much older than me catch up, but I do feel that even if they’re successful it is a somewhat odd position. My only cope is maybe when you’re older you’re wiser and more patient and can handle human relationships better - without the self flagellation that comes with being young.
so they're stumbling through first dates and first kisses at 24, and lack the training and reference that their peers have around these things.
Ouch!
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
Not very confident; not very confident that I’d meet people who gratify me similarly either. All this discussion around it is quite interesting, life is hard.
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
Really great points, thank you for providing forward looking insights into this.
Maybe because I’ve spent 20+ years trying to make friends (ever since I was a conscious child, for example), but they haven’t lasted (no fault of theirs, maybe some of mine), and of course relationships are almost a joke in how little they mean since one day someone can wake up and just decide they don’t find you worth their time anymore, I feel like I have some experience with being alone.
The intellectual stimulation at work is so intense that it leaves almost no space for worrying about anything interpersonal. So was graduate school, but you’re right that the landscape of work is ever changing and it’s quite likely that in 5 years I might get replaced by some AI.
You’ve given me a lot to think about, I appreciate that.
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
An attractive woman goes to a mall, supermarket, or big-box store
I like that you descriptively provided three different shopping locations, but if you really want to cover male headturners definitely include the hardware store.
I understand what you mean about “hey! I’m a woman online” but I have to be honest getting perspective from a diverse group of women even on a small Internet forum where there may only be a handful of them actively online is really helpful. So, for example, this comment from @Gaashk was very insightful. Maybe just for that tender reason alone I appreciate knowing women online.
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
Haha, I started using the internet when I was 16 so I do remember TITS OR GTFO phase; those men probably have families now. Strange thing to consider.
if you are actually a woman you will get the deserved attention that you want
What type of attention do women deserve and want? I want to imagine the internet is more egalitarian now and just being a woman online (an egirl?) isn’t enough to warrant any special treatment or attention.
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
You think so? This place scratches some autistic itch I have to observe humans as anthropological interests, but yet I love the feeling of being outside the bubble of it. I’m too stupid for astral codex ten though sadly. Wish I had that advanced form of autism.
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
We've mostly had the kinds of jobs where feedback came in the form of getting yelled at, or sometimes unexpectedly fired
That sounds terrible and that is my fear that if you devote yourself even to a satisfying job at some point you may lose your humanity and see people as numbers (or worse human resources, or worse liabilities on a balance sheet)
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
someone on a private discord told me about it, it’s a bit overwhelming but intriguing!
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
Well I wish the existence was more Tesla-esque in terms of intellectual output. You’re right that there’s some erosion of the soul when it is just devoted to the altar of inputs and outputs. My only salvation is that this feels easier than the socialization aspect of being human for now. I might be asking a completely different question in a year about all this though.
didn't feel like I could be my real self around them
You can’t really, not many (or anyone?) can handle the true nature of human wanting or whatever. Hope you’re doing better mentally now?
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
What are some bluegrass pieces for the bass that you like to play?
rennala
anchoress
6d ago
Your 20s sound so idyllic, thank you for describing them and your life now too, it all sounds lovely. I sort of imagined myself vicariously at a bonfire too for a moment.
This is the thing with socialization, it never seems like a bad thing and people’s overall view of them doing all this is always great to learn about.
I’m a woman too but I think I crave positive reinforcement in the form of quantized and measurable feedback which a high-impact, complex job seems to offer. Sometimes I struggle with such feedback from human beings, and it might be unseemly to ask people to rate their social interactions with me on a scale of 1-10?
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